This is the first time in my life I can order my mom around, and she has to listen!
She sits on the couch, back against the long floral armrest, head against an added pillow, legs straight in front of her on the rest of the couch, more pillows raising her feet.
“But,” she protests, “I know where the butter is, and the pan to grill the bread. Don’t use the new tomatoes, use the ones in the vegetable bin, and I’m not sure if the cheddar cheese is on the left side of the refrigerator, or the bottom shelf, and…”
“Stop!” I command. “I can figure it out.”
I’m not a kid any more. In fact, I’ve raised children, now adults, who thrived on my cooking, but my mom still thinks I can’t make a grilled cheese sandwich without her help.
I take a deep breath and look at her sternly but lovingly. “You need to keep your feet up right now. You’ve just had hip surgery. I’ve driven six hours here to wait on you. Sit down and enjoy it!” I leave the room with a smirk.
Of course, five minutes later I’m cursing under my breath. Where the hell does she store her pans? Her apartment is small, her kitchen as tiny as an elf’s, and it has already taken me 4 minutes, 38 seconds to find a knife to cut the cheese. I open more cabinets and grit my teeth.
“The bottom of the stove,” mom shouts from the living room.
I open the drawer below the oven and sweetly shout, “Got it!” Why she couldn’t have told me that in the first place, I don’t know. I whistle happily as I slice and melt the butter in the pan.
“Don’t use oil or that spray stuff, butter works best!” she suggests unnecessarily.
I walk briskly back into the living room. Tennis is on the T.V. “Thirty-love,” the commentator whispers excitedly. Yup, I think, it’s 30-0 right here, in this little apartment, and I’m the one not getting my serves in.
“Mom, luv,” I begin.
She looks up at me innocently. I walk over and fluff up the pillows behind her, check her water class. It could use more ice. “Yes?” she asks. “Do you need any help?”
“Not at all!” I answer. I pick up her glass and announce. “You need more water. Ten glasses a day – at least!” I bounce back to the kitchen and notice that the butter is turning brown. Whoops. As I add more ice to her glass, I throw some slices of bread in the pan. Race the ice water back to mom and her tray, then race back to the kitchen. Now the bread is turning brown, and I haven’t added the cheese yet. “Damn,” I shout out.
Two seconds later, I hear the clip clip clip of her walker, and she is standing beside me, clucking and reaching out for the cheese, the butter, the tomato. In a span of three minutes, the smells of a toasty warm grilled cheese and tomato sandwich is wafting through the small three-room apartment.
“Yum!” she says, turning off the stove top. “Sit down and I’ll fix you a glass of iced tea. I’m starving, aren’t you?”
As she arranges a dish on her walker tray and sashays back toward the couch, I admit defeat, but also realize a cheery thought. She’s healing quite well, much faster than the doctor’s prediction.
Happy Mother’s Day to those who nurture, and those who allow themselves to be nurtured by the woman who loves them best.
Wonderful … I can picture every moment – even smell them too!
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Do you have grilled cheese there in England, Eric? Or are they called toasties? I vividly remember visiting an Australian friend who just moved to Boston when it was 90° outside and humid and she had no air conditioning and yet she insisted on making some toasties in her hot oven. 😎
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Yes toasties exist, Pam – I do mine though under a grill, either simply as ‘cheese-on toast’ or doubled up, with ham added when ‘toasting’ the top slice of the ‘sandwich’ Got to go, I’m feeling hungry!
