I could never get picked up in a bar, or even a high school gymnasium.
Not that I tried that often. I’m not a bar-hopping, party-loving kind of girl.
But still, most women, teenagers to octogenarians, want to feel attractive and desirable.
But even back when I was 16, when I hoped to catch the eye of a cute guy or two, I couldn’t even catch an eyelash, particularly – especially – of the one I had a huge crush.
Skip Greene.
He was a tall drink of water in the small muddy pond of my junior year of high school.
He was Heathcliff, Captain Kirk, and Ricky Nelson, all rolled into one.
I’d attend the darkly lit gym dances monthly on Friday nights for half a year and moon after Skip, wishing I could be the one star in his sky.
He never looked past his nose, much less past the dusty dirty gym floor over to my secure spot in front of the bleachers.
The rejection hurt, even though I knew that I had set my sights too high.
Flash 14 years later.
I was newly single, mildly attractive (so my married friends told me), and ready to find a wild side. Could I possibly have one?
My brother and his long-time girlfriend insisted on taking me to a bar. I think they felt sorry for me, the “poor older sister who didn’t have a man” kind of thing.
They sat me down on a stool in a dark wood-paneled bar. My brother’s girlfriend whispered, “We’ll be at a table in the back corner so we don’t chase anyone away.”
So I sat, alone, drinking my Chardonnay, not catching one hooded eye, much less a man. I watched the other women nearby pull their heads back in wild arches, laughing uproariously at the witty words of their male companions. They dressed in tight t-shirts and tighter skirts, breasts half-exposed as if pearls at a jewelry display.
I felt like a cheap trinket until, miraculously, my glass half empty, a nice-looking man sidled up to a stool next to me.
“Is this seat taken?” he asked.
Before I could answer, a dark ominous male figure loomed over me and my brief companion.
“What’s your name?” the second man challenged.
I groaned.
“I’m just getting a drink,” the first man explained, defensively.
“Well, this is my sister. And I’ll be watching.”
The first man didn’t even order his drink. He slowly left his stool, walking backwards, keeping his eyes on my brother.
I laughed out loud, picked up my wine, and joined my brother and his girlfriend at their corner table.
Back to the bleachers for me.
(Sending a Happy Birthday to my bro, who always looks out for me.)
Pam, you have me laughing in the end when you describe that bar scene.
Did your brother really do that? 😊 . I now wonder why as the aim of their game was to let you meet new people. Confused but laughing at a brother’s protectiveness. Better too much than too little care.
Still grinning
miriam
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, totally true story. My ‘little’ brother has always made me feel special, that’s for sure. 🙂
LikeLike
Oh dear, I’ve done the brother thing! Even worse I was so protective of my post-grad students at conferences – I can well remember one, a Japanese girl just finishing her PhD, I was helping her get exposure for want of a better word, asking me to help her shake of a persistent guy – I put myself between the two of them and said I was her Dad! It kind of worked apart from her almost wetting herself laughing! A decade and more later she keeps in touch, so maybe I wasn’t that bad!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are a STAR, Eric! It’s a cruel world out there, and as strong and capable as women are, it’s still hard to be safe. Your post-grad student appreciated that. And still does!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know about a star but there are times my wife and daughters and even eldest granddaughter now 12 think I’m of another planet!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha!!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Pam,
I like that scene in the bar 🙂 Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was fun to remember that bar scene. I never tried it again. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brothers are like that. Gotta love them!! My brothers were all younger than me so I was often looking out for them but they still can be overprotective. Love the story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
At the time, I’m not sure I appreciated my brother’s overprotectiveness. Now, I realize how lucky I am. But we sisters are all lucky to have brothers in our lives, aren’t we? ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, we are. After losing one of them, at a young age, I really appreciate the two I still have.
LikeLike
So funny, Pam. Happy Birthday to your brother!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happened a long time ago, Merril, but still brings me a smile. I met ‘my guy’ soon after (not in a bar!), so all good. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
What a sweet brother! 🙂 Happy birthday to him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He’s the sweetest, kindest, best brother in the world. But I may be prejudiced. xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a great brother you have, Pam! Happy birthday to him!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Jill. My brother and I have a good time teasing each other, and have gotten so much closer over the years. xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s wonderful! xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant! Love it.
LikeLike
So glad you enjoyed my ‘brother in the bar’ true story, Louise. 🙂
LikeLike
What a cute story! Lol.
