I only have five minutes to bake.
Now, who can make scrumptious, tasty chocolate chip butterscotch oatmeal bars in five minutes? Not I, but that fact has never stopped me. Because I always try to fit in too many things in too little time. And then I whine, “Why can’t I get everything done?”
Nice, the way I psychoanalyze myself, I decide, as I soften the butter and pour in 1½ cups of white sugar, mix, then add ½ cup of brown sugar. The purple mixer, a sweet Christmas gift from my son and his wife, whirrs along like the hummingbirds outside our window. 
Until we moved back here to the temperate climate of the bay area, I’d never heard the soft buzz of the hummingbirds’ wings as they compete for the sugar water in our feeder. Hard to replicate in words or even human sounds. How to describe? Like a hundred bees racing by my ear, only without the buzz. No, that doesn’t do it. It’s a hum as indescribable as the sound of a mixer’s beaters swooshing in the creamy butter/sugar blend.
I watch another hummer whiz past as I crack in one egg, then the other. Of course, I cogitate; my son had ulterior motives for giving me a new beater for Christmas. He loves my cookies. And he’s smart, I’ll hand it to him. He moans with delight and appreciation every time I bring him a new batch of chocolate cookies or, his favorite, my ‘forgotten cookies.’
Shoot! Speaking of forgotten, I am now 2 minutes late for my yoga class. I add another egg and a teaspoon of vanilla. The smell of the extract gives me a sense of serenity usually experienced after an hour of yogic gyrations. Total nirvana. Funny, how one of the synonyms for vanilla is ‘bland” or ‘plain.” Vanilla is one of the finest aromas in the world – up there with honeysuckle or the ocean. 
Ocean! Oh no, I promised my brother I’d send him the pictures from our summer seashore vacation. Has it really been a month since then? Where’d the time go? I almost sent those photos two weeks ago, but I got immersed in writing some new chapters of my book, and visiting our Berkeley grandkids, and my ‘day job,’ and our four out-of-town visitors in the past month.
I measure 2 ¼ cups of flour and slowly add it into the bowl, attempting to not sneeze as the white powder tries to escape the impending merger.
Speaking of merging, my daughter calls, interrupting the cookie making, and talks about the latest ultrasound. She and her husband merged again, and a third child is on the way. How the hell did I become a grandmother of five, soon six? Last time I looked, I was tucking our children to bed after reading them the fourth chapter of The Witch, the Lion and the Wardrobe.
Oh damn. I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning again. My wardrobe is suffering for it – will I need to wear the same blouse from three days ago? Horrors.
The mixer moans and I remember that I’m beating the hell out of my concoction. Quickly, I add the oatmeal and the chips. I’ve missed yoga, I’ll have to add a load of clothes to the washing machine now, and the potatoes are bubbling for the casserole tonight. Where was I?
Ah yes, five minutes to get everything done. I glance up at the clock. Well, I only have five minutes now before I need to….The dog hits his head against my arm. “Feed me,” he says, “Now.”
“Henry, it’s too early!” I tell him with a twinge of sympathy. But I glance up at the clock. Twenty minutes past his dinner time. Where oh where did those five minutes go?
WHAT DO YOU GET ACCOMPLISHED IN FIVE MINUTES?
ha ha…great post! I used to be able to get stuff done in 5 minutes. Come to think of it, I was pretty good at multi-tasking too. Not so much anymore! Lost that ability after I turned 50. (-Love that hummingbird photo)
By: soonie2 on August 24, 2012
at 2:05 pm
Oh, I was hoping I couldn’t do as much in 5 minutes because I was trying to do too much – age is not allowed to have anything to do with it! :+) Yes, hummingbirds at dusk turn into magic.
By: roughwighting on August 24, 2012
at 10:40 pm
I hear you, sister-friend! Personally, I think we lose our multi-tasking skills as our kids grow up and the tasks become less urgent.
By: Melaney Jordan on August 24, 2012
at 2:49 pm
Good point, now I just have to convince myself that there’s no urgency to the task! I enjoy your blog – can you put the link here so other’s can discover it?
