In the Upstairs Hallway

/ roughwighting

all you need is love, Beatles, Paul McCartneyI moved in with a man I’d known for 11 months with my two children, ages 2 and 4.

He was a confirmed bachelor.

I was a newly divorced, single mom vowing to never live with a man again.

And yet, here we were, in a new state across the country from where we met, starting a new life together, knowing no one. https://pixabay.com/users/waldhoersolutions-1994171/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=3602666, Pixabay

And what was scariest of all was that three weeks after we moved in together, my new man’s best friend, Bob, decided to fly from the East Coast for a visit. I had no doubt that Bob wanted, no needed, to see why his single sane engineer friend had suddenly lost his mind. Bob was a bachelor himself and had no intention of “settling down.”

On the day Bob arrived, I dressed both children in adorable, clean clothes, and they played perfectly with Bob for about 30 minutes until I could tell that was the limit for “Uncle Bob.”

https://pixabay.com/vectors/coffee-drinking-tea-vintage-woman-2024221/I sent the kids upstairs to play while we three adults sat like, well, adults, drinking coffee and chatting in the living room.

“Mom!” my sweet 4-year-old daughter shouted from upstairs.

“In a while, sweetie,” I responded.

“MOM!” she repeated, louder and with a note of panic in her voice. She was my calm child, usually placid and shy.

I jumped up and noted with a bright smile, “I’ll be right back!” and raced up the stairs.

My 2¼-year old son, almost potty-trained, had not only poopfamily photos, digital, toddler,ed in his diaper, but had taken said diaper off and then finger painted his brown creation on the hallway walls.

“Everything okay up there?” my new man asked, calling from the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh, everything is fine,” I shouted with fake merriment. “You and Bob just relax. I’ll be down in a second.”

Thirty-nine years later, my “new man” still doesn’t know what happened in the upstairs hallway.

115 thoughts on “In the Upstairs Hallway”

  2. OMG! A good one. I moved in with a man along with two kids and a dog. He wasn’t a confirmed bachelor but was 5 years younger than me. I’m sure he often wondered what he got himself into. (there are things he doesn’t know about either!) 46 years later and we’re still good.

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  13. I got a little twitchy when I read these words: “MOM!” she repeated, louder and with a note of panic in her voice,” knowing there was trouble ahead. The ending was unexpected. . . and so sweet!

    Now I wonder does Hubby know?

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  19. Wonderful story!!! I really enjoyed this one. I have two grandsons at those ages now…They are little such a short while, but oh, the stories we can tell! I especially liked that you had them all dressed -up in adorable clothes!!! Isn’t it always the way? My two granddaughters and my two grandsons were in a wedding this past summer. My son said, “Better take a picture…they can’t stay in these outfits long!” (This is especially true when the kids are eating cake.) 🙂

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  25. Haha! We all have a few of those secrets. “Uncle Bob, let me show you the kids’ latest artwork.” That’s one way to send the confirmed bachelor on his way.

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    • Haha. If I was unkind (or didn’t want to keep up that friendship), I could have shown off the artwork. As it is, the secret was safe and Bob married not long after – my guy and I attended his wedding, and we still see Bob and his wife often. See? Secrets aren’t a bad thing at times. 🙂

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  27. What a good story! Does your husband read your blog? Did Uncle Bob ever get married?

    My first daughter did the writing on the wall thing from her crib when we were staying over at my mom’s house.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My husband read this post yesterday and chuckled. “Why’d you keep it a secret?” he asked. At the time, it seemed wise. Yes, Bob reads my posts on LinkedIn. He married two years after we did, and my guy and I see Bob and his wife often. ❤

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  28. Pam, thanks for giving us a glimpse into your life. How well I remember those potty training days. One of my sons used the wall behind the crib to share his “artwork”. If you get a chance this weekend, why not join in my recipe exchange?🎄

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  29. I am always eager to read your posts, especially your fictitious stories, Pam and was surprised to read that this was a memoir more than fiction. Thanks for sharing your secret. 🙂 It brought a warm smile to my heart.

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  32. Oh my goodness! What a great share. I was going to say he’s a keeper (duh) but he didn’t even know (till now, of course)! I love when you share these stories, Pam 🙂

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    • It was fun watching him read this for the first time after I posted the story. It would not have made a difference at the time, but for me, I wanted to try to keep the dirty messes under the rug for a while, let’s say. 😏

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  41. Pam,
    Just read your blog early this morning!!! Isn’t it fun to just look back on events in our lives and laugh!! Jeffrey had twin girls in his 3 year old nursery school. The twins mother said she had to put the girls in Dr. Dentins but she zipped them up in the back because they did the same thing with their poop. That didn’t stop them… they unzipped each other’s pajamas. Have a great day!!! Miss you!!

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  43. Hi Pam! I left a comment a few minutes ago but WP bumped me off and I’m not sure what happened to the comment! This is quite a story and I’m sure if it comes out what happened, that everything will be okay 😉 🧡🧡🧡

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  44. Fantastic story, Pam. And a real one too. Also funny how you kept this story hidden for so long. And reading your comments, amazing both your husband and Bob read your blog! Maybe you have more of these stories to tell 😄 Hope you are doing well ❤

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    • Hi Mabel. Oh yessss, I have more secrets hidden in my closet. They’re fun to release them a little at a time. Nothing bad, just crinch-worthy at the time. 🙂 Happy December to you! ❤

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  45. That story tickled me to no end. I got so tickled, I forgot to leave a comment. At that age, my son could be equally unpredictable even though he was normally well behaved. They seem to pick the most inappropriate moments to act out. You found a real keeper. I’d bet if you had shared the story after Bob left, he would have had a good laugh with you.

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    • Oh, I’m sure you’re right, Marlene. My guess is that by the time Bob left, I was putting out another ‘fire.’ My toddler son never stopped, and usually was going 55 mph on his tiny feet. 🙂 He’s kind of the same now, only on a bike or a snowboard. Thanks for enjoying my “potty” story. 🙂 🙂

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  50. Great story. this sounds too true to be made up, Pam. We had a neighbor that used to lock her kids in the bedroom and the one figner painted with his poop.. I think that was the last time she locked them in after that. 😹

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    • I promise this story is 100% true and real. Locking a child up in his room kind of asks for a poopy response. :-0 My son (now 43) was an artist until he turned 15, then decided a finance career would be more profitable. 🙂

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