So many times in my youth I felt awkward, in so many ways. But I’ll start with the first indication that for my entire life I’d be …. awkward.
I began wondering why the heck I was “here,” as in in this world, by the age of 3. No one seemed to understand me, even though I figured out language skills early. I’d point to the elves dancing in the bushes outside our small one-story house, and my parents didn’t see them. In fact, they’d shake their head and say, “Pammy.” As if I was doing something wrong!
When I was finally allowed to dress myself, I wore my underwear with the frilly side in the front. Of course. My parents, and their friends, would shake their heads at me, laugh (which was even worse than frown), and say “Pammy…!” I was befuddled. What?! Then my mom tried to explain, “the frills go in the back.”
What good were frills if you couldn’t see them? To this day, and I’m six decades older than that early bewildering time, I still don’t get it.
I’d like to make a story about my awkwardness, but I just feel …. awkward doing so. I imagine most of us, new to this world when we were spanked into it, had a difficult time adjusting. I recently read a post in which a young mother bemoaned all the questions from her young child, like:
- Why does a clock have 12 spots and two “hands”? And why are those lines called “hands”?
- Why can’t I have dessert first, and why do birds not let you catch them?
- Why does the pet dog have fur, but not my parents?
- Why do I have to brush my teeth, when each tooth comes out for the tooth fairy anyway?
I love the questions children ask. They remind me of my own questions. If we can remember our childhood and our view of how crazy the world seemed, we’d be so much wiser. We’ve been cornered and squished into a box with four walls.
As a child, we knew our existence had no stops, starts, firsts, lasts, beginnings or endings. We knew that the air and the thoughts and the beings around us were limitless.
So . . . awkward? I felt awkward as I was forced to fit into the box of “normal thinking.” I suppose that’s why I love creative writing so much. This is one place I’m allowed to release the box and fly back out into the limitless space of imagination and the reality of reality – which is that reality does not exist.
How about you? Do you live with the frilly side up?
Such an amusing ode to childhood. I try to keep the frilly side up
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The good news is that we all survived childhood well enough to write about it. 😁
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I can always spot a person who is going through life with their frilly side down! Cute, Pam! xo
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Isn’t that the truth, Jill. And wouldn’t we like to tell them to
switch it around!
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I think as a child I felt more awkward because I’d rather spend time reading a book than doing anything else. But I still ask those questions–perhaps more since I started writing poetry. 🙂
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Yes I did the same with the reading, Merrill. And aren’t they great questions for a child as well as an adult!
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They are!
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team frilly side up!
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✋ High five! 😀
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Love this — yes to frilly and awkward. All day…every day.
Thanks for the morning smile! 🙂
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All day, every day, but it’s good to know we’re not alone in our frilliness. 😉
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Thanks for the smile today! 😉
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I think I live with the frilly side back because I have a big mouth, which draws enough attention
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Ha ha! Good decision, then. 😏
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😉
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Frilly side out is a great mantra!
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Ommmm to frilliness! 💚
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Frilly side out just makes sense. And also why were the frills there is we were supposed to cover them up?
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EXACTLY! Sometimes “grown-ups” just don’t make sense.
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That’s interesting, Pam. That all started by 3 yo? I was still in a muddle of middle child at that age. I’d say you found your way.
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I like the way I found – frills and all! And you survived the “muddle” fabulously. 🙂
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Since I’ve never really grown up, Pam…yeah, I’m still very much on the frilly side of things!
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Excellent! Here’s to never reaching our age!
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Good question. I can spot them. They often seem to find me and try to get me to join them, but my I know which side my frill belongs on.
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What a great response! Yes, we’re on “team front frill.”
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Hi Pam, your post made me giggle. I am definitely a frilly side to the front sort of girl and it wouldn’t bother me at all if everyone else wore the pants the other way around. A great story 💖
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I LOVE giggles. Cheers to our front frills. 🥂
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🥂
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I love this, Pam 🙂 Yes, I am a awkward, frilly side up kind of person too.
