I’m Late to My Party

/ roughwighting

eyes, late, PixabayAre you an introvert or an extrovert or in between? In the “old days,” being an introvert meant you were shy and socially awkward.  Most people who know me would say “Pam? No way.”

A psychology professor at Pepperdine University, Cindy Miller-Perrin, explains that “Shyness reflects an anxiety or discomfort associated with social situations, but introversion is really just a preference.”

Exactly. I prefer to be by myself for large stretches of time. I’m a writer, after all. But I also love meeting friends for lunch or a long walk.

Extroverts, on the other hand, “tend to be more comfortable with bigger groups and more likely to find enjoyment in engaging in lots of social activities,” according to Miller-Perrin.

introvert, extrovert

Art by Madeline Duvall.

I think an extrovert enjoys going to cocktail parties and events with lots of people they don’t know. I don’t think extroverts feel comfortable sitting at their writing table for hours making up stories or, even worse, writing TRUE stories about themselves and their loved ones. And then publishing those stories.

Me? I love writing “real-life” stories. I love it so much I’ve gathered them in a book and entitled it Flashes of Life.

Basically, I’m sharing my beating heart and tender soul to the reading world.

An extrovert flinches at the idea of soul-baring.

BUT, I flinch at the idea that I now have to shout to the world: MY BOOK IS PUBLISHED!  Please buy and enjoy. life, memoir, flash memoir

Extroverts would be selling their book on street corners, grocery store parking lots, dinner parties, and any bookstore that would accept their frantic knocks on the door.

Me? Cowering in the corner, whispering, “my book is available now.”

But (extroverted) readers who pre-ordered and read my book are shouting out to friends: BUY THIS BOOK:

“Your writing style is so easy to read and it makes me laugh and cry sometimes at the same time. You really are a gifted writer …I will recommend it to everyone and give it as a gift to many friends!” Judy, owner of a fitness studio

“I am so loving your book! It’s hard to put it down. It’s beautifully written, of course, but the content grabs your heart and won’t let go. I wish I had met your Mom. What a personality! And so much love between you…Thanks for sharing these wonderful stories with us!” Dianne, museum tour guide

There are more. But I’m too introverted to share them. My Pub Date was May 15. I’m late for my party, but here’s the link to Amazon for the paperback (click  here). memoir, flash memoir, flash stories

And the paperback and .epub version for iPad, phone, or computer is available through Borgo Publishing.(click here).

Okay I’m slinking back in my writing corner.  

What about you? Are you first to the party, or last?

211 thoughts on “I’m Late to My Party”

  1. Congratulations on your new book. I´m sure it will be a hit. I´m a rare writer who is an extrovert. Myers-Briggs describes extroverts as people who get their energy from being around people, making new friends and being busy. I go to a party, come home and want to clean my house from top to bottom. I know, weird!

    Liked by 9 people

  3. Soul sister! I am exactly the same blend of introvert combined with short bursts of social, and utter discomfort with self-promotion. You nailed it. Congrats — the book looks wonderful! 😊

    Liked by 4 people

  5. The book arrived yesterday!!! I started to read it last night and I love it, I laughed, and smiled and even sighed! I coukd not put it down!!!! Its a total page turner! I’m so glad I bought 2 books, its a wonderful gift too!! Congratulations dear Pam!!!

    Liked by 6 people

  6. Congratulations, again, Pam. I just got my copy of your book!
    I’m shy and definitely more of an introvert. I like small gatherings of friends, not big parties, especially if I don’t know anyone. I’m always happy to be at a party with one particular friend where we can find a quiet corner and talk–and early on I told her if we sat by the food, people would come to us, so we wouldn’t have to mingle. 😏

    Liked by 4 people

  9. I’m an extrovert when it’s one on one, but throw in more people and I go into my shell. Congratulations on the book, Pam! So far, I’m loving it! Silly Love Songs brought back so many great memories. xo

    Liked by 7 people

    • What’s wrong with silly love songs? And silly fun stories? Not a thing! 🥰Yes one-on-one is the best way to have a real conversation. 🤓 Oh! I had a one-on-one conversation with a hummingbird early this morning. I was sitting next to a red impatiens flower and the hummer took some nectar and then turned and gave me a nod of thanks. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Congratulations! I got my book yesterday (even posted a picture on Instagram!!) and I’m excited to dive right in. I’m hoping to get time this weekend to start reading it. The next seven days are going to be pretty hectic for me, and I think I’m going to need the kind of soul-warming and beautiful prose only you can provide.