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A heartwarming tale, Pam and one I’m sure will be familiar to many of us! 😀You both got the perfect cheese sandwich as your mother took charge! Strong willpower & spirit (and a daughter confused in ones kitchen!) can get you a long way … even out of bed against the doctor’s orders! Hugs xxx
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Not much could keep my mom in bed, even with a new hip, particularly if her daughter was in her kitchen! 😛
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Pam, the kitchen part and spirit of your mother really resonated with me. My mother still tells me where things are in the kitchen when I visited, moves me over to cut the bread if I’m helping! I just smile … it’s lovely! And I’m the same in my house …we are pecious of our homes! ❤️😀
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Sassy lady, your mother. 🙂
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The older my mom got, the sassier. She’s my role model… 🤗
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Such a sweet story, Pam! How come our mothers still know best? 😉 So glad to hear she’s healing up fast and is already on the move. Sending wishes for a speedy recovery her way. And I love all those lovely shots of the two of you! Happy Mother’s Day and a beautiful weekend! 😄❤
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Thank you, Sarah. Mom’s DO know best, which I keep on reminding my daughter! 😊
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What a lovely tribute to your beautiful mother, Pam. My mother was always right…still is! I’m so happy to hear her recovery is going well. xo
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Not only are our mothers always right, their cooking always taste better than ours! 😁
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Since Derek does all of the cooking, I’m not sure, but I have a feeling, you’re spot on, Pam. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day! ❤
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I love the word ‘sashay’ and your mother made it come to life. Sometimes when we set out to take care of our first caretaker, the plan backfires. But the sandwich is a smashing success. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your lovely mother. ❤️ -Molly
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Thanks, Molly. My mom has never walked-she has always sashayed everywhere. Have a sassy weekend! 💗
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You, too, Pam. I love your mother’s style!
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Your post made me smile. I think we can all relate to the nurturing and the nurtured. Happy Mother’s Day.
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I’m not sure that there is anything more satisfying than being nurtured by a person who thinks we are the tops. 💗
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Much better to have a Mom who doesn’t want to be waited on than one who does, right? Happy Mother’s Day Pam. I enjoyed your tale and your pictures.
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You are so right, Bernadette. And thus, I will never let my daughter wait on me when the time comes either. 😆
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Leave it to Mom to get it done. I’d love to have a grilled cheese sandwich right about now–my mouth is watering! I hope you have a beautiful Mother’s Day, my friend. Enjoy it and bask in the love of your family. ❤
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Oh, I plan on basking a lot this weekend, Amy.. I wish you much basking yourself! Happy Mother’s Day! 💕
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Sounds just like my own mom! I could smell the butter as it browned! Glad YOUR caretaker is healing so well. 🙂
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There something so frustrating about trying to be the caretaker and yet being taken care of. And yet, there is something so absolutely loving about it. 😍
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What a sweet–and yummy post, Pam. I love grilled cheese with tomato. It sounds like you and your mother are much alike. 😉
I hope she is doing well.
Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom!
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Despite what I see as many differences, in the end there are more similarities between my mom and me-between probably most all mothers and daughters. Like her, I take my tomato with my grilled cheese. Like her, I have fresh flowers in my home every week. Like her, I read voraciously. And like her, I love my children to bits. Happy Mom’s Day to you, Merril. ❤️
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❤
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That’s a wonderful story. Having recently helped my parents in the kitchen for a succession of meals, I can totally relate! Happy Mother’s Day weekend!
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It’s always hard when the roles get reversed. I bet your dinners with/for your parents were delicious with a touch of frustration. 😊
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I’m smiling here. Some things are meant to be done by certain people– and one must learn to allow those people to do them. Great story that made me hungry.
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Haha. Nice way to put it Ally. Hope you get some grilled cheese (with tomato) soon! 🧀 🍅
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Well, it’s the thought that counts, right? 😄 Happy Mother’s Day to you both!
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Thoughts and actions don’t necessarily intermix. 🤔😳😆
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Happy Mother’s Day to you, Carrie! Thanks to you, I’m still thinking a lot about vodou. 🙃
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Are you trying to tell us your strongpoint is not cooking? LOL LOVED this post. And yes, once a Mum always one. And I am really happy your Mum is healing nicely. Good for her and Bless you for helping her out. (some!) LOL Happy Mother’s Day! 💝💝💝
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Interestingly, my mother taught me well when I was a teen and I’m a very good cook. I just haven’t convinced her of that yet. 😛 Happy Mom’s Day 🌸
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🥀🥀🥀
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Oh, what a happy post this is! Thanks for sharing it, and Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!
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Mothers and Daughters are a happy combination- most times. 😊 Happy Mother’s Day, Cindy.
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Wonderful story! Think of all the grilled cheese sandwiches we have shared with Mom! Happy Mother’s Day!
