“The contract will be ready to sign at 3, darling. I’m sorry it’s taken so long. But my dear, it’s here. The owner is ready for you to add your signature to his, he wants you to….”

“Ummm,” I interrupt on the phone in my normal elegant manner. “Uh, I don’t….”

“You don’t want to start the first of the month, my friend. I understand that.” The Persian-born realtor spoke deep-accented and swiftly, interspersing her words with endearments that made me blush.

“So my sweet being,” she continues. “No worries. The start date is the middle of the month. Just hop in that cute little car of yours in an hour, and we’ll see you…”

“But 3 o’clock doesn’t quite work,” I explain, expanding my voice more authoritatively. Then I squeak out, “4?”

“My love, my sweet beauty, 4 is too late for the owner. He’s gone by 4. He drove all this way just to meet you and sign the contract.”

I imagine that the realtor’s large darkened eyebrows move closer together, her lips beginning to pout.

“I know, I’m sorry,” I sigh, “but I have this other appointment. Three o’clock is difficult.”

“Deeficult?” Oh my, now her eyebrows are probably on top of her forehead. “You have been calling me twice a day for this property. You have pleaded and begged and, little one, my good good friend, I’ve worked for you, I’ve made this happen for you, my love. Three o’clock, you be here. Yes?”

I first met this woman two weeks ago, so I’m flattered that I’m now her good good friend. Are we close enough, in the kingdom of female friendship, for me to tell her why 3 o’clock is impossible?

“Azra,” I whisper, praying that I’m saying her name correctly. “Azra, I’ve needed a manicure for 15 days now. FIFTEEN days! My fingernails are ragged. This deal has devastated my nail beds, not to mention my cuticles.”

Silence.

Have I gone too far?

“Darling.  Why didn’t you say so? Of course you must get your nails fixed. I’ll hold him off, Mr. Big Owner. I’ll ply him with cookies and whatever. You come, with gleaming nails. I’ll see you at 4, my pretty sweet pea.”

I hang up the phone with a smile and think of Audrey Hepburn.

“I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and… I believe in miracles.” Audrey Hepburn

TO MY READERS: I’ll miss next week’s post, due to contractual obligations (re: a move) and a week at the New Jersey ‘shore.’ If you miss my rough wighting, Travel to the Ocean with me (https://roughwighting.net/2011/08/25/traveling-to-the-ocean/)  Happy Beaching!