    I love the cover and I’ve flipped through the book—the illustrations/artwork are incredible and I recognize some of the images from past blog posts. I really am so proud of you, my friend. ❤

    Liked by 5 people

  12. I’m reading you book now, and hope to finish today with a review to follow. Maybe even a FB photo if I can get my guy to cooperate – ha!

    By the way, I’m an ambivert, I think. ((( )))

    Liked by 4 people

  13. Congrats, Pam! I hope your new book does well. 🙂
    I am most definitely an introvert, and a little bit shy too. But I love one on one conversations very much and do get stir crazy if I’m alone for too long.

    Liked by 4 people

  15. It’s never too late to celebrate a milestone! Congratulations on a wonderful book! I’ve just started and plan to savor every page.

    Liked by 4 people

  16. Your published book came yesterday as a surprise because I forgot I ordered it! I started to read random stories and thought, “Wish I could write like that.” What a pleasure to have such an author at my fingertips.
    Now I read your latest blog post and am convinced you are a great writer. I am evermore impressed.

    Liked by 7 people

  17. Two copies arrived this week! Can’t put it down, love it! The other is wrapped and ready to mail to a friend because sharing special treasures is my passion.

    Liked by 5 people

  19. Yay! Congratulations, Pam. I’m so relieved and glad you made it to your own party with all the equipment. 🙂 I wish you lots of success with the release. Flashes of Life is a wonderful book!!

    Like you, I enjoy loads of time on my own (I truly cherish my elusive me-time) and I’m happy to hang out with friends. I think I’m an introverted- extraverted mix. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    • I think being a mix of introversion and extroversion is a happy perfect combination. And you know how much I am looking forward to meeting you in person! Thank you so much for your congrats and sweet words about my book. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I just ordered your book (hard copy), fellow introvert. I want that hard copy to circulate out into the world long after I’m done reading it. Congratulations!

    Liked by 5 people

    • You are a wonder and a woman who I hold with high esteem. So, THANKS for ordering my book. Let me know when it reaches you. Hoping the process doesn’t take too long. Oh dear, I’m worrying. Never mind. Ommmmm. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  21. First, congratulations on your new book. Of course, I’m going to order it as I enjoy your writing so much. I can identify with so many of your comments about being introverted or extroverted. I’m somewhere in the middle. I like my privacy, yet the pandemic drove me crazy, not being around my friends. I missed breaking bread with a friend, a few laughs with buddies over a beer, the hugs—God did I miss the hugs, traveling, etc…

    Liked by 5 people

    • Yes, yes I know what you mean. The first months of the pandemic I was – fine, I’m an introvert, my little corner of this writing world is fine. Then I started missing those smiles and laughs of good friends, the hugs of family, even the friendly faces of my local grocer and mail carrier! So, ambiverts we are, Pete.
      Thanks for the support re my book. Amazon is saying it’s “out of stock,” but they are wrong. Urgh. I’m letting go, letting go, ommmmmmmmmm. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Far too many people shout from the rooftops about what THEY ARE GOING TO DO – and never do it…you have waited until you did it – so now is the time to be proud and raise your voice – bravo to you!

    Liked by 3 people

  23. Congratulations Pam, I am sure this book is going to be your best comment on life. Wishing you great success. I try to be a combination of intro & extro… but enjoy being myself. Parties don’t attract me.

    Liked by 5 people

  26. ‘I Never Tire Reading One Very Entertaining, Relevant, Tireless’ Warrior Princess from Pennsylvania’s Lycoming College…Just for emphasis, I think she’s wonderful and blessed with a beautiful family and many friends…

    Liked by 4 people

  27. I also like to think of introverts as those who like to process things internally, before they share publicly. Extroverts like to talk. I was always in between, until an injury made socializing more challenging. So I’m perfectly comfortable with being with myself and choosing what I do publicly.

