Close your eyes and think of your first school picture.
Do you remember how proud you were, sitting on that hard little stool, a dark blue or bland beige background behind you, everyone’s eyes on you as the photographer beseeches: SMILE!
When you view the photo weeks later, your parents oohing and ahhing, you wonder: is that what I look like?
And, then you think: That’s not a smile. That’s the look I give when I stub my toe, or when my brother/sister whacks me in the arm when mom isn’t looking.
But, suddenly, in the wink of an eye, it’s the next year and time for another school picture. This time, you tell yourself, I’m going to smile and look right into the camera and come out of there with a true representation of ME! (Well, maybe when you were in 2nd or 3rd grade you didn’t use the big word: representation. But you get the gist.)
Years later, when your parents spread around your school pictures for your college boyfriend/girlfriend and anyone else in the world to view, you grimace. What a dork I was.
When you’re 20, and even when you’re 30, or worse, 40 and now your kids are laughing at your school picture, you think wistfully: “If only I could skip back in time and re-do that 1st grade school picture ….”
My daughter hated her school pictures, yet she blithely sends her kids off two weeks ago for theirs: pre-school, 1st grade, and 3rd grade. The two boys, 4 and 7, are dressed in button-down shirts and khakis. The 8-year-old girl has freshly shampooed hair, a shiny barrette that matches her tangerine shift, and sweet peach earrings in her newly pierced ears.
Not knowing the immense importance of that day, I pick up the middle grandson from school in the afternoon for some special time alone with Madre.
He hops into the car and blurts out enthusiastically. “Today was Picture Day!”
Hmm, I think suspiciously. What’s he so cheerful about? This grandson usually strides to the beat of his own drum.
“How’d it go?” I offer.
“Wellll,” the 7-year-old peers at me as if wondering if he dare tell me all.
He dares: “Mom had me all dressed up with a fancy shirt and stuff, but I wanted to show a better reflection of myself.” (Yes, those are the exact words he uses.)
I look at the boy in my rearview mirror, thinking, “uh oh.”
“So, I wore my shark t-shirt instead, and pinned on my Sheriff’s badge.”
I admit, I want to shout out, “Good for you!” He’s so proud of himself.
But I also wonder if I should call my daughter and warn her. She is NOT going to be delighted about his rebellious school picture.
I choose my grandson’s side, and keep my lips sealed.
Yesterday, daughter texts me a photo of her middle child’s just-arrived school photo with a few exclamation marks and wide-eyed emoticons.
I just chuckle and whisper, “Hooray – here’s one kid who will love his school picture when he grows up.”
I liked that Emerson quote, although for me I feel the goal is almost impossible even after all these years, or is it because of all the years I have on me.
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I think I’m going to learn a few things from my grandson – and start wearing what I want!!! 🙂
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Love, love, love this post and your grandson is an old soul.
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I totally believe in the concept of old soul, Bernadette. This is the grandson who stopped in the middle of baking with me a month ago, and told me he’d been alive 1,000 years ago. Guess what? I believe him! ❤
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I hear you. Strange the experiences these little ones bring into our lives. Strange and beautiful.
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Wonderful post, Pam. Your grandson sounds like a wonderful kid–and I love his photo! I hope your daughter does, too.
One of my daughters–fifth and/or sixth grade–wore two headbands all the time. One over her hair, like one does to hold back hair, and the other across her forehead. She also wore two different colored socks. I loved her desire to be an individual and to stand up for herself and for others. (Plus, I never had to worry about matching her socks.):)
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Love your headband story about your daughter. So…? Is she still a free-spirit? And does she like those old school photos of herself?
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She kind of cringes, but laughs, when she sees the old photos. I wouldn’t say she’s a free spirit, but she is definitely her own woman, and she will stand up for justice and what is right. That’s true of both my girls.
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Then you did a GREAT job as a mom!!