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Hundreds of delicious grilled cheeses, YES! A loving meal. 🧀👍❤️ Happy Mother’s Day 🌸
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I am amazed at how fast people heal from those surgeries these days. There is a new technique that is less invasive and people are up and moving the next day. It’s wonderful your mom is doing so well!! And grilled cheese??? One of my all time favorites. We eat them with tomato soup in the south with a few pickle chips on the side. I know it may sound weird, but it works together. It is major comfort food for me because my grandmother used to make it for me all the time. That… and mac and cheese. Kraft! Right from the box! Memories… *sigh* ❤
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Grilled cheese brings back so many memories for so many people. It’s just one of those comfort meals that can’t go wrong-unless you forget to turn that bread over in time! And yes, up in the Northeast grilled cheese and tomato soup with pickles on the side also is a great combination. Happy Mother’s Day, Courtney!
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I never met your mother but your stories make her seem bigger than life!!! Don’t you wish we could just twinkle our nose and go back to specific times with them My mom has been gone 18 years. She was and always will be the best mom!! Happy Mothrts Day Pam!!!
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Memories do bring our loved ones back to us, Karen. Sending you love on Mother’s Day. 🌸💜
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Having recently helped my Mom through hip surgery I could picture every moment. I also have a strange craving for grilled cheese. Sending you hugs and warm wishes this weekend Pam.
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I hope you’re able to soothe your craving for grilled cheese soon, Sue. And I hope your mom is walking around now in good shape. I’m sure she loved having your help. Or perhaps in some instances, she loved helping you! 🤗 Happy weekend! May all your snow be gone …
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What a sweet post, it brought back memories of my mom. There is nothing better than a grilled cheese sandwich. I like mine with ham and dipped in ketchup.
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I’m imagining your grilled cheese sandwiches when you were young in Germany with thick white bread and big slabs of cheese and ham. Yum! Not too sure about the ketchup though… 😳
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There was no ketchup in Germany when I was a kid, but I learned to love it when I came to the States.
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Yes, ketchup seems to be quite an American thing. My son always insisted on putting ketchup on his scrambled eggs. Made me shiver in horror. :–)
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Oh what a beautiful mother-daughter picture. Love your too true story. My family is giving me an 80th birthday party tomorrow at the club House here. I’m not supposed to do a thing, right. The party starts at 4 and over by 7. I’ve yet to get key for venue. Just a bit nervous. I’ll try to sit on my hands and feet just smiling. Happy Mother’s Day! Love Jeanette
Sent from my iPad
>
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I am smiling at your comments here, Jeanette. Perhaps reading my post before your party was a good reminder for you to sit on your hands and let your family do all the work celebrating your 80th birthday! 🎂 😘
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I’m glad your mother is recovering quickly. And thankfully, your love and chuckles override the challenges of helping our parents. Parents are hard patients. 🙂
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Parents are probably harder patients than even doctors! But I think the love within the family helps heal the body even quicker. 😍
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Agreed on both accounts. 🙂
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Glad she’s rebounding so fast! That’s the healing power of CHEESE! (And daughters).
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You’re sharp, Nancy! Just like the cheese in my mom’s grilled cheese sandwich. 🥪 😆
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You are so lucky. Wish I still had my mom. I’d give anything to have instruct me on how to do something I already know how to do! 🙂 I didn’t appreciate it enough when she was here. Happy Mom’s Day to your sweet mother.
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Ohh, Kate. I know what you mean. This post about my mom is about something that happened a few years ago. She’s unable to make a grilled cheese sandwich anymore, but she still knows I’m around when I pat her on the shoulder and tell her stories about our mother-daughter dynamic combination that got us into a lot of funny situations. Hugs to you. 💕
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I have a bunch of those stories too. Maybe next Mother’s Day I’ll do a collection of short ones. Thanks for the inspiration and Happy Mother’s Day to you!
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If I inspired you to write stories about you and your mom…well, you then have made my week. xo
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I love that black and white picture Pam! Even could smell that sandwich…Happy Mother’s Day! You have a beautiful mom. It’s a blessing to have her around.