    Liked by 5 people

  30. Hey there you dear, sweet, awesome, beautiful old friend of mine……I am also an introvert…… do like getting together with a friend for lunch and with a few friends……but totally enjoy being by myself! Since I love to read and read alot, I am very happy with my own company and a good book! I absolutely love your awesome blog sweet Pam, and shall order your book from Amazon! CONGRATULATIONS on this new book of yours my fellow introvert! Thinking about you and praying for you Pam! Love ya girlfriend, Bev 🤗😊💜📚

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi Bev. No, I wouldn’t have guessed that you’re an introvert; you’re so supportive and joyful with others. But yes, strong readers like you and I tend to be introverts. THANK you for your love and sticking with me and my writing waaaay past high school. 🙂 ❤

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  31. I’ll definitely be getting your book.

    You know what? I don’t know what the hell I am. I’ve been told I’m an extrovert, yet I have zero problems writing about my personal stuff. I’m not socially awkward yet I have no problem being on my own – wasn’t always the case, mind you. I’m comfortable in large gatherings though I am now at the point where I get tired of the over-exuberance… Can one be a reformed extrovert? A balanced mix of the two? 😀

    Liked by 4 people

  33. Hi Pam, We are heading out camping soon and I am gathering books on my Kindle and Kobo apps. I look forward to reading “Flashes of Life…” I have not used .epub before. It is likely pretty straightforward. My granddaughters and I still LOVE reading “Molly Finds Her Purr!” 😀

    Liked by 3 people

    • My publisher says that readers should be able to open the epub doc on their phone, iPad, or computer. It is not compatible with the Kindle, though. I looked up Kobo and saw this: How do I put ePub files on my Kobo?
      Click Files near the top of the screen. Drag and drop the ePub or PDF file over the Kobo Books icon. Kobo Books app. Under ‘Recently Added’, you’ll see the book that you added.
      Because of the format of the book, the publisher had to use the .epub format. Me? Waaaayyyy over my head. ;-0

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  36. Congratulations, Pam. I look forward to reading your book.

    For those of us who would rather stay home and write, the marketing is the hardest part.

    Liked by 3 people

    • In the “good ole days,” the writer was only supposed to ….. WRITE. Nowadays, a writer needs to pull out some extroversion to tell the world that she’s published a book. Sigh. But it’s better than hiding in a corner with a pile of unread books. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  37. Congratulations, Pam. You’re not too late to your own party. What a lovely cover, I love it. I’m an introvert but trained to stand in front of the audience. Best wishes on getting many sells! ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks Miriam. Still struggling with the e-book version. .epub is available on my publisher’s website, but that doesn’t help the Kindle readers. More work ahead. THANK you for all of your info in the past few weeks!

      Like

      • KDP accepts ePub, Word Docx. The Kindle Publishing app creates a reflowable format, but publishers use other apps. I’ll going to create a dummy book and use the KP app to see how it looks.

        I got the reflowable version of my children’s book but it’s not the way I like it. The texts are not inserted on the illustrated images, they are on either before or after the images.

        Best wishes on the continued work of your book, Pam!

        Liked by 2 people

  38. How awesome, Pam! You are so shy… um… introverted. Ha ha.. Me too. And it’s hard to market ourselves isn’t it? It’s one way I would love to be extroverted! Congrats on the new book! I can’t wait to read it. Will the ebook be on Amazon or will it stay on Borgo?

    Liked by 2 people

  40. Congratulations, Pam! I’m used to your fiction so this will be special to read. Amazon has the print version as ‘out of stock’. Odd? Do you have it POD with them? I could order the digital from Borgo unless you think it will be on Amazon soon. ???

    It looks wonderful.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Wow! Thanks Sue. I hope Amazon Canada is able to get the book soon. Weirdly the Amazon site even in US says book is out of stock which is completely untrue. Sigh. The publisher hopes to set them straight on Monday. THIS is why I like to climb into my Zen cave. 🙂 I’m a writer, not a tecnoamazonian. :-0 xo