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Awww, thanks, Pam. 🙂
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❤
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He’s got spirit! You’re right! He’ll probably look back on the picture with pride rather than regret. 🙂
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I hope I’m still around when he’s 20-something so I can see his reaction when I bring his school picture out to him when he visits me with a girlfriend. 🙂
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His reaction will be priceless. 😀
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This is how I started my day by reading your post! It was refreshing and insightful!! Children begin to express themselves even at a young age and good for them!!!! I remember my son insisting on wearing the same outfit to nursery school to the point I had to tell the teachers they are washed every day when he gets home. He was only 4!!! I’m sure your daughter wasn’t happy but your grandson was!! 😊😊😊😊
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Thank you for starting your day with me, Karen. Or at least with my little flash of life. I had to laugh about you insisting to your son’s teachers that his clothes were washed every day. Oh, what our kids put us through!!
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Adorable! Good for him!
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Yes, I think my grandson earned that Sheriff’s badge he wore. 🙂
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Very cute! Great post! I remember when my mother made me wear a bobby pin in my hair for my third grade picture. My bangs were growing out and I guess that’s what you did – I was not happy, but I didn’t think to take it out even though it looked terrible! With my kids (all boys), I gave up the fight to get them to wear something nice for their pictures…after many battles. Now they wear whatever shirt they want and we laugh about it. Some years have been good, others haven’t, but I’m happier not fighting about it.
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I think knowing when to give up the battle is a good thing for moms. Not sure my daughter is ever going to give up though; it’s fun watching each of her kids (two boys, one girl) react in different ways to her/his parents’ expectations. I must admit, it’s more fun as a grandparent than when in the middle of it as a parent! 😉
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Oh that face….he’s adorable, Pam! He looks so happy. I love the Jaws t-shirt too! I never liked my school photos, or any photos for that matter. One of my least favorite was my third grade photo. I had the Carol Brady (Brady Bunch) hairdo. LOL!
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Ohhhh, looking at those old school photos now takes us right back to the mortification we felt, doesn’t it? You didn’t like your hairdo – I wanted straight hair so much. I had to contend with curls and waves that never behaved. Particularly not during school picture day!!!
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Good morning Pam, that brought back a pleasant memory! My middle son decided he wouldn’t tell me when it was picture day. Boy was I surprised when he brought the picture home. It was his best school picture ever. He wore a tee shirt and his hair was messy. But that was him…. I still laugh about it.
Enjoy your weekend.
Sharon
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Well, Sharon, your son was smart. He kept picture day a secret from you. These days, I think parents get e-mail notices about these things, so it’s harder to keep a secret. So, what kind of dresser is your son now?
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He is a casual dresser… Likes to look nice but nothing fancy.
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Your grandson is a brave soul, and he will probably go far in this world—looks like leader material to me! 🙂
Loved your post.
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Thanks, Mary. I think a rather ferocious independent spirit will keep this grandson on his toes…and everyone else’s…. that’s for sure! Thanks for commenting – great seeing you here. xo
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Great post. I chuckled, and agreed with comments about the old pictures. Cheers to your grandson.
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Thanks, Bonnie. I never know what to expect from this little boy. But I DO know that I’m going to get tons of exuberance and joy. How great is that? 🙂
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Good for him! I hope he always has the confidence to be himself. I love that picture.
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My little grandson’s school picture makes me smile every time I look at it. I think I need to pin it nearby, so I’ll always be reminding myself to JUST BE…MYSELF!
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Right on! Hope he’ll keep right on being himself.
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As Ralph Waldo Emerson acknowledges, it’s not easy to stay true to ourselves. I’m going to watch my grandson and keep urging him to do so….