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Happy Mother’s Day to you, Balroop. I made a Mother’s Day card for my mom with about a dozen photos of her and me throughout the years. I think it was even more a gift for me than for her. 💕
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Moms always know best. *grinning broadly*
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Which I tell my children – as I hope you do – often! Happy happy Mother’s Day to you. 😘
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What a beautiful memory of your Mom, Pam—I have such a vivid picture of your Mom quietly taking over without seeming to do so! I can smell that grilled cheese sandwich and now, I have a hankering for one too 🙂
Happy Mother’s Day, Pam!
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My wish for you is a warm gooey grilled cheese sandwich served to you by someone you love. Happy Mother’s Day. 🧀🌸
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Hehe. That’s funny. When I know my mom is watching over my shoulder, it seems I always make some mistake from the pressure.
Happy Mother’s Day, Pam.
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So true, Lori. Although when I DO make a mistake-whether in cooking or whatever I’m working on-my mom tells me she still thinks I’m terrific. Ahhhh, moms. 😊💗
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Love. Love, Love!
Have a wonderful Mother’s Day Weekend!
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Well, that was interesting! I came through as Anonymous.
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Dear anonymous sharon. Happy happy Mother’s Day to you! 😊🙏💗
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Once a mother, always a mother. We don’t stop! Such a lovely story, Pam. Brings back memories. And, I love grilled cheese with a slice of tomato on it. I love the series of photos. I remember the Easter hats, dresses and white gloves. So many memories!
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I bet that before long those Easter hats and white gloves will come back into style. Good taste always does. I wish you a good week with a gooey grilled cheese in your near future. With tomato 🍅🧀 💗
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Wonderful Mother’s Day story Pam, I love every bit about it.
It is such fun when you get it all in a twist.😊 . Mother with her new hip rides to the rescue and all have yummie sandwiches.
I like ve the expression how your Mom sashayed in with the dishes on her walker tray. With that wink in her eye, I can well believe it.
miriam
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You make me laugh with your summary of my post. And you got it just right-my mom did ride in to the rescue with her walker and her attitude. 😄 Happy weekend to you! 💚
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What a wonderful sharing of your time with Mom. I still think back to a time my dad got on my nerves when he was no longer able to drive, so he would be a horrible “front seat” driver. But now I realize it was just his sadness at being so physically limited. I wish I could have a do-over. I think it’s great you “let” her commandeer the grilled cheese process. – Marty
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Well, I wish I could say I was wise, but truly my mom didn’t give me any chance to do anything BUT let her take over! She’s always been the boss in our family. 😁 Yes, our perspective of things sure does change as we get older and look back at how our parents struggled, maybe in ways we did not understand.
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Aww. Such a relatable story 😊
Happy mother’s day to you too.
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The odd thing is that while I wrote about how my mom would rather wait on me rather than the opposite, I realized that’s how I feel when my daughter tries to help ME with something. What goes around, comes around, huh? 🙂
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Hahaha. So it does. That is funny though 😉
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As I am here visiting my elderly parents in the U.S. I can oh so relate to this vignette. My mom is enjoying telling me how to do things ( bossing me around) and I am doing my best to be helpful and supportive. ( Not so easy as I am not partial to being told what to do…) Beautifully written and the photos are classic!
Peta
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Ohhh, Peta. You are being such a good daughter. You used exactly the right word (I’m whispering it here – our moms like to BOSS us around). And when we let them, we earn extra halos… 🙂
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Smiling…:) Wishing all a blessed and beautiful Mother’s Day!
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Mothers and daughters – a special combination. ❤
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Happy Mother’s Day, Pamela. Grilled cheese and tomato. What heaven is all about.
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Such a simple meal. So perfect. (Particularly if my mother makes it….) 🙂
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Ha haha.
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Love ❤️
It’s how we mothers stay relevant in the lives of our children 💕
Best wishes and Happy Mother’s Day!
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You always twist a comment around perfectly, Joanne. Yes, we moms find ways to stay relevant in our adult children’s lives. Me? My daughter can’t for the life of her make good cake frosting. And I don’t tell her how, so she always wants me to visit….with a cake. 🙂
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You can visit me too with cake anytime 🙂
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Too funny! I’m sure it was your plan all along to not only make her feel needed, but give her some exercise. Happy Mother’s Day to you both!