      Liked by 1 person

  42. Congratulations, Pam! I think we are twins – despite putting myself out there teaching for years, I do like solitude and discovered during the pandemic that I can tolerate only small amounts of being social. I get tired of it easily. Best wishes for huge sales!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Isn’t it interesting, how we are similar? When teaching my passion (writing) I’m not shy. In fact, I can be quite “out there,” but anything else, hide me in a corner and I’m happy. Here’s to our corners, Noelle. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  44. Really interesting post! I think I read somewhere that there can be an ‘inbetween’-an ambivert, which is a person who can have features from both introverts and extroverts. I think I’m definitely more aligned with the idea of an ambivert, since I suppose I can be really loud and outgoing when I’m with my regular friends, but really quiet and shy when with people I don’t know. There’s definitely more than 2 sides to it though, I think that’s for sure. Great post, looking forward to more

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi thanks so much for visiting here. Yes several other readers here said that they are ambiverts. I think I am an introv-ambivert since I go more on the introvert side than the extrovert 🤭😜.

      Liked by 1 person

  46. Pam, a unique and ‘quiet’ book launch following on from the discussion of introvert / extrovert! I have difficulties with these labels, both stereotyped and find instead everyone is their special self, often falling in between the two!

    Now, congratulations, my friend!🎉🎈 I know how hard you’ve worked on this book and not only does it look amazing, it is also a wonderful and moving book! 😀 Once again, it’s been an honour to receive an early copy of ‘Flashes of Life’ and to write an author endorsement. It is a long time since I’ve laughed, cried and been so openly moved by a book. A fantastic set of real-life stories that will touch the heart of all its readers. Well done and best of luck with your latest book! hugs xx ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

    • Your words of praise mean more than anything you can know, Annika. We definitely are soul-sister-writers and we appreciate each other‘s writing❤️ (that means writing from our heart and soul).
      I totally agree with what you say about not boxing us in as either introvert or extrovert or any other category. But… it’s still something we writers struggle with and think about and it’s been fun to read everyone’s comments about where and how they think they fit in. I must say that isn’t it wonderful how we all seem to fit in just perfectly in our blogosphere? 😍

      Liked by 1 person

  47. First, let me say that your BOOK IS OUT OF STOCK. I ordered it, but it says I have to wait until there are more copies. Well, it said something like that. But congrats!!!
    Your question is timely because I went to a wedding of a friend last night. I am definitely an introvert although I can seem social when I am very comfortable, etc. I sat at a table with the other cat people (volunteers at the animal shelter where my friend had been director of cats), all introverts (except the bride). So we had fun with our group, but I wasn’t out there being the life of the party!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Luanne the good news I guess is that Amazon thinks I’m selling so many books I’m out of stock. 🤭The better news is that my publisher tells me we are not out of stock. So hopefully Amazon will fix their snafu and your book will come shortly. The best news is that you ordered my book! I send you so many thanks. Here’s to us never being the life of the party but always being full of life! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

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  53. I’m also late to your party. I had this post up on Friday, then had to work. Saturday too, but worked, got swamped by my weekend post, and other stuff. I was still swamped on my post on Sunday, plus we went to a concert in a local park. But I kept you in my mind – I made it!

    I’m an extravert most of the time – but, like you, I can also enjoy my time alone to write … and one thing I don’t like doing is self-promote. That is so hard. Meanwhile, congratulations to you on the book … and cheers for being able to do self-promotion!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m surprised, Frank. Because of your love of walking alone on the beach, I would have pegged you for a functional introvert. 🙂 Goes to show that there’s a bit of both in all of us. As far as self-promotion, ye gad, this was hard. I’m looking forward to just …. writing my stories from now on. ❤

      Like

  54. Congrats! I remember saying you were going to write this book and now you have! I so agree that introversion is really just a preference. Would that more people understood that reality.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, somehow from the beautiful words and stories you create in your blog, I can tell you’re an introvert. I think those who are introverted are those who stop and notice all that is around them. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  58. I’m with you – I enjoy being sociable, but also being alone, which is most of the time. I think those that write often fall into that category. And hearty congratulations on your book!!

    Liked by 2 people

  59. Pam, congratulations on your new book. I find the theory that introversion is a choice. Having raised three children I am not so sure I agree with that. My take is that people are hard wired either way with most of us falling in the middle.