LikeLike
Hi Jodi. My bro is a pretty darn cute guy. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So your brother had remorse about urging you to become a barfly? That’s probably just as well.
LikeLike
And, for the record, no self-respecting woman should ever end up with a guy named “Skip.” That’s just common sense.
LikeLike
Thankfully I didn’t meet a ‘Skip’ during my one-night as barfly. I could have been a goner…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not sure why he left you sit at the bar in the first place! It’s great to have a sibling like that.
LikeLike
Best intentions lead to near disasters…? Good title for a short story. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Having 4 other brother’s I can relate, just a priceless story! Definitely made me smile.
LikeLike
FOUR brothers?! Whoa. You must have a trunk load of brothers/sister stories!! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha-true!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s nice to have a brother who cares, although his actions might be a tad challenging. 🙂
LikeLike
I realized the important part of that evening was being a lucky sister, not that I may have almost met my match except for a brother’s interference. Haha.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice perspective.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant – loved it.
LikeLike
Thanks Mary. Oh brother, what a brother! 🙂
LikeLike
Uproarious! My little brother wasn’t born yet, so not help from him.
By the way, I was always last (or nearly last) when kids were picking players for games. No matter: I ended up with a prize – a tall drink of water, and more.
LikeLike
Last can definitely be first in games and, even, in love. 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Everyone needs a brother like yours most of the time. There are those few where less is more.
LikeLike
When young I didn’t appreciate my “little” (younger by 18 months) brother. But once adulthood set in, I realized what a lucky sister I was. However, I also began to call him my “older sibling.” 🙂 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLike
heh heh. brothers!
LikeLike
Exactly. 🙂
LikeLike
That is such a great story. Your brother clearly a bit over protective but so funny that he organized it and sabotaged it all in one fell swoop.
LikeLike
Yup, organized it and sabotaged it in one hour, in a wood-walled bar. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh My Goodness…. How I can relate… not to the brother part but definitely family and friends…. “Sharon, we need to find you a man!” “You dress too nice…. you look like a business person!”, “you’re too smart, you scare men off” LOL… Well, that’s too bad because I am who I am! And guess what, I am making it through life just fine. a successful single parent with three grown sons….A successful business lady… happily retired after 35 years of Corporate America! And tons of friends! Loving Life! Not to mention my wonderful grandchildren… and I don’t have to share with grandpa….
Thanks for the reminder, Pam!
Enjoy your weekend!
LikeLike
YOU GO, Sharon. Your comment gave me a wide smile. You have so much to be proud of, and we blogger friends are right there with you. xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! 😀
LikeLike
I have a brother like that but he would probably drink a beer with the guy and scare him away later if he didn’t like him.
LikeLike
I laughed out loud when I read your comment, Gerlinde. Hey, you have a friendly brother who will keep an eye on you, but can enjoy a beer at the same time. Smart fella. 🙂
LikeLike
Wonderful story. Love the photos, too.
LikeLike
Thanks! My brother and I just found some of my mom’s old albums, and I’m digitalizing the photos and making them into two albums: one for him and one for me. Fun finding the photos of us when were, I’m guessing, 2 and 3 1/2. xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brothers! Great entertainment here, and a happy birthday to your protective brother. My brother and I used to fight all the time when we were kids, but to this day we still love each other dearly.
LikeLike
Sibling rivalry in the beginning turns to sibling appreciation as we mature. Thank goodness!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahahaha! I LOVED this bro tale, Pam. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLike
Thanks for enjoying my bro-love memory, Nancy. 🙂
LikeLike
Lol! You have an awesome brother Pam. Thanks for sharing his story.
LikeLike
And thanks, Balroop, for tweeting my story about strong (protective) sibling love. My brother IS an amazing man. xo
LikeLike
Great brother story. I had three of them, one older, two younger. Remind me sometime to tell you about the night I came home and the three of them were standing on the corner of our street, arms folded, waiting for me to come home. It is funny now but not then. 😳
Happy Birthday to your brother.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohhh, I can’t wait to hear that story!!!!! 🙂
LikeLike
I fully expected you to say you saw the guy you had a crush on and he was a pot-bellied bartender. 🙂 I was a lot like you to. I was too skinny and too picky. Fun story.
LikeLike
If I had written a fictional tale here, I definitely would have run into Skip. Oh, and if he was the pot-bellied bartender it would have been even better!!! But, sigh, I’ve never run into high school Skip for all these many years….