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Umm, yes, sure, right. My plan all along. 🙂 xo
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Aah your mom is a little tiger. I am so glad she is healing quickly and that she still has the gift of grit.
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You described my mom just right. A tiger with loads of grit. Hope you had a delightful Mother’s Day. xo
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Hee hee. Moms will be moms. I love how she asserts her mom-ness. And the pictures through the ages are wonderful. My mom will be here soon for 3 weeks and my guess is that she’s going to dote and give me lots of advice, because of course, we’re still kids, Pam. Happy Mother’s Day.
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THREE WEEKS??? Oh, my friend, you are an angel. I love my mom to bits, but after three days, I’m pounding my head on the walls. But, truly, I love (and miss) her doting and caring and ….dare I say it, bossing. ❤ Best of luck to you. Hope we get to read about your mom/daughter escapades in a post or two.
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Thanks, Pam. Yes, my folks can be a little trying too. My parents cancelled at the last minute due to health issues. (They fell down the escalator at the airport and decided they just can’t travel). I couldn’t cancel our beach house rental (bad) so we’re going anyway (good). Later this summer the whole gang will go to see them in Colorado (I’m already exhausted!) Never a dull moment! Have a great weekend. 😀
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Oh. No. That’s such a disappointment, for them and for you. Makes me sad. Glad you’ll still get to the beach house. Write. (And maybe you’ll come back to us here in the blogosphere earlier than you thought.)
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I will be back to blogging earlier than expected. It was a whirlwind getting everything organized and I’m a little shell-shocked. Ha ha. Some relaxing and then back to the routine!
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As you’ve taught me, a blogging break is essential in staying fresh and not getting burned out – in real AND virtual reality. xo
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This was wonderful, Pam! Moms – we so have to cherish them while we have them. And yours is obviously a little spitfire so she’s not done showing you up 😉
Happy Mother’s Day to you as well!
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No truer words were spoken (written), Dale. My mom is failing, slowly, but her grit is keeping her going, and she’s definitely not one to “go quietly into that good night.” To our moms – cheers!
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lol – you’re a good daughter. 🙂
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I try. Sigh. I try. But in all truth, my mom is a great mother. xo
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lol – Mine was never convinced that I’d actually grown up, even in my 50’s, but that’s life, right?
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Happy Mother’s Day!! 💐
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Many thanks for stopping by here and enjoying the grilled cheese. xo
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I always enjoy grilled cheese!
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You really had me chuckling. I could imagine being there with you both. It sounds like your mum will always be determined and full of advice 😉
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Less brave souls leave the room when my mom and I get together – particularly in the kitchen. Hahaha. xo
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Oooooo
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I wish you a gooey grilled cheese in your near future, David.
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I loved this post! (and can relate to it too!) Happy Mothers day to both of you!
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Thanks, Ann. At this point, I think we can relate to this post as mother-daughter, and as daughter-mother. 🙂
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Oh Pam, what a lovely story. As a mother, I understand your mother and as a daughter, I understand you. I’ve been where you’re standing now, and heaven help my sons if I sit in your mother’s chair. Love and hugs. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom.
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Thanks for the huge smile. I have NO DOUBT that when I’m in my mom’s “chair,” I’ll be just like her. To love and doting. xo
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xo
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Well no matter how hard you try you always become something of a child again in your mother’s kitchen 🙂
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No lie! If a daughter would only let go of her grown-up-ness anytime she was around her mother, her life would be so much easier. 🙂
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Happy Mothers’ Day to you and your Mom and many more grilled cheese lunches to share. 🙂
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And I wish you many gooey grilled cheeses in your future, Judy. ❤
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Oh gosh this makes me chuckle as I see some similarities with my own mom and I 😉 I’m glad it was a yummy lunch in the end… and even more happy that she’s healing well xo Happy Mother’s Day!
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Well, there’s a reason for the saying: “Like mother, like daughter,” right Christy? 🙂 xo
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We never grow up in our Mother’s eyes…. do we.
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No, we’re always the child, still in our mom’s eyes. And lord help me, my adult children are still – kids – to me. Forever. xo
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Yep. That is exactly what happens when I try to wait on my mom. Suddenly I’m five again.
