Are You in a Good Mood?

/ roughwighting

On holidays, my far-away family makes sure we talk to each other on the phone sometime during the day: my brother calls from Maryland as his wife scurries in the kitchen, my guy’s siblings call at usually a most inconvenient time, like when we’ve just sat down for dessert. But still, we stop, we exclaim Happy Fill in the Blank (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Easter) and we fill up with love.

Which brings me to the phone conversation with my son toward the end of Easter.

Because of the three-hour difference, the day was nearer the end for me than for Sean. My guy and I had just arrived home from a full day up in New Hampshire with sister-in-law and family, daughter and family, nephew and wife. We were stuffed and relaxed and satisfied with a holiday gone well.

When Sean called, he was outside playing with his three boys after a morning that began with skiing in the Sierras and then a delightful sit-down dinner.

“How’s your Easter?” I asked as soon as he called.daffodils, spring flowers

After telling me all about their day’s events he ended by saying “I was in a good mood all day.” He sounded so pleased with himself.

Immediately I responded, “Aren’t you in a good mood every day?”

The slightest hesitation in his reply made me realize he wasn’t sure if I was asking a serious question, or teasing him.

“Nooooooo,” he finally said. “Are you?”

“Yes!” I answered with a cheery lilt to my voice.

Sean volleyed back with a chuckle and a “Well, good for you.”

The chuckle was either because he thought it crazy that anyone could think they were in a good mood every day, or because he knew I’d just told a white lie and he would go along with it, or most likely because of the ridiculousness of the fib.

No one could possibly be in a good mood every day.

Of course, all the reasons for his intelligent, articulate chuckle are correct. I’m not in a good mood every day.

But more than anything, a mother wants her children, whether 2 years old, 12, or 32, to be happy. So happy that they’re always in a good mood.

So I lied, hoping my son would think it’s normal to be in a good mood every day. Maybe, sometime when he’s grumpy and harried and having a really bad day, he’ll think of his mom, smile, and suddenly be in a great mood.

grandson, San Francisco Bay, view, happiness

ARE YOU IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY?

144 thoughts on “Are You in a Good Mood?”

  8. I am usually in a good mood but I am also human so I do have the occasional bad day. The face I show the world is a happy one and people don’t understand when I am in a bad mood. My daughter, as a teenager once said, “Do you know how annoying it is to see you in a good mood all the time!” Sounds like you had a wonderful Easter!! Here’s one for you (I don’t remember who said it, could have been George Burns.) “Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you’ve been up to.”

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  9. One has to be in a good mood because after waking up, it’s all downhill from there. After all, there is only one alternative. Like a guy says at the golf course – “Get a grip, you are on the right side of the grass.”

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    • Ugh! Mary, just yesterday a neighbor came over and joined me as I sat on a rocking chair on my porch (yes, I actually have rocking chairs on the porch – somehow it just seems right). Her cheek was badly swollen and she mumbled, “Had a root canal today.” I hope yours went well and your cheek isn’t swollen. Take care, and may your mood be good. ❤

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    • The use of drugs is a false high. Taking a long walk, stroking a dog, kissing a spouse, now THAT’S a good happy high. 🙂 (But I agree, we can’t be in a good mood EVERY day, though don’t tell my son I said that.)

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  15. No good moods for me… I’m a ‘grouch’ everyday…well, I should say, a heaping bowl of ‘Rocky Road’ makes me feel good while I’m eating it, then, let down, when I scrape with my spoon all the chocolate smears off the bow. Actually, I’m writing from the time I get up until evening TV. My good Julie Anne does all the work. Aw, I should feel guilty, but I1’m too busy feeling sorry for myself…I’m rotten…nobody likes me…I curse politicians…I yell at my cat…I’m disgusting… My ‘Warrior friend’s blog posts’ are like ‘dry Gibsons without the tiny white onions’ but all her sunshine is addictive…right! right! Have a nice day!
    Your damned sofa is hard, Doc, I’m outta here…
    Hope I pepped everyone up!
    Have a great day! I won’t! – well, maybe…I’ve got two more cartons of Rocky Road in the freezer!
    Just saying…
    Bill – the boob! ♥♥♥

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  17. My gears are in neutral right now with a tinge of glee because it’s Friday.