LikeLike
So funny, Pam! Your brother sounds terrific…although if you had wanted to chat with the guy at the bar, you had my permission to smack him just then!
LikeLike
Haha, thanks Donna. The thing was, I didn’t even want to be in that bar in the first place, so my brother gave me a good reason to get outta there. That said, my daughter was quite (too?) discriminating in her dating choices, thus she seldom dated. Her mother (yes, me!) kept on telling her – “go to a bar with some friends.” What a mom! ;-0 Well, finally she took my advice. And she met her (now) husband at the first bar she went to. Go figure. Love/life is odd….
LikeLike
Looool 😁😁 He sounds like a darling. Happy Birthday to him… And you are more than “mildly attractive”. You are ATTRACTIVE. Point blank!.
LikeLike
Awww, thanks. Happy October birthday to YOU. I love the quote on the top of your blog: “Writing is the strip tease of the soul” – Anne Marie Fabulous and true.
LikeLike
It is isn’t it? 😅, and thank you honey 😊
LikeLike
A great story made even better by the fact it’s true. The forever unpredictability of brothers!! 😀
LikeLike
Unpredictable, for SURE! But fortunately, in loving ways. Kind of. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pam, I’m groaning along with you at your brother’s words to the guy – no wonder he scarpered! Very sweet of your bro but still..! 😀 I’m sure the three of you had a great evening afterwards. You describe those school dances (discos) perfectly, blimey, weren’t they the most painful of events?! And there’s always a Skip…A great post, Pam that has me chuckling. As for going out…maybe with some female friends and no brother? Enjoy yourself! ❤️
LikeLike
I was kind of a loner back then, Annika. Thus, my brother decided to take it on himself to ‘get me out there.’ Ha. Lo and behold, I found my main man (my guy for over 30 years now) a few weeks later. NOT in a bar. :–0
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a typical brother to me! Thanks for a funny post that lots of us will relate to.
LikeLike
Oh, brother. Brothers! I thank my lucky stars every day that I have one!! xo
LikeLike
I have two older brothers so I can relate to this! They were both helpful and hindrances in my love life. Btw, Skip is probably bald and flabby by now… and drinks too much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like that – brothers are helpful and at time a hindrance. I’m actually grateful for my brother’s interference that night. The man I’ve been with for over 30 years found me a few weeks later. And NOT in a bar. 🙂 ❤
LikeLike
Ha ha, Pam, this is so funny. There is nothing like a sibling to clip your wings – is there?
LikeLike
What a great way to put it. YES, my brother wanted to clip my wings, and/or definitely clip the wings of the guy next to me at the bar. 🙂
LikeLike
This is a great story/memory, Pam, of the love and ambivalence of a brother who couldn’t quite release his sister into the lion’s den, even though he had good intentions. Haha!
LikeLike
What are brothers for, if not to keep us sisters away from that lion’s den?! 🙂 Thanks so much for enjoying my sibling story. xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh dear, you’d never get a date with that kind of ‘support’ 🙂
LikeLike
For sure, I never got a date when I was with my brother…!!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I expected a totally different ending as I was reading – wondering for a moment if Skip Greene and you were finally going to connect. Brothers! (fathers too, sometimes). You might as well have joined them at their table if your bro was going to chase everyone away from you at the bar – lol.
Having lived in Manhattan for 20 years during my younger days, my experience was quite the opposite. I met MANY men in bars (women too) – bars and restaurants were where most people socialized. Most didn’t have the room to entertain in those small NY apartments, so I never thought of myself as “a bar hopper.”
And, since I LOVED to dance, you would never have found me on the bleachers. (actually, our high school bleachers “accordioned” into the wall, so they weren’t even available during those gym dances, so you wouldn’t have been there either.)
Fun post, Pam.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
“It takes a village to transform a world!
LikeLike
Ah, what a difference a small town makes. Yes, if I lived in the city I’m sure I would have been a ‘player.’ 🙂 Although, I’m quite an introvert, so maybe not. The BLEACHERS spelled SAFETY to me. I love your perspective of meeting people happily and safely in bars in the Big Apple. And dancing the time away. xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those days were some of my happiest, extrovert that I am. I love meeting and getting to know new people in new places, and dancing is one of my favorite activities. Folks don’t seem to dance much here in Cincinnati, and I’m not an exhibitionist – lol.
xx,
mgh
LikeLike
I had a major crush on a guy from 5th grade to high school. He never gave me a second look. Then in high school when he WAS interested, he was known as a player so then I got to turn him down! LOL! Fast forward many years and we reconnected on Facebook. He told me how much he always liked me in high school and wanted to go out with me because I was different from all the other girls! HA HA! Whatever…. I always had a boyfriend in school and dated the same one throughout my junior and senior year so I wouldn’t have had time for him anyway. Besides that, I would much rather be friends as adults than to have burned that bridge in high school…so to speak. He’s a great guy (now) but still not my type even if I weren’t married. So glad I am and don’t have to worry about the dating scene at my age. I feel for those who are trying to find a partner in this day and age. The single world out there is weird!