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I figured you were. We both see fairies and fairy dust all around us – often! 🙂
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Sadly, I never had frilly underwear. Maybe that’s something I need to remedy! Thanks Pam for the fun and frank reminders of why it’s good to let ourselves play, create, and fly free, especially as we mature. Kill the boxes! 😛
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Thanks for the smiling answer, Brad. There’s another bad thing about childhood – boys aren’t allowed to be frilly. RIDICULOUS. Frilly is so good for our creativity!
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Wonderful story! I love the questions children ask! Children are such a blessing to us. They live life in the moment. Imagination is key to a life well lived. And for as long as we live, we will need our imagination; life is always changing and we must create new ways for dealing with things. How beautiful to think outside the box and celebrate life to the fullest.
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Children are allowed to play and imagine – box free. I suppose it will take all of our adulthood to figure out how to get rid of the box around us and PLAY free again. With frills! Thanks, Linda ❤
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To me, the frills represent the question: Do you want to see, or be seen? I would rather enjoy and investigate frills, than to shake my frilly tush and hope it’s admired by others.
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Haha. Laughed out loud at your comment, Anneli. I hadn’t thought of that aspect of wearing frills in the front. I’m kind of shy, but I STILL want the frills in the front so that I (ME, MYSELF) can see them. And yes, I’d like to not think about anyone looking at my frilly tush. 🙂 🙂
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You’d be surprised how many people prefer to be seen rather than to see.
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Sad but true.
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How adorable, Pam. I love that you wore your frills in front. We have so many rules about things that don’t really matter, where conforming seems more important than imagination and exploration. Keep being yourself and keep all your frills where you can see them. ❤ ❤ ❤
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I just finished The Necromancer’s Daughter, and Aster would definitely agree with me and wear the frills in front. She’s not a frilly person in the sense of wanting attention for herself, but she’s her OWN person who will do things (and wear things) that suit her. She’s a wonderful character, Diana, letting go of (meaningless) rules.
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Thanks so much for the lovely reply, Pam. Aster is definitely her own person, though that gets her into trouble at times. 🙂 Yes, let’s continue to let go of meaningless rules, even at our age! A good thing to remember. Hugs, my friend. ❤ ❤
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Cute story, Pam. I’ve never been one for frills, but I do let my freak flag fly more often the older I get.
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Haha!! To freak flags and frilliness, whatever form they take. Hail fellow friend on this weird journey we are taking. 😃
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I definitely do! And yes, why can’t we have the dessert first has been my question… I did start having it first when I was alone at my home! 😀 A question that always haunted me and I never asked: why is moon walking with me and goes wherever I go!
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To one moon sister from another. The moon follows you because you shine so bright on earth!
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😄😊🤗 thanks
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Definitely the “frilly side” Pam! I was lucky having parents who let me enjoy my imagination as long as I minded my baby sister—I kept her entertained 🙂
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And oh how lucky your baby sister was! To our imaginations and frilliness. 💚
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Derrick mentioned your post as an “Ode to Childhood,” and I agree. However, I also see how you made the shift from awkward to awesome. Being different (aka quirky and vulnerable) serves us as writers well.
As you know, when I was plain I wanted to be fancy. “Frilly” would have been the ultimate goal for me. Love this, Pam! 😀
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You have a magnificent frilly and beautiful soul, Marian. Even when you dressed plainly, you were a shining soul that could not be covered up. Here’s to our quirky and awkward and fancy sides. May they always be front and center. ❤️
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There are so many examples of me having FRS (Filly Reversed Syndrome) That I finally got FRSD (Frilly Reversed Stress Disorder) and had to start writing to get relief. Super post. Pamela
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I cannot tell you how many times I have read your comment and laughed out loud. If only everyone knew to wear the frilly side in front they would avoid the stress disorder. But we all know how healing writing is! To frilliness and silliness and wonderful writing.
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You exhibit frilliness and silliness and wonderful writing.
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Kids always ask awesome questions.. I don’t remember wearing the frilly side in the front but that is a great question too!! I had frilly pants though! Why do adults always feel the need to suppress the creativity and imagination of children?
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Perhaps adults are jealous of children and their freedom, questions that can’t be answered, and imaginations!!
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What a fun post — and walk down memory lane. I was just imaginative and knew that I could make hamburgers out of clover, and build an airplane out of a log and a board and it would fly me anywhere. So much for imagination and innocence. I worry today that kids are so structured they don’t have these moments.
