How old am I?
I peer inside myself, deep deep down, but really, the first shallow answer to that question is the same answer after I’ve dived into the well of my soul.
I am 482.
Perhaps older, but in our strange culture of age and the importance of youth, this number will suffice.
I am ancient. I feel it in my bones. Not my physically sore, stretched, aging bones, but in my metaphorical bones. The bones of me – the structure of my being.
I’ve been around a while.
When I meet people for the first time, I see them: their polish and their bluster; their fears and their kindness; their anger and their joy.
Can a teenager do this? No. In fact, can a soul who’s only arrived on this earthy level once, or even twice, note the lacy-webbed intricacies of an individual?
No.
Only those of us who have been around, and come around, over and over.
Only then can we feel like we truly appreciate the sheer breathless beauty of a pink-hued dawn. Only then can we hold the tiny hand of a newborn and note how our pumping heart bleeds a bit in honor of what this young soul has in store for her.
Only then can we say goodbye to a dying friend with the ease of knowing we will see him again.
And only then can we commune so easily with special animal companions – a cat or a dog or a chicken, a gerbil or bluebird or squirrel – knowing her being has intertwined somehow completely with ours.
So, do I feel old? YES, I’m blessed with being that age when wisdom and grace and gratefulness seem to help me stroll through this strange, holy space with anticipation and glory.
How old are YOU?
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Thank you for enjoying my post!
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Very intetesting! I am definitely an old soul… I am not sure exactly when it happened, but it most certainly did… Next?
Have a great weekend!
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I understand, Sharon. Probably happened “ages” ago. 😉
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Yes, we are blessed, aren’t we? I’m not sure how old I am, but I feel better now, in my 50’s, than I did in my 20’s and 30’s. ❤
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Me too! Must be the writing energy that swirls within us, yes?
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I think I must be 137. That’s how long ago my great-grandmother came into the world and when I finally arrived in her life I was touched by her wisdom, grace and gratefulness. She was the only adult I knew who understood my doll was a real baby. When I left my doll sitting precariously close to the edge of the couch she gently admonished me to remove her from the possibility of falling to the floor. Mum died when I was six years old. I do hope to live long enough to greet my own great-granddaughter to likewise bless the start of her stroll through this life.
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What a beautiful special memory of an extraordinary woman who understood the world you inhabited as a child. I’m sure parts of your great- grandmother ARE embedded in you, as you are in your granddaughter…and in your great-granddaughter to-be. ❤️
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This is a rare snapshot and sentiment, and written well. I felt like I wanted to read the rest of “the story.”
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In a year when I have lost many people I love, your post reminded me of what I truly believe and has given me comfort.
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I’m so glad I could be a conduit – a spoken memory – of the truth we hold inside, Bernadette. 💙
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I’m sorry to hear of your losses, Bernadette, and hope the right people have been present and available to see you through.
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507 … there it is in being … no idea in knowing …
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Ahhh, Y E S!!
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What a great post! Great perspective on growing older.
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To being an old soul with a young spirit! 😍
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Such an insightful and provocative post. Thank you for nudging me to think a bit further….
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Sometimes delving inside is amazingly revealing, Donna. Enjoy 😊
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It’s wonderful to read a post about the beauty of growing older and the wisdom and inner knowledge that comes with age. The photos in the post are beautiful, too.
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Many thanks, Amy. I had fun searching my photos for this post. 💚
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My favorite line: Only then can we say goodbye to a dying friend with the ease of knowing we will see him [her] again.
I wonder how you arrived at the number 482. Maybe you gave a hint somewhere and I missed it. Hmmmm
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482 just popped from my pen as I wrote this, so went with it!! 😏
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Beautiful post. Last night I was so tired I felt about 982. But most days, not that old. Maybe 300. 🙂
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300 is a great age, Lorrie. 🤗
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Strolling with wisdom, grace, and gratefulness = a good way to be!
Enjoy your journey.
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Strolling through, into, above and beyond- heavenly. 💕
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I began to feel that I was the age of all those who came before me when I started our family history. We knew very little but at the end of the day I was able to go back around 500 years. As I learned some of the stories of my great grandmothers and beyond it struck me that I carry a little of all of them inside me. The fact that I love music or dancing, telling stories or healing therapies. What really brought it home was the DNA test that I did 16 years ago that linked mine to a woman who died 20,000 years ago, riddled with arthritis but still at 40 one of the longest living women of the time. I believe in cellular memory and we all carry thousands of year’s worth. As you say the older we get the more we reveal within us and the more we see in others. Terrific post Pamela.. will put in the Blogger.. thanks Sally
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Fascinating finds, Sally. How much fun it must have been to discover each thread!