LikeLike
I bet we’d have quite a book of fascinating short stories called “CRUSH” if we considered publishing one on the stories of a two dozen women or men, Courtney. Yes, I think most crushes leave people….crushed. You were a smart high schooler! I’ve never seen or heard a word about Skip since he graduated (a year ahead of me), so can only guess through my imagination what he’s like now. I agree with you, it’s only gotten harder in the dating scene now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brothers—you have to love them! Loved the story, even though I was hoping for a different ending!
LikeLike
The ending happened a few weeks later, when an amazing man found me (through a mutual friend, not a bar) and we’ve been together ever since.
My brother was nowhere around. 🙂 🙂
LikeLike
Is this a true story? SOOO FUNNY. Brothers, oh brother. But what great guys to have in our lives. Worth sitting in the bleachers for. ❤
LikeLike
Oh, this story is totally true, Diana. I’d always ‘liked’ my brother up til then (although we spent little time together). After that, we got closer and closer. Sometimes you discover a person’s love/respect for you in the most weird situations.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We’re lucky, Pam. My brother and I are very close too. I love him to pieces. 🙂
LikeLike
Bar days were fun decades ago, but many don’t like to go to bars now and meet people online – easier to run away, lol 🙂 x
LikeLike
So true, Debby. Which is better? I suppose it depends on your personality. Since I like to write (as opposed to actually TALK to someone face to face), I guess virtual dating would work best for me. ;-0
LikeLiked by 1 person
Many people use online dating now. The trick is to be able to have some tech smarts to make sure we aren’t being misled. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really enjoyed this story, Pam!
Happy belated birthday to your brother! 🎈 🎉 🍻
Having had two brothers who were close in age, I liked their friends and they liked mine. I didn’t get kissed until the weekend before my 16th birthday. I let this fact be known at a Girl and Boy Scout camping trip (nearly 16 and never been kissed) and after the campfire, one young man told me to meet him at the bottom of the steps of our girls’ cabin and he gave me a really good kiss! We ended up going to his winter formal.
I have always been close to my Mom so I told her, he tried to put his hand up my long dress. She made me write him a note that we couldn’t date again. “Too fast,” which I was relieved. I was a little immature. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a memory of 16, Robin. Ohh, you brought it all back to me, too. Like you, I was a late bloomer (we don’t have to think of ourselves as immature then, just a bit more innocent than others..). :-0 Your comment speaks to how important it is for moms to have good relationships with their daughters, so they can share info and give great advice. Your mom’s was fabulous.
LikeLike
I think your brother got a bit ‘conflicted’ there! I have no brothers but sisters who have been a constant source of support in my life – one just moved out of London (not that far away) but I had a sudden flash of all the times she helped me move flats/house and it was a real jolt not to have her living in the same town as me anymore.
LikeLike
I’ve always wanted a sister. Fortunately, my brother’s wife calls me “Sis” and we get along well. Hope you still get to see your sister often even though she’s outside of London now. (And hopefully you don’t move since it will be harder for her to help you.) 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this story. I think we can all relate to warming the bleachers in our youth. Sounds like a great little brother! Everyone needs someone to watch their back. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
The bleachers get a bad rap, don’t they Jean. I mean, in many cases it was better than getting our toes stepped on. 🙂 Yes, having a sweet brother/friend/relative watch our backs is pure wonderfulness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Perhaps your little brother could spot a bad apple for you. I didn’t have a brother, but I remember a brother-in-law chasing away a guy who asked me to dance. Glad you found Mr. Right on your own. Cute story!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My little brother approved my guy from the first, so maybe you’re right about the apple. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
I love your story, Pam. My middle sister and I were 18 months apart and sometimes walked to and from school together. Many people thought we were a couple and not available. I think she sometimes missed out on being asked out because of it.
LikeLike