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What a great quote, Pam 🙂 I have to say, the only thing I remember about having my picture taken is the uncomfortable feeling having to force a smile because oft times you can see it’s not natural. I hate the school pics for that reason, especially since, at that time, hairstyles weren’t all that becoming lol But I do like seeing the progression of a kid’s life, especially my son’s. It’s history 🙂
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So true that as parents it’s fun to see our little beings grow up with each year’s school picture. A bit depressing, though, when we look back and realize how darn fast that happened…
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You said it, Pam. My son and daughter-in-law’s anniversary just passed and we can’t believe it’s been 4 years since their wedding and Hurricane Sandy (which made it an incredibly stressful 10 days prior, with it being cancelled, then put back on, plane flights cancelled, all kinds of stuff). The four years have passed so quickly, they are moving into a house in a few weeks and plan on starting the baby-making process in a few months! lol
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That’s happy news – from the storm, comes peace.
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So funny! A friend’s son made a grimace in his high school senior picture. (It was hysterical.) Yep, the one that goes in the yearbook and all over. She was initially annoyed but accepted that that’s who he is. He graduated from college and is fairly normal now.
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And of course the question always is, what IS normal? I bet at that moment of your friend’s son’s school picture, grimacing was quite the normal thing to do. 🙂 🙂
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Pamela, truly, this little apple didn’t fall far from the grandma tree, just earlier! Way to go kid and keep the broad smile every time you jettison the expectations of others so you are who you are. Your Madre is the good role model in such matters.
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Oh, I hope so Doug. I hope I’m a role model for following your own expectations, and not that of others. The role model of doing what’s right for YOU, not for others. And the role model of not caring about the whispers behind your back, but instead, to just laugh and keep going. xo
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The quote you offer from Emerson complements the message in your post so perfectly, Pamela! And the photo of your grandson is the glue that keeps it together 🙂 From those days long ago (much longer than I care to recall), I remember less about my facial expressions and more on the clothes that I was asked to wear – some sort of fashionably acceptable combination of plaid and suede. I shudder just thinking about it. It is amazing, is it not, how those smiles become much more natural when we are allowed to “dress” how we want – both inside and out? Love this message and love this post – well done, and thanks for the reminder to smile from the inside out no matter whether your 7 or 77 🙂
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“Some sort of fashionably acceptable combination of plaid and suede.” Oh my gosh, I’m still laughing at your phrase. Reminds me of when my daughter saw a photo of me from high school and asked me, “Mom, how COULD you dress like that?” Well, that’s the way we ALL dressed. But I guess that’s no excuse, is it. 🙂
I love quoting Ralph Waldo. I live in his territory now and visit his home where he wrote and taught and lived. He was a man ahead of his time …. like my grandson, I think. 🙂
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Love this grandson. He is more than precious and certainly super interesting. 😀 😛
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Thank you, Tess. I have a feeling this grandson is going to keep us guessing and on our toes for a long time to come. xo
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I love kids like that. They end up growing into super interesting adults. 🙂
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Oh my Gosh! I love, love, love that school photo!! Bravo little man, bravo!!
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You’re so right – it takes bravery to be yourself…
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Good for your grandson!!! Emerson would definitely be pleased! 🙂 Fantastic photo!
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Wouldn’t it be great to bring Emerson over here, 150 years later, to see how relevant his teachings still are?
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I love that grandson and the story. its a wonderful quote Pam, it’s easier to be yourself when you are old but so hard when you are younger.
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Wise comment, Gerlinde. I am SO much more myself now than I ever could be when I was half my current age.
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“I wanted to show a better reflection of myself.”—Haha, I love that so much. And what a great pic he ended up with. No conformity for this guy!
Hope you’re doing well, Pam, and that fall is treating you well so far. 🙂
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YAY, CARRIE! So wonderful to see your profile picture here coupled with your comment. The fall is gorgeous here in NE, as I’m sure it is where you are… hopefully all unpacked and cozy in your new home….?
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We are indeed, thank you. 🙂
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Congrats!!