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Isn’t that wonderful- to feel our ancestors within us? And to know we each carry such wisdom and experience inside. I so love your comment, Sally. Thanks so much for sharing this post. XO
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Pleasure Pamela.. it gave many of us something to think about.. xx
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😘
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Lovely and moving post, Pam. Such beauty and grace in your words. I have no idea how old I am, but I do hope along the way, I’ve learned some lessons about what’s important. If you think about it, there is a part of each of us that extends back to the primordial soup. We are the successful descendants of the very first life, billions of years ago, and we carry that inside us. Happy journeying, my friend. 🙂
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Aha! Maybe that’s why I always find myself singing, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming …”
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Isn’t that cool, though, Erik? For us to be here, there couldn’t be a break in that billions-of-years-old string of life. That’s old old old DNA. 🙂
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Makes this iteration of myself feel like a spring chicken!
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Yes, but part of you is also ancient.
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An ancient spring chicken-I think there is a poem that. 😍
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And don’t you feel, Diana, that when we write, the words from all of that DNA knowledge and truth come forth? To our never ending journey. XO
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Ooooh. Something like that. I’m not sure where it comes from, except that sometimes it doesn’t seem to come from me 🙂
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Fabulous post. Lots to think about. Love the baby!! Soooo cute.
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Thank you so much Darlene. That baby is now my eight-year-old granddaughter who is enjoying your book! She’s an old soul-isn’t it funny how life just goes around and around?
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Yes, it does go round and round. The cycle of life. Glad she is enjoying Amanda’s adventures. Hugs from me.
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Satchel Paige about had it right: “How old you be if you didn’t know how old you was?” Is the idea to be timeless in spirit soul mind heart inquisitiveness creativity -and- let the body age as it will. You got it mastered, err, mistressed, Pamela!
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Mistress Pam response: YES- we are timeless in our souls and in our creativity and our love for those around us. Forever. ❤️
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Pingback: Smorgasbord Blogger Daily – 10th March 2017 – Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, Kevin Morris, Jessica Norrie, Pamela Wight and Nicholas Rossis | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life
Well…. let me see. I feel about 400 most days. Now and then I feel I’m in my 40’s. Actually I’m 80 years old or young, what ever the case might be. 🙂
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Please share as many of your stories as possible with as many people as you can. And write them down (or force someone else to with cookies).
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Ha ha. Thank you Erik, I will try but all of my stories will involve an animal.
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All the better!
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There is the attitude! -we are whatever-our-age is …YOUNG. Despite aging bones and blood, I really do believe that we are as young as our attitude. Even if we are an old old soul. 😇
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This is profoundly creative Pam! How old? I have never given a thought…in the competitive spirit of remaining young forever… 828 has always fascinated me as the wings it gives diminishes my thoughts of ageing bones.
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828 is a GREAT number- I think we’ve communicated with each other before-maybe when we were both 400 or something 😳
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Quite possible! 🙂
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Lovely post. Not sure how old I am but pretty old for sure and it feels okay.
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💙
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I’m as old as the hills and as young as a song.
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Ohhh, I love that expression and remember hearing it many many years ago. Heavenly 🤗
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This post surprised me with tears. I do feel old. ❤
Funny how a new baby will get us thinking about all that came before and what's ahead for the wee one. I don't have a number because timelessness doesn't have one. We are each part of each other, the chain that never ends (or I hope not).
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I hope the “old” you feel is one of peace and surety, not un-youth. If the latter, think back on the things you loved to do as a child … and, no matter how silly or impractical, do some of them again.
Works for me. 😉
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*smiles* Thanks.
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Your comment is just beautiful, Tess. You are so right-timelessness has no number. And we are all made up of the same “stuff” over and over again, aren’t we?
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I’ll be pondering this one for a while. I don’t want to pick a particular number thought. It all feels rather more fluid than that . . .
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Ahhh, that is so brilliant of you Arlene. The fluidity of life is like a deep deep blue lake that never ends. 💙
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The concept and “weight” of time is much like the ocean for me. I feel inexplicably connected to parts I can’t see. My thoughts are always moving forward and backward in time, even as I practice living in the present. I look at a tree and wonder which trees were its parents and if they stand nearby. I see a stone and wonder if a dinosaur stepped on that one. As I drive or walk, I look around and see various “states” of the reality around me: how it may have looked in 1950, 1875, 1740, 1600, 1000. It shimmers and morphs, houses and roadways changing or disappearing, as period dress bedecks passersby, until it all becomes wilderness.
I’ve always been drawn to vampire stories as well, not for the horror of their brutality, but their relationship to time.
