I already know! he defiantly says
Filling me with “mother-of-teenager” dread
After one hour of instructed driver’s ed
My boy’s natural coordination goes to his head.
My memories aren’t fond of when I learned to drive
I’ll never forget how my dad broke into hives
When I pumped the accelerator instead of the brake
Dad lost his cool, and for hours I cried.
Day after son gets his permit I rise from bed
Give him the keys and make sure he is fed
Sit in the passenger seat, my eyes straight ahead
“See? This is easy,” he actually says.
But, son sees a friend – cockily high fives
Radio loud, hips dancing a jive
Steering wheel rocks toward the big ditch I spy
Son squeals, too late; I close my eyes.
Immensely relieved we’re both still alive.
Brought back memories of teaching my eldest…can ‘see’ clearly the high rise pavement hit so hard the wheel broke…first and last time in her presence I swore…I paid for lessons thereafter!
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Ohhhh, my! Sorry, had to smile at this. In hindsight, paying for driving lessons is much less expensive than the alternative!
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My poor dad, I still remember him trying to teach me to drive and I’m sure I was responsible for his early hair loss! I paid for my daughter to have lessons but we still had some interesting experiences as she practised with me beside her. Great poem. Glad you were both OK.
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Years later, the stories are fun to retell. At the time – a bit painful. :-0
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Loved it. Laughing. Nostalgia.
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Nostalgia, true. Seems sweeter now, those times.
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oh, i’ve been there )
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…and survived to tell. 🙂
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Yikes! Thankfully my experiences were not like this. The first night our younger daughter had the car after she got her license, a deer jump out in the road in front of her. She stopped in time, and no one was behind her, so everything was fine–and I didn’t hear about it until later that night.
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Phew. Your daughter was lucky (as was the deer). And that experience probably stayed with her for a long time, assuring careful driving.
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Yes, she’s a good driver. 🙂
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I am relieved too Ute! ❤
Diana xo
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You’re not Ute haha, sorry about that, hers is the next post I’m about to read. Happy Friday. 😉
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You’re funny. I need to find Ute! Always enjoy going over to your blog. xo
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haha thank you for your graciousness. ❤
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I’m glad you lived to share the story with us, Pam. 🙂 I never could learn to drive a stick shift.
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Stick shift is not my forte. When I was 22 I owned a Mini Mazda Miata . Tried to learn stick on it. Stripped the gears by week 2. :-0
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Oh my! A Mini Mazda Miata was my dream car in my 2o’s, Pam. 🙂
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Mine was mustard yellow. I called her Hot Dog. 🙂
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LOL! Great name!
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We’re currently in the permit phase with our youngest so this post is near and dear to my heart. So far so good for us. Knock on wood!
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I send you blessings and reams of good luck. Ummm, you’re going to need it. 🙂
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He had the radio on?
My dad didn’t let me talk or chew gum or listen to the radio or wave to friends or do anything but drive when he was teaching me. “No distractions” until after I had my license.
At the time, he seemed too paranoid.
Now I’m not so sure he didn’t have the right idea.
Especially with the teeny tiny attention spans that most people seem to have these days.
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I think your dad definitely had the right idea. I got more strict – once we got out of that ditch.
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I see from the comments that your son is now a dad . . . the circle of life!
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So true – in 13 years or so I want to be in the back seat when my son teaches HIS boys to drive. Wellll, maybe not. ;-0
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The angst of watching our teens drive for the first time. Glad they have driver’s education.
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Angst is the perfect word! But even now, I cringe when one of my (adult) children drive. I like to say, ‘you didn’t learn this from me!’
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Oh dear. A true story? My daughter had a minor encounter with a guardrail as a young driver. I was actually thankful because she learned a major lesson that day. Hang on tight, Pam.
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Completely unabridged true story – but one that happened a number of years ago. My son now has three little boys – I can’t wait to watch him teach THEM how to drive in 14 years or so. 🙂
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Ah, yes. The generational payback!
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It’s worth it to pay for driving school!
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Without a doubt!
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I dread the day when my son gets his driving permit.