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🙂
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oh pam…loved this sweet story!!! it made me think of the horrible pictures that I
had taken–one in which my bone straight hair all wild, fat curls from my aunt hazel’s
permanent!!!! thank heavens it WASN’T ‘permanent’!!! LOL
your grandson is a wonderfully spirited little man!!! oh the places he will go….
thx for the great memories it conjured up for us all!!!!
xoxoxo
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I wish you could have posted that picture with your non-permanent perm, Pat. Back then, we didn’t know we could chuckle about those awful school picture decades later. xo
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Oh I love this post Pam, and that shark sheriff picture is utterly adorable!!! I love that Emerson quote, one of my faves…and the epitome of easily said and NOT so easily done, but hey – we can aspire 😉 Your young grandson, it would seem though, is already well on his way! Love and hugs, Harula x
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This grandson has decided that sharks are his ‘thing,’ so he only wears t-shirts that have some kind of shark on it. Of course, his mom is helping him in this endeavor. She just hadn’t planned on ‘the shark’ being part of his school picture. 🙂
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Ha ha! That is a great post, Pam. This kid will go far!
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He may even become an oceanographer, famous for his ‘shark whispering’ when he’s a few decades older. I wouldn’t be surprised….
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Let’s hope he speaks their language if he goes in for that.
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Ha ha ha. I love the shark tee and the sheriff’s badge. Wonderful, Pam. Were the others your school photos? My brothers and I have an album full of horrible school pictures, and I have one for my daughter. They’re so funny to look at now. Bug eyes, weird smiles, bed-head, sour mopes, the whole gamut. Great post!
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Hmmm, I’d love to see those school pictures of you, Diana. Reminds me of high school reunions, where they display 3rd grade photos of everyone, and you have to guess which photo matches each adult. In this blog, the black and white one is me; the other ones are my son and daughter. Hopefully they’ll never get to this post – they might not talk to me again for awhile. :-0
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Perfect! I never liked my pictures. I’m glad you supported your grandson! It’s his picture!
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And wouldn’t it be good if we were all so ‘true’ in our pictures?? 🙂
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Thank you for the smile-inducing post and the wisdom-filled quote, Pam.
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Thank YOU for enjoying my little family-school-picture drama, Russ. 🙂
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The power of photography is found the ability to stop time. We can remember and wonder and laugh and celebrate!!
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Ahh, so true. Looking at an old photo of ourselves can bring us right back to that moment, as nerve-wracking as that might be!
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I do not remember my school picture days in the first grade, but I do remember wearing a blue beaded necklace in the 3rd grade and my mom didn’t know until we got the pics back and she was mortified! “OMG! I didn’t know you wore those on PICTURE DAY!!” LOL! They were tacky little blue beads, but hey, I liked them. I do remember getting into a hellacious fight with my mother the morning of 5th grade pics and I ended up wearing a navy dress!! UGH! I hated dresses!! *still do* and you can see in my pics I am NOT happy about the dress! But after that?? I got to wear whatever I wanted on picture day! he he! Go grandson! Rock on little man!! 😀
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Your school picture stories say so much about your personality, Courtney: fierce, stubborn, independent, and oh-so-wonderful. Isn’t it amazing, how we can remember those ‘little fights’ with our parents as we struggled to be who we were?
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Yes ma’am but after the 6th grade, picture day was very important to me. I can remember being extremely careful what I wore and how my clothes and makeup looked. 😀
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The eyes never lie at any age. And I would keep my eye on that middle grand-son – Ha! He’s going places. By the way, did you know that the eye is one aspect of the anatomy that is full size at birth? At least that’s what my son told me.
I say “Aye” to this post, mah-vel-ous!
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That’s fascinating – I did NOT know that about the eye. It’s rather magical and mystical, isn’t it, that our eyes arrive ready and able to show us the world – to bring us ‘eye-sight,’ so to speak. Thanks for sharing that info, Marian (and thank your son!).
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Woo Hoo! Love hearing about such a “free spirit.” Conformity is overrated.
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Conformity is SO overrated, and yet so much easier than fighting to be ‘different.’ ❤
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Great story! He’s a cutie.
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Thanks, Amy. Speaking of good stories, I finished The House of the Hanging Jade. Loved it – reviewed your book on Amazon. Keep on writing, my friend! You’re a great storyteller.