I had a dream a few years ago. I was standing in an airport between two conveyor belt “people movers,” each going in opposite directions. I’ve personally known and been involved with thousands of people over the years, mentored them, been in their wedding parties, held their babies — sang at their funerals. In my dream, this lifetime’s worth of people were on these conveyor belts, smiling and waving wildly and reaching over the rails as they passed to hug me … and then they’d each pass, one by one, glancing over their shoulders as long as possible, even as the next arrived on both sides. It often feels this way — that others’ lives are passing, moving, going by, as I remain just where I am. This is not to say I’m not undergoing change inside, only that I feel … somehow outside of the movement of time, even as I’m inside of it.
Even appearance contributes to this. My mother is 73, but looks like she’s in her 40s. I attended her 50th high school reunion with her — and had to walk outside to collect myself, because I saw in her schoolmates past how old she really is, heard it as they spent 15 minutes or so reading the names of “those we’ve lost.” It’s easy to forget, because of her health and youthful appearance. I myself am nearly 50 and am still carded or asked where I go to college. While I appreciate the good genes, I sometimes feel my “slidiness” about time would be less if I saw time passing at a normal rate when I looked in the mirror.
As you can see, this one got me thinking. (I’m just not sure if I should be thanking you or shaking a fist in your direction for it.) 😉
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Oh wow, Erik. Your comment got me thinking and thinking and thinking as if I’m on a conveyor belt with thoughts just flashing by. I really do enjoy the way your mind works. When I was in my young teens and first reading seriously, I loved most science fiction because of the idea of time travel. But really, we can travel in our mind anywhere and at any ‘time(s)’ that we want to. I know wherever you go, it will be a fascinating place.
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I so enjoyed this thought provoking post Pam. Although I can’t quite peg how old I really am, I always knew I lived other lives and that I indeed am an old soul. Many tines I can tell with children if they are old souls too. I’m not sure what it is, just a knowing. 🙂 ❤
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Perhaps it takes an old soul to know one….! xo
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I certainly think so. 🙂 ❤
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Moved. I
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Thank you, David! ❤
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Lovely and thought-provoking post, Pam. How old am I? I do know that I feel as if i’ve lived several lives. I guess that goes with the territory of being married twice and moving around a lot, as well as living through several experiences that were particularly trying.
So glad you mentioned animals! ❤
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Hmmm, do we feel ancient within our souls because of our current life experiences… or more than that? I do believe that many animals (souls) have been around a long long time, don’t you? But then, some people don’t think animals have souls. I find that astounding. Just look inside their eyes, and you delve into a deep well…
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Of course they have souls. Some people are so silly!
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EXACTLY.
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Great post on age! I feel as if I’ve always been an old soul. How old am I you ask dear Pam?!?!? Hmmm. I’m as old as the day is long or short! Which simply translated means ….it depends, my dear! It depends. 💚☘
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Truer words were never spoken, Karen. May your day be short but the memories be long. xo
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I like this, Pam. It explains so well why there are children who are wise beyond their years, and ‘middle-aged’ people who are dumb as doorknobs.
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Oh, I’m laughing Joanne. You got right into the ‘heart’ of the matter. But yes, the old soul philosophy definitely explains much, doesn’t it? 🙂
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Ohhhh it’s our age within that really defines us, as you remind us in this wonderful write!
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I’m reading a book that a British blogger recommended ages ago, called “Separate Beds.” Set in London, Contemporary fiction. I’m at the place in the book where a long-time wife visits her (never friendly) elderly mother-in-law at her nursing home. Suddenly, the wife looks at all the shriveled up old women while perusing the photos of them when they were young and attractive, raising kids and being active citizens (teachers, lawyers, nurses, etc) and the wife realizes – ‘these women are all still THEMSELVES – still vibrant and amazing inside the shells of these old bodies.’ As a reader, you feel the wife character suddenly “get” it – no matter our age, we’re still ourselves, our souls are always there. And maybe have been everywhere else before…. !!
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Oh how wonderful! Your explanation of that moment in the book is truly breathtaking xxoo
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I recommend the book – wish I could remember which blogger recommended it to me – one from England, no doubt. xo
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I feel so young inside, it’s my body and bones that are old. I do think that we are all connected somehow. What a thought provoking post Pam. Knowing that we see our loved ones again, I hope your right Pam.
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I hope my instincts on this ‘soul’ thing are right, too, Gerlinde! I’m feeling pretty certain about it, though. But I’m completely certain about the connectivity of all humans.
Now, if only I could acquire your cooking/baking expertise through that connectivity. :-0 🙂
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969, like Methuselah. But tonight I’ll get a good night’s sleep and tomorrow I’ll feel like I’m 45 again.