    I once heard/read a line that goes like this: “A mother is only as happy as her saddest child.” It’s been attributed to Dr. Phil, but I think the idea may have been expressed earlier as “A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child.” Nevertheless, I subscribe to the sentiment. Earlier today, I spoke to my son on his way to school. He sounded okay, so I’m okay too. Ha!

    The cake looks delish, and of course I feel delight beholding daffodils. Thanks for the cheer here, Pam!

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    • I’ve heard that expression so many times and, as a mom, totally understand it. I looked it up to see where it originated, but so many people have used the quote that it’s impossible to tell its origination. Even though our ‘kids’ are adults, they are still and always, our kids.
      I love making cakes on holidays. It helps my kids/grandkids and EVERYONE get in a good mood. 🙂

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  18. Great question, Pam. I can identify a bad mood: grouchy, short tempered, negative thinking, et al. But my good moods I take for granted. Guess that’s good though; so long as bad moods make “news,” they continue to be seen as an aberration. Off now to enjoy my very rainy spring day.

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    • The weather can definitely affect our moods – I know it can affect mine. Yes, here in NE our ‘spring’ has suddenly sprung backwards into cold windy rainy days. I feel myself sink into something other than a good mood and then stop, breathe in, pick up a good book, and smile. 🙂

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  21. No, I’m rarely in a good mood all day. I don’t even aspire to that anymore. I take what comes and make the best of my life (inner and outer), but I love your reasons for wanting to be happy and inspire your family. Kudos Pam.

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    • Wow. I read this at 7 in the morning and yet suddenly was in the mood for a margarita! 🙂 With a twist, since I’ve never had one with crushed strawberries. Hmmm, strawberry season isn’t too far away !!!

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  24. I’m mostly in a good mood. Once in a while I will be in a bad mood for no reason but mostly there is a reason — I don’t feel good or someone I love doesn’t feel good, too much to do, etc. Still, I’m on the right side of the ground so that’s always good news.

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    • You bring up a good point here, Kate. Many times our bad mood isn’t predicated on our own woes, but on the worry about someone else’s pain/hurt/problems. I guess the bottom line is that an empathetic person is not going to have a lot of good days…! ?

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  26. Thankfully, I usually am — when not, it’s almost always because I haven’t been getting enough sleep or because I’ve got too much on my plate. This was a very thought-provoking piece which I’ve shared on my FB page.

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    • Thanks for sharing my “good mood” on Facebook, Elizabeth. It’s interesting to me how many people admit that when they’re overbooked with activities – just way too busy – they are NOT in a good mood. I think there’s a message for us to all slow down.

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  27. I try to focus on joy in my life. I was in an 18-month Joy and Healing class and learned some techniques that I use, if needed. Just going outside and being in nature fills me with joy. I also pull joyful memories to me. A neighbor was at the end of her life. When I visited her she always talked about the joys in her life — she wanted to leave remembering the joy. The other times were just teaching moments. Will never forget that last year with her! It is conscious work, until it becomes natural.

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    • How I love reading your comment, Patricia. That would be my wish for all – that at the end of our lives, we count all the joys. What a gift your neighbor gave you, and you gave her the gift of listening and being there. Perfectly beautiful. ❤

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  28. I got used to being in a good mood every day (unless I was sick) because my mother always said to her kids if any of us was in a bad mood, “Go away to your room until you can come out and be in a better mood. Nobody wants to look at a sour face.” If there was a reason or a problem she would help us get it resolved, but self-indulgence in a bad mood just wasn’t allowed in her presence, and since we loved her so much and wanted to be around her, we got it together and cheered up. To this day, I don’t want to be around people who are in a bad mood and who make no effort to resolve their problems.

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    • I try to feed that chakra every day Nancy with some loving kindness and a stretch of forgiveness. But sometimes, that chakra seems to go missing, for sure. ;-0 Good news is that usually it’s back in place by the next day. ❤

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    • I’m right with you, Sally. Put a piece of paper in front of me and a pen, or my computer and keyboard, and I’m in a mood as joyful as a peony popping out of the ground. I love how you say “my mood is in my own hands,”… in our WRITING hands. 🙂

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  31. I’m mostly in a happy mood, Pam, but not always… and of course, I want my children to be happy always! And if they’re not, I want to FIX whatever is standing in the way. *Sigh* Parenting isn’t as hard as letting go of parenting. 😀

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  32. Good and bad moods make us human, they are part of two energies we carry within. We learn to be positive-minded as we go through the tribulations of life. I learnt to manage my mood with the experiences of life. Still learning. 🙂

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    • So well said, Balroop. No person can manage a good mood continuously – there’s too much “life” to live – the ups and downs, the rocky road. But learning to savor and enjoy the ride, that’s what helps. ❤

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  33. I can see why this would have been a very interesting conversation! I am almost always in a good mood. I think there’s a scale, perhaps, but if the only other response would be that I’m in a bad mood, then “good” wins out most of the time. I’d concur with you, however, that if one of my children isn’t happy, my mood does a nose dive, too. Ultimate co-dependency! LOL!