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But at least you get credit for TRYING to wait on your mom, right? Don’t ever stop trying. Even if she acts like she doesn’t like it, the secret is…. (she LOVES it).
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My mom and I both share an anal retentive trait. Therefore I am pretty much the only person in the world who is “allowed” to do things for her. 🙂
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I love this. I remember when my mom wasn’t feeling well during Christmas, so my sister and I tried to do the gravy (unsuccessfully). She just came right up and whisked it all together in a matter of minutes. The woman couldn’t go out to get her own mail, but God forbid anyone mess up her gravy recipe!! 🙂
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Oh, Kate, you made me laugh. YES, grilled cheese and gravy. Only our moms know how to make it RIGHT. ❤
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What a fun day and a yummy meal. Now I want grilled cheese!
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Did you get your grilled cheese yet, Jacqui? The sad thing is that I honestly won’t ever make it for myself. Mine are far inferior to my mom’s. :-0
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A lovely tribute to the strength and resilience of your mother Pam! Mothers never stop being mothers, do they? And I do LOVE a nice grilled cheese sandwich!
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And aren’t we lucky, that mothers never stop being mothers? When I try to stop my mom from bossing me around, I realize that’s just plain silly. She IS the boss, so go with the flow! 🙂
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First, I’d have to read anything with grilled cheese in the title. 🙂 Second, just a great mom/daughter story. I can relate. And I recall the frustration of finding nothing where I expected it would be in my mom’s kitchen back then either. You acceded gracefully; Mom felt useful.
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At the time, I admit, I just felt frustrated at not being allowed to help the way I wanted to. But in hindsight, you are absolutely correct. Our moms want to always feel like they’re our —- moms — and that their talents are still needed.
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A mother’s work is never done. 🙂
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Never! Thanks for joining me here for some grilled cheese, Debby. 🙂
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LOL 🙂 Beautiful Pam. I certainly know I’m far more comfortable waiting on than being waited on, so I do sympathise with your mother, though of course she needs to rest. I’m very glad she’s healing faster than the doctor’s predicted. I’m sure having you there is a big part of it – even if what does her the most good…is waiting on you 🙂 Much love to you both, H xxx
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Weirdly, I don’t think I’d have a tiny bit of problem letting someone make me lunch and a glass of iced tea. Oh. Wait. That’s what my MOM does for me as often as possible. 🙂 xo
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Honestly, I had to laugh at this sweet story! I could picture every move on both your parts. I wonder what we’ll be like when we are as old as our mothers? I often think about that when my mom is a little challenging to me in her idiosyncrasies. I hope I will be able to “receive” from my children, and I guess I also hope my children will still want to “give” to me. 🙂 Your photos are so sweet, Pam. I’m so glad you shared.
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Believe me, I know that my daughter is watching the relationship between my mom (her grandmother) and me. I want my daughter to “be” there for me, no matter how challenging I may be. So far, she tells me she’s up to the challenge. :–)
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We have these same conversations at my home. I have a wonderful son, but somehow I feel it’s my daughter who will probably have to “deal” with me. We laugh about it now, but we’ll see. Ha!
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This sounds only too familiar!. Happy belated Mother´s Day.
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Haha. Well, you and I are strong women, Darlene, so the chances are we were raised by strong fierce mothers. 🙂
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A simple sandwich but it has to be made just right…my grandsons love my grilled cheese. The secret is I add a bit of mayo to the bread along with the butter. It makes the sandwich crispy on the outside but soft on the inside. Of course, they wouldn’t even touch it if they knew that…
Your Mom sounds like she is recovering very nicely and so good that you can be with her. BTW…I love her little cable sweater…looks so good on her also. I hope you know how blessed you are to still have her in your life…somehow though, I think you have figured that out…
Happy belated Mother’s Day to both of you.
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Somehow I just saw your comment in my Grilled Cheese post, Cheryl. Good to know about adding some mayo – I’ll try that next time! 🙂
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This is so funny, Pam. There is nothing like a grilled cheese sandwich made by mom and, let’s face it, the older generation is just better at some things.
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I’m a bit slow to responding to your comment on my Grilled Cheese post – whoa. And you’re right, some things only the older generation know how to do – JUST RIGHT. xo
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