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I bet your daughter is secretly proud of the photograph too. After all, it is her son and she perhaps remembers the horrors of having hers done. Mayhap your granddaughter had hers taken perfectly.
Well done your grandson for his individuality, I wonder where he could have got that from Pamela ???
xxx Massive Hugs xxx
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I can only hope that my grandson does take after me in the independence, free-spirit, creative side. Perhaps that’s why we enjoy each other’s company so much! xoxoxoxmanyhugsxoxoxox
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Good on your grandson! Most of school here in Australia have school uniforms so children wouldn’t be able to make a similar choice. The quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson is a perfect accompaniment to the post. 🙂
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Thanks, Norah. I’ve always thought that uniforms do make it much easier on school mornings for students, as well as parents. On the other hand, Ralph Waldo would say they put on the brakes to early independence.
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That’s right. There are good things about them, and not so good.
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May we all grow up to be like your grandson (and may we all have a sheriffs’ badge to wear for our tough days).
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I hadn’t thought of that, Letizia, but you hit the nail on the head. We ALL need our own sheriff’s badge!!!
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What an amazing grandson and wow, he knows what life is about already! To think and dare be himself – against even his mother’s wishes. I am so impressed and cheering for him! Fantastic quote and one I’ve never come across before – one for my quote book! Thank you so much for sharing, Pamela – shows us that the most important lessons are those outside the classroom whatever your age.
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This grandson opens my mind to places I’d never thought of going. And he’s only 7! I make sure to play checkers with him lots, because the conversation that results from the time together is eye-opening. :-0 Thanks much for your comments, Annika. xo
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Good for him for dressing exactly as he wanted to for his class picture! I think he will always look back on that with nostalgia rather than regret. When my daughter was in third grade, she was told she could bring a “prop” for their picture if she wanted to. Much to my dismay, she choose a friend’s ugly stuffed pig. But now, whenever I look at the photo, I smile.
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Oh, I love this story. A ‘prop’ is a fun, but perhaps difficult suggestion to a child about to have his/her picture taken. Who knows what he/she might bring? What do you think you’d have brought in your third grade? I’d discovered books by then, so my guess is I’d have a pile with me, on my lap. 🙂
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What a fantastic picture! Your grandson will go a long way in life, Pam! He is truly an individual with a load of personality 😀
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“Personality” is good to have when an adult, but a bit more difficult when a child and everyone aims for conformity, you know? I worry a bit about how my little grand-sheriff might fare in school. Hopefully he’ll always have his sheriff’s badge to help him battle his detractors.
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Oh this was funny. You were not a dork- really a cutie pie. I hated school pics and have no idea where they are. In fact I have lost things from lonmg ago, packed away in boxes and storage bins and none of them or marked.
But you have one smart grandson. Love his independence. He’ll go far some day.
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That is so precious. That young man is going to be a leader not a follower. Good for him and drop breaths for you daughter. I had one of these rebels myself. Not always easy to parent but a joy to watch them believe in who they are.
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I’m having flashbacks to my school photos 😀
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Not a ‘pretty picture,’ huh? 🙂
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Such a great post and I absolutely love all the photos here! Your header is stunning. Warm greetings from Montreal, Canada. 🙂
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So glad to have you stop by here Linda! Thanks for enjoying my photo-I imagine you’ve also had beautiful fall colors this season.
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I LOVE this – your grandson rocks 🙂
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That is for sure Andrea. Thanks so much! 😘
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Awesome!! What a great kid, and brave too, probably knowing it wasn’t “acceptable.” I hope that picture gets framed and hung on a wall!!
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Well Kate, it may not get hung up at my daughter’s house. But it sure will get hung up in mine! 😏
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And the older you get, the more innocent you realize your picture looks. Was I ever like that???
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This little guy sounds wonderful! You must have a blast with him 🙂
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Your Grandson inspires! Thanks for sharing. 🎄
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Clever grandsons keep grandmoms (Madres, in this case) on our toes!
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