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    • The term co-dependency is probably right on. But we moms – we don’t really have a choice, do we? Our kids ARE part of us, always. But we don’t want them to know how much their happiness (or lack of) affects us – ’cause then they’d just “pretend” all was well. Ahhh, what a life. But spring is springing, the birds are singing up a storm of tree blossoms, and I’m in a good mood. Hope you are too. xo

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  34. I’m in an excellent mood today. My husband has the day off and we started out going to breakfast in our favorite diner – so yummy. And we have reservations tonight to have dinner at our favorite gourmet restaurant. It’s all about the food for me, Pam. Haha! All kidding aside, I’m usually in a good mood, but like all people I have ups and downs. I try to acknowledge my feelings and not judge them, knowing that whatever they are they will soon pass. As for my son and his family? I want them to be happy ALL the time!

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    • Thanks for verifying my feelings, Molly – (how we want our adult kids to always be happy, even knowing that’s not possible.) I like the idea of acknowledging to ourselves when we’re in a ‘bad’ mood (or sad, or lonely, or angry) and not judging those moods, just assuring ourselves that they will pass, and a good mood is soon on it’s way. Because it’s true!
      I enjoyed hearing about your food fun on Friday. Y U M! 🙂

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  35. If only! Does Sean read your posts and will he detect your lie? 🙂

    I think “moods” are called just that, because they “swing”. My mood changes with the weather, my health, and the circumstances I find myself in. Usually, there’s an explanation, but sometimes there’s not.

    Cheers to good moods. May they be plentiful and guaranteed!

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    • I say self-assuredly that Sean does not read my posts.
      But I could be totally wrong. :-0 Haha. If he does, he never says anything, so that means so far I haven’t gotten into trouble. 😉
      And you described the swing of moods so perfectly. Here’s to swinging UP as often as possible. ❤

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  36. Is being in a good mood the same as being happy? I think one can be overall happy with life (contented, peaceful) and at times be concerned or unhappy with a situation. There is so much to be grateful for that not being in a good mood takes some work!😆

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    • Good question. It’s hard to be a good mood and not be happy. It’s hard to be happy and not be in a good mood. Sooo, here’s to finding the ‘happy’ in every day.

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  37. I was once told many years ago that as parents we are only as happy as our saddest child. I’ve come to realize that this is the truth.

    When both of my children are riding high, my life couldn’t be happier. When one of them is troubled, it weighs heavily on me.

    … and some days I have a grouch on for no apparent reason 😏

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    • Ohhhh, Joanne. Thank you for validating exactly what I’m trying to say here in this post. Our kids are always ‘attached’ to us, no matter how far away they live, or how different their lifestyle may be from ours. Perhaps it’s not ‘right’ that their troubles can affect our mood, but it’s not a matter of right or wrong – it’s just part of motherhood. I see how concerned they are about their own children’s well-being, and I know they will be ‘saddled’ with this parental anchor their entire life also. And you know what? That’s a blessing. Empathy/caring for family is then spread to others, and their families, and to the world.

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  39. Hmm, I am in a good mood at the moment. I like what someone else wrote -that she doesn’t pay attention to good moods, only notices when things are going downhill. I can get pretty grouchy. Typically because I have too much to do and not enough time. I also agree with the post about being only as happy as your unhappiest kid. I feel that. I have six kids. One trying to decide where to go for college next year. I babysit for a handful of kids during the school day, and that can be chaotic. Today is Friday, and I managed to workout and get to the grocery store, and finding time to read blogs and maybe posting on mine too. Thanks for asking!

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    • Wow, you do have a lot on your plate. A lot to be cheerful about, for sure, but also with six kids, a lot to worry about. May you be in a good mood as you enjoy the chaotic life (and joys) of raising six children. ❤

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  40. I can see that, Pam, to be a good example of being a positive person to your children. I did that when my daughter was younger. Now she is grown up, and a mother herself. I find it good to be honest and open with her. She likes that and we could have heart to heart talk.