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Structure is a huge detriment to childhood creativity and imagination. Let them eat cake, read fun books, play in the sand, and make hamburgers out of clover!!
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Elves do dance in the bushes and frills are meant to be seen! Thank you for this important reminder!!
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I need to remind myself as well as others, Donna. I used to see the elves so clearly when a child. Now I make sure to rise before dawn and sit out on the front porch and watch them dance before “adulting” happens. 🙂
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When I was five years old, the neighbor who had a five-year-old son, worked near the school, so she volunteered to take both of us to kindergarten. According to my mom, the woman complained about me. When I told imaginative stories, she scolded me for lying. I wonder now if that discouraged my flights of imagination. Maybe I would have seen more elves and fairies if I’d stayed away from her. Especially fairies. I love fairies.
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Oh, Nicki, what a wicked woman that neighbor was! And unfortunately, as a child, I’m sure she made you feel like something was wrong with you … and your imagination. I think you found it as an adult. Your books and posts are proof of that.
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Frilly front and on the outside! Let’s be superfrillies . When I was small I wanted to know where my shadow slept…
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Ah, Mr. Peter Pan, I hope you found your shadow, perhaps resting in the closet? What a wonderful childhood memory. I try to put on my shadow every morning – so far the fit is good. Here’s to our superfrilliness!
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Hear hear
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“Frilly side up” you had me with the title, Pam. Thanks for all this fun. Hugs on the wing.
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I have no doubt that your frilly side is always up, Teagan. Thank goodlyness! ❤
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Really interesting. I remember a neighbor’s kid crying, because he’s shadow haunted him
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That poor child! I hope someone taught him that his shadow was and is a friend, always there for him (particularly when the sun is out!) 🙂
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I don’t think my mom would have let me get away with wearing the frilly side in front, which is probably why I rebelled like crazy when, as a teenager, I started making my own clothes 😉
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YES, our parents’ hampering of imagination definitely can lead to teenage rebelliousness. To the frilly side out – no matter our age!
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Creative writing is freedom indeed! (Although I had to learn to get the negative voices of previous teachers and college professors out of my head before I really experienced that. They gave me good grades, but they were VERY clear about what I could and couldn’t write.)
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I can’t tell you how many of my creative writing students (all adults) come to me cowering in fright because of how their (well-meaning) teachers made them structure their stories. They even made them write stories that made sense! In my classes, we let ‘er go and come up with the cleverest stories. Pure entertainment and fun, but also great therapy.
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From a very young age I hated being laughed at… which tells me that no way would I have dared to wear my frills out front. Sometimes I wonder if that fear of being laughed at curbed my creativity. And I was a gawky and gangly pre-teen with buck teeth… I was self-conscious enough already (thank goodness I was really good at sports – not too much creativity needed there).
As to kids and their questions… gotta love ’em!
Thank goodness we grow up and find where we fit…
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No kid likes to be made fun of. So yes, my frills were hidden after the age of 7 …. until the age of 50 on. 🙂 To being OURSELVES.
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This is true. Some are better at letting it roll off than others. 50 gives us so much freedom, doesn’t it? 🙂
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I see you writing a children’s book to answer some of their “awkward” questions ~ designed to fan the flames of limitless possibilities!
As for me, no frills. Never liked them.
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That sounds like a fun children’s book! I’m afraid parents wouldn’t like the answer I give the children in my book – because they’d be totally imagination and different from adults’ “reality.” Nancy, you may not like to wear frills, but you have a sweet frilly soul inside. xo
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I wonder if there is a correlation between being shaped/confined in early life and a wish to push one’s borders by writing?
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Good question, Roy. I’d guess YES. And believe me, it took a long time for me to push my borders in my writing. But how releasing!!!!
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So interesting about the frilly side of the panties. My oldest memory of those panties are that my walking doll had them. I think they were originally mine, but I gave them to the doll haha. I am sure there were a lot of times I was awkward, but I didn’t feel awkward. I think I had to grow up a little too soon, in fact. But where the awkwardness probably came in was that I found it very difficult to enter a new school or a new group or anywhere by myself.