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Ha ha, Methuselah. Hope the sleep worked and the soul is light and airy today. xo
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It did. Feeling better today!
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I am not old, but very young. Two I think. Everything is new and fascinating, and I am very small.
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How sweet, Lucinda. Y E S – I also sometimes stop and go back to that young girl I was by closing my eyes and reopening them to see the world at 3, or 6, etc. New and fascinating and so much fun, that world! 🙂
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That must be what makes you a very vivid writer. You know how to place yourself within a moment and write it.
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xo
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Yes, my dear, you are definitely an old soul. I love conversations with those who’ve been around the block a few times because they see beyond the sidewalk. (And because sometimes they twirl with abandon during a March snowstorm like a six year old, free and abandoned and in slow motion.) I don’t think our *truest self* has any permanent age at all. It exists in the ever-present moment and therefore out of time. Happy snowstorm, Friend!
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Now that is just too fun – you enjoying conversations with those who have been ‘around the block’ because they see beyond the sidewalk. Never heard that one – maybe you just made it up, and it’s brilliant. Deep intense conversations with those who see beyond the sidewalk are such a delight – too rare, and that much more special when they happen.
Wish you could have twirled with me in the blizzard today, Kathy – I think we would have been laughing out loud together. 🙂
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Beautiful post Pam, I love your take on being 482 🙂 I am all ages – the child I was and the old woman I’ll hopefully be one day!
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Lovely. And the older I get, the younger I get, for sure. ❤
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Nice! My doctor seems to believe that I have a young spirit, but I think he believes that because I see myself as the younger version of me in spite of what he is telling me about my body :0) However, I believe I have gained a bit of wisdom and appreciation for many things I used to take for granted, so maybe I am not as immature as he sees me. I do have to say, however, that I believe My doc meant that he liked my “can do” attitude, so I took my “youth” as a compliment in that particular context. Thought provoking post!
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Immaturity has its rewards! Ha, only kidding. But if it’s immature to always be a kid-at-heart, then let’s never mature. Stay healthy and happy.
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Agreed😊
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Your post made me think of all the many lives I have lived and yet every second is still so very precious.
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And I suppose that’s the important piece – that we make every second count….no matter how “old” we are. xo
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I think it depends upon the day…hope you had a lovely birthday, my friend!
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💚 for sure.
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Metaphorical bones – love that phrase.
determining age – like measuring time – is as easy as grasping a morning mist.
Lovely post
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What a delightful simile!! I may want to ‘borrow’ it sometime. 🤓
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What a wonderful post and I really hope you had a lovely birthday Pam xxxx
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Thanks- always special to see you here. 💙
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Aww, she is more precious than a little bunny or baby lamb, Pam.
I feel and sense people who have old souls, often being drawn to be part of their magnetic pull. I feel pets get to heaven quickly without any “entrance fees.” I love Shirley Maclaine, who has lived many lives and is still fresh and young in her voice and appearance. 🙂 You are definitely a lovely woman inside and out.
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Wow – nice way to think of it. Yes, I do think there is some type of “magnetic” pull (or energetic pull, or something??) to people with old souls. I know that people who “pull” me like that become good friends almost immediately. And yes, agreed on the pets. And just like you, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed Shirley MacLaine books. I think we’d have a great time if we ever met for tea/coffee/wine/ice cream sundaes. 🙂
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All of your remarks made me smile, Pamela. So glad my “magnetic pull” sounded possible, while I like your “energetic pull” thought, too.
The ones who come towards us with pieces falling into place, just seem to become part of our lives from the first moments. . .
Sure, all of those foods and beverages fit with how our get together (in my mind) would “go down.” 😉 Especially, if it became extended. 💖
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Ha! Yep, I’m feeling about 491. But I’ll feel better tomorrow. Or whenever I finally get a good night of sleep. 😉 Delightful post. Hugs!
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It’s wonderful sometimes to wake up and feel 16 🙂
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Some days I feel ancient… my body reminds me that I am no longer a teenager. Then other days I feel like I should still be 20. What happened to those days? I mourn them sometimes. I have those woulda, coulda, shoulda moments that take me back to when I wish I had been smart enough to make better decisions. I DO have regrets… I have no idea how old I am *sigh*
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Ah, Courtney. You’re an old soul in a delightful body –and don’t ever forget it. ❤
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I just turned 60 but hey I feel 45 at most – that’s what counts right?
Time flies when you look back in a glance but holds still when your kids are little and you think they will never ever grow up!
P
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So true, Peta. When I was raising my kids, I thought that’s “the way it was” forever. What a shock when the nest emptied, and life unfolded in fast-mo. 🙂
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