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  42. This post made me think, because you’re right, we do want our “children” (no matter how old they are) to be in a good mood every day. And yet we know that’s not a realistic expectation, especially since we aren’t. Maybe we need to learn to accept that? But I still think it is a good idea to teach them that often, we are in control of our moods and that being in a good mood as much as possible is a worthy goal. Good for you!

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    • I know my kids saw me handle our days together in a good mood. I do think it’s important for children to see how their parents react to stress/bad news/beautiful days, etc. Now that they’re grown up, though, their lives seem so much more stressful than we had to contend with – I feel so fortunate that I raised children before cell phones/computers (til they were in high school), laptops, IPods, etc etc. Parenting is much more difficult these days!

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  44. What an interesting topic. I’m generally pretty even tempered, but I’d say I’m ‘content’ every day rather than in a good mood. It’s a fine distinction, I know, but to me, ‘content’ is doable. Not sure about ‘good’. 🙂

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  46. You made a point a few comments ago that you are always in a good mood when you are writing—me too! What gets me in a bad mood is having to do so much stuff that takes me away from it. Thanks for bringing that up—it’s good to be aware of what affects our moods. Thanks, Pam!

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    • Isn’t it interesting how writing can take us away from any “bad mood vibes” and lighten our days? And yes, I get so frustrated (ie, bad mood arising) if I don’t get in my writing time. 🙂

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  47. You’ve hit on something I think about a lot. It’s much easier to be our children’s mood lifters when they are little ones. That’s the joy of being a mother to young kids, the ability to cheer them up. I don’t think it goes away when they are adults, but it’s different as they learn to be resilient – and when they are, that means we’ve done our job well.

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    • Resilient is a good word, and a necessity in this life. As a mom, I still wish I could make my adult children’s lives cheerier, but I definitely admire their resilience in raising kids/working/getting in a work out/”taking care of business” in a crazy busy world.

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  50. My moods change every day… I would LIKE to be in a good mood every day and sometimes, moods are just an attitude adjustment to how we decide to deal with a particular situation. Let it ruin our day, or smile and let it go. Had an awesome Bible study Sunday night with our Small Group from church and we watched an episode about Forgiveness (which in Hebrew means “Let Go”) That’s cool, huh? It is the human condition to hold on to things. But I heard a great quote once that said “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die” And it is so true. We need to “let go” of things that can ruin our day and our mood. Sounds like you had a Happy Easter Pamela… mine was fantastic! ❤

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    • Thank you, thank you Courtney for these two gems in your comments here. No, I didn’t know Forgiveness in Hebrew means “Let Go.” Makes sense, since we can’t forgive until we let go of our anger/resentment/fear, etc. And the “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die”? Priceless. Oh, yes, I’m in a great mood now. 🙂

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  52. I, for the most, am usually in a good mood….most days. And on days I am not, I try my best to find something funny to read and WALLA – the mood changes. Laughter is the best medicine. 🙂

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  53. Pam, I aim to be in a good mood every day, but, when Life comes along and slings hard balls every which way and I am doing my best to paddle to keep my head about the drowning waters, it’s a bit hard to be in a good mood. Now when all that hash slinging is behind me, sure yes I do get back up on my JOY horse to keep forging ahead. Great post!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

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  56. So true that more than anything, a mother wants her children to be happy. When they’re tiny it’s easier to make them happy, but when they’re adults they have to find their own happiness. When they do, it brings so much joy to their mothers.

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    • And that’s the lesson right there, Barbara. It’s up to our “kids” when they are adults to find their own happiness. But as parents, ohhh, how we wish only joy for them throughout their days. ❤

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  57. I enjoyed reading about this exchange with your son. I’m always in a good mood when I’m chatting to either of my children, but I also believe that a person is about as happy as they make up their minds to be. 😀

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    • It’s amazing how brighter my day becomes just by talking to one of my “kids.” Hopefully their day is brighter also from the connection. I love, love, love Abe Lincoln’s quote about happiness; it’s kind of a mantra to myself on gray gloomy days. xo

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  58. It is rare that I’m in a good mood all day, but I think I have good mood spurts every day. 🙂 Usually brought on by things that genuinely make me happy. It’s too easy to get knocked off that good mood train though. I’m working on lengthening my spurts!

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