    Liked by 2 people

  61. Congratulations on your new book 😊😄 I’m also shy I think this is the reason people think me just looser . Few days ago l also start writing if you have a time so please kindly read my blog also and comment on my posts what I need to change in my post . Keep writing and all the best for your future books

    Liked by 3 people

  63. I seem to always be a day late and a dollar short as my dad always said. I downloaded the book but can’t seem to get the format reader friendly. I’ll wait till this weekend and have my daughter give me a hand. I’m looking forward to reading it. I’m an extroverted introvert. I love people and conversations, learning new things from each person I talk with but each exchange costs me so much energy that I feel completely drained afterward. I’m perfectly comfortable with a lot of alone time but need others around for more enriching mental stimulation. Who I spend time with makes a huge difference in the cost. Intelligent people are much less draining than those that want to discuss their ails all day. Learning something new is energizing. I prefer parties of 5 or 6 rather than 20 or 30. I’ll be on time for the party and stay late to clean up with you.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Please let me know if you can download the .epub okay. The publisher says the .epub doc works on your phone, iPad, or computer. I have it on my phone on the Apple books app, and it shows great there. But I must admit, it’s so much better in the real softback. ;-0 Your daughter can Google “how to read an .epub book on your device” and there are lots of options.
      I completely bond with your way of being an extroverted introvert. You describe how I feel exactly. When I’m with a group of people who talk …. fluff… for a long time I come home totally exhausted. People energize me who delve into fascinating conversations and shared ideas/philosophies. But then I need time alone to decompress. 🙂 I’d so love to have you over for a small party (5? 6? people) – our fellow bloggers from around the world. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’ll have my daughter check that link. I do not have an iphone or Apple product. That may be the problem. They often don’t integrate with androids. 🙂 Just keep writing those wonderful stories. Hugs.

        Liked by 1 person

  66. Yes! Look at all the support you’ve gotten here, Pam. I love the way you “tell a story” whether the story is real life or fiction. I can’t wait to sit back and read this.
    I’m an introvert by the old definition. When I was taking psychology back in the 1980s my professors described introverts as able to take what they needed from within, to feed themselves. While extraverts needed others for that kind of fuel. But a former boss (now friend) was gobsmacked when I told him that I’m an introvert. He thinks I’m the total people person. “Didn’t you know I was faking it?” I asked. I can pretend to be an extravert when I absolutely have to, but I most certainly am not… I wish I were. But I’m not. LOL.
    Wishing you huge success. I’m sharing this everywhere. Hugs on the wing.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yes we introverts can be good at faking it and acting like we are extroverts. But it sure sucks up so much of our energy to do so! That said, I definitely get energized by the wonderful people that I am around in the classes I teach and with my friends and family. But then I love crawling back into my little home cave ! I admit there are times I am out with people and I think to myself -“I can’t wait to go home and pick up a good book.” So enjoying your latest journey series Teagan. Hats off to your creativity. 🧢

      Liked by 1 person

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  72. I’m enjoying your book ,Pammie! I think it can be tough on intro/extro’s to figure out just where we fit in but who really cares? It’s fun to be be both when life’s too short to be stuck and no one ever knows which one of me will show up!!! We’ve been getting to know bits and pieces of each other and now I have an edge up because I’ve “looked” in your mirror!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks for looking in my mirror, Jeanne (ack). Good news is that since we write together, I’ve had a glimpse of yours too. 🙂 And you’re beautiful, inside and out, intro and extrovert. xo

      Liked by 1 person

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  80. When I was younger I always wanted to go to all the parties. Never had an invite or when I did I was working. Is it possible to be an awkward and shy extrovert? Now that I’m older and know me better I’ve found they don’t have my type of parties and I don’t have the money or connections to host them.

    Party of 1 lost in the dark sea of a fantastical unreality.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Erica. Thanks for stopping here and commenting. So many of us are confused about where we fit in: shy? extroverted but awkward? Introverted but friendly? I know that it takes effort to go to the party and not escape for the exit too quickly. 🙂 I found a way to get to your blog post but couldn’t comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you. You may be the second or third that have notified me on the commenting issue. Yay. It’s officially a problem. Something else to figure out. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

        Time may have made me an introvert by circumstance.

        Liked by 1 person

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  84. hey pam!! first off wow wow congrats on your new book!!!! that’s no small feat!!! i loved this post and have to admit i’m probably an extrovert during one on ones but with more people i’m definitely an introvert!

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