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Oh, your lucky doll, getting your frilly panties! I hope they were frilly side in front. What a great memory. Yes, even as an adult I feel awkward when I enter a room where I know no one. But then we just power on, don’t we?
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Yes, but it’s tough sometimes.
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Nice
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Cute story Pam. Why not wear the frills in front so we can enjoy the view too? Lol 🙂 ❤
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I have a feeling you are definitely a frilly side in front kind of person, Deb!
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You are correct, lol ❤
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I’ve always been a square peg too, but in the opposite way – I demand that reality, even fictional reality, make ‘sense’. I totally with you about writing though; it /is/ freedom. 🙂
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I just finished a book by Anna Quindlen called “WRITE FOR YOUR LIFE.” You betcha!
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High Five!!!!
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Frilly side up. What a nice expression 🙂
And yes, I find writing therapeutic. Helps me express much more freely than speech.
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Thanks for the great comment. Here’s to “free” speech, and most particularly in our stories!
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Love this so much Pammy😍
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Thank you! Your comment made me smile. 🙂
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I always marched to the beat of my own drummer. I was seen as a little weird. But my mom and a small circle of friends seemed to get me so I was pretty happy.
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You were lucky. My parents were a little worried about me. I’d rather read inside than play, and I made up characters even at the age of 5. Nowadays, when someone calls me weird, I just say THANK YOU!
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“Weird” is a fine compliment. Non-weird people aren’t very interesting.
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Kids ask all the right questions. We get so trained into those jackets they give us, that we unlearn how to ask those questions! Stay weird, because now know I’m not alone!
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WEIRD is AWESOME! 🙂
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Good👍
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Thanks.
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I love this, Pam! It’s why I teach preschool and celebrate each child for who they are.
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And your preschool students are SOOOOOOOOOO lucky to have you. Makes me wish I was 4 again — if I was in your class. 🙂 xo
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Awww… that is so nice, Pam. Thank you!
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Delightful, and actually very thought-provoking for me. I do think I tend to stay inside the boxes, but this reminds me to wear my Frilly side out more often :-).
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Go for it, Elizabeth. Wearing the frills out in front is gutsy, but it’s worth it. 🙂 xo
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Interesting and engaging content here. Reading about your childhood was a bliss and it is funny that you used to wear an underwear in a frilly manner which is why I guess your parents shook their heads and laughed, we all make silly and funny mistakes when we are of a very tender age, when I was 8 I think, I used to love toys but I wasn’t playing with them I just tried to crack them open as if I was looking for treasures or something, haha😂😂 It was a police car my parent gave it to me. Anyways, back to this blog I can say yes I have seen a frilly side up in my childhood too😊
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Good for you, wearing your frilly side purposely and joyfully. I love your memories as a child. Hey, why shouldn’t that toy have a treasure inside? In cereal boxes back then, the did! Thanks for the fun comment.
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I really enjoyed reading this! LOL My frilly side is in the back. I’m trying to learn to wear it in front!
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Good luck! Although you may be uncomfortable at first. you’ll find you LOVE wearing the frilly side in front. 🙂
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I bet you were just the cutest little girl. All those questions kids ask, make sense. xo
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Hi Darlene – you know we were all cute when little girls. The good news is that we’re still cute in our “more mature” years – and we still ask lots of questions! 🙂
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My daughter calls me cute, which is so sweet. I will never stop asking questions, ever!!
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See? From one cutie to another. 😊
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I always enjoyed the kid’s questions. They are so honest . I rather see than being seen. No frills for me, well, maybe once or twice . I loved the story.
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Perhaps your cooking is what shows your frilly side up, Gerlinde. 🙂 xo
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We are such pure beings of limitless access to the world when we’re born, and before we’re “conditioned” by the world. As I move along in life, I, too, like being frillier … even if it’s just wearing pretty jewelry while working in my home office where no one will see me. Frilly girls, unite!!
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YES! That’s exactly the point. I wear frilly glittery earrings – the older I get, the glittery-er. 🙂 Let’s show off our joy!
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If all us outcasts who can’t seem to do anything right (even though we’re clearly usually right) got together and formed a clique we’d be the popular crowd. Of course you’d all be stuck with me.
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haha. Good point!
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