By: roughwighting on August 24, 2012
at 10:41 pm
We women are supreme multi-taskers until we retire. I actually feel wasteful only doing one thing at a time in my five minutes. Now, about those oatmeal bars, share the love, sistah!
By: Leslie on August 24, 2012
at 4:27 pm
Do you want the c.c. cookie love, or the recipe love? I’ve got both for you!
By: roughwighting on August 26, 2012
at 12:42 am
A real life post…..good to find the humor in it!! Love it! paula ♥
By: stuffitellmysister on August 24, 2012
at 11:02 pm
Laugh, or you’ll go crazy – something like that, yes?
By: roughwighting on August 24, 2012
at 11:27 pm
exactly!
By: stuffitellmysister on August 25, 2012
at 12:02 am
If you can fill the unforgiving five minutes
With 300 seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the world, and everything that’s in it!
And – what is more – you’ll be a woman, hon.
(with apologies to Rudyard Kipling, even though he’s dead and all)
By: Susan Brody on August 24, 2012
at 11:25 pm
Um, I think I’d rather make chocolate chip oatmeal bars. :+)
By: roughwighting on August 24, 2012
at 11:27 pm
You wore me out with the fun and craziness – I’m going to sit down for 5 minutes, but wish I had a cookie and a glass of milk, so I could be doing something in that 5 minute break!
By: thestorywoman on August 24, 2012
at 11:33 pm
Sitting down for 5 minutes is a GREAT idea. I’ll come bring you over the cookie – you provide the milk!
By: roughwighting on August 26, 2012
at 12:46 am
Only got five minutes and lots of things to do? Make a list of all those things. Then you get to feel productive and you won’t forget anything.
By: Joan Leacott on August 25, 2012
at 6:47 pm
Good idea. Maybe if I write it in a list, I’ll realize I shouldn’t do ANY of it!!!
By: roughwighting on August 26, 2012
at 12:38 am
Great story! I can’t understand why the clock keeps going and I don’t! It keeps getting worse in this oil-of-old-age era! Guess that’s why I found this wonderful box of choc chip cookie mix … all you add is one tsp of butter and one egg and voila! Definitely not as good as yours but you can spend more wasted time on the computer and still not get anything done!
By: Sandi Z on August 25, 2012
at 7:25 pm
Ahh, cynic that you are. I’m sure your ‘quick’ c.c. cookies are delicious. And I love the ‘oil-of-old-age’ expression – never heard that one, but you have some amazingly fascinating experssions in your repertoire! :+)
By: roughwighting on August 26, 2012
at 12:41 am
Actually, that I’m claiming credit for that expression! I made it up a long time ago, unless I read it somewhere and it sunk into my subconscious!
By: Sandi on August 26, 2012
at 6:44 am
You should patent it – otherwise, I’m going to use it in one of my books – I promise!!
By: roughwighting on August 27, 2012
at 12:34 am
Oh, do I ever relate to THAT! lol Time is forever running away from me, too. Those bars sure look good, though!
By: mywithershins on August 26, 2012
at 2:08 am
Time can stand still for a few seconds while savoring my chocolate chip butterscotch oatmeal bars. Thus, I eat too many of them!!
By: roughwighting on August 27, 2012
at 12:35 am
Roughwighting, you tell the most marvelous stories. I loved your cookie-mixing escapades so much. I have been trying to do lots in five minutes all afternoon. Pick beans, make phone calls, plan a surprise visit, pick tomatoes, move furniture, clean table, read 100 blogs, no, wait a minute, make pico de gallo. Your story made this crazy life seem wonderful, missed yoga class or no.
By: Kathy on August 26, 2012
at 8:30 pm
Yes, you make a fabulous point. Our many five minutes of too much are part of what make our lives so wackily wonderful!!
By: roughwighting on August 27, 2012
at 12:36 am
Ha! I can so relate to this post. Where does the time go!?
By: Writerlious on August 27, 2012
at 3:12 pm
You mean you don’t have the answer???
Think there’s another dimension somewhere that has stolen minutes stored and hidden like treasure? I do!
By: roughwighting on August 27, 2012
at 11:53 pm