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Dread away. It was harder than I thought, but at least I have a poem to unleash on my son now, from time to time. tee hee
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😀
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Oh yikes!! I did not like that stage of my children learning to drive at all. Really one should be given some great award for enduring it all. Hope you are both all right and that he learned a lesson from it all.
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Driving with our newly-permitted children is one of those things they don’t warn us about as new parents. My son learned a quick lesson that day, and I think he became a better driver because of it. Me? Just a few more wrinkles… :-0
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Yes I hear you about those wrinkles! 🙂
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One of those moments I liked the least…:) glad it’s over.
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For sure. That and Halloween – I hated trying to figure out what the kids would wear for Halloween.
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My older brother taught me to drive – he was the one who turned the radio up loud and waved to his friends. It was very off-putting for me, but I survived 😉
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At first I was going to say, ‘what a brave brother,’ but on second thought, I think YOU were the brave sister!
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In Germany you don’t get driving permits, you go to driving school which I barely passed. My dad was sweet as always when I came home with the first dent on his car.
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Your dad was SO sweet. My guy – let’s just say I’m the one who took our kids for those driving lessons because his blood pressure couldn’t take it. Hope you are dent-free now. xo
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Nope, still make dents and my husband doesn’t like it at all.
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I can imagine! I find it endearing. 🙂
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Oh my! To think that a driving challenge like this can be put into poetry. I am beside myself in admiration for your writing skills. 🙂
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You are making me blush. Funny how angst (whether from teen driving lessons or counting new gray hairs) can lead to fast-flash poetry. This one rushed from my pen in about 10 minutes! (But, I admit, lots of drafts after…) xo
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Funny poem Pam, though I’m sure it wasn’t so funny at the time! I hated learning to drive and I haven’t actually driven now for a few years.
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Driving is like parenthood – it’s not for everyone. Interestingly, in our culture, everyone is expected to drive. Good for you, knowing it’s not ‘your thing.’
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That was very entertaining – to read if not to live through. I didn’t take my test till I was in my late forties and it was when we lived in Spain and I was nowhere near fluent in Spanish. I had some hilarious moments because neither my instructor nor my examiner had a word of English.
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Now THAT’S some story – learning to drive in a different country with a different language. Yikes. You are much braver than I am. Hope it wasn’t a stick shift!!
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It was a shift stick or gear stick as we say here. That wasn’t too much of a problem as I was fine with the mechanics of driving – it was everything else that bothered me. I wasn’t at all brave, just desperate! lol.
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Amazing how desperate can help us get the job done. 🙂
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This poem was clever and great payback for the ditch episode. My youngest daughter when able to finally (2nd time) pass her license test, I allowed her to take two friends about 3 miles down the road for ice cream. She had a green light and was turning left. She looked both ways and a car came out of a beer drive-through and hit her. I felt bad and when my husband, at the time was mad, I offered to take girls for ice cream. Daughter was crying and asked if we could just go home.
Pam, I refused to get a lawyer. It took a large poster and my hand-drawn diagram to display daughter was actually not guilty. She was on the road and he was clearly not. He had to pay for damages and judge got ticket given to daughter revoked. Wish the police officer had actually been there as I gave a triumphant smile. 🙂
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Ah, the wrath and protectiveness of a mother can defeat all odds. Yay for you, defending your daughter and proving her innocence. Love this.
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I just learned that if you wait until you’re 18 years old you don’t have to take a driver’s ed course. (At least in the state of New Hampshire.) I don’t know how any adult manages to not suffer sever anxiety attacks having to teach kids to drive. Your poem is a perfect reflection of that!
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“Severe anxiety attack” is a good description. On the other hand, the parent needs to seem calm, cool and collected. HA! I’m amazed that NH doesn’t require drivers after 18 to take any driver’s ed course. Gives a whole new meaning to the state’s motto: ‘Live free or die.’ :-0
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I wonder what it will be like teaching my son. Phew!
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Well, mainly I wish you lots of luck…!! 🙂
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Enjoyed the poem except the ditch part. I’ve read all the comments and it seems that most commenters have their share of driving tales.
My son and my daughter had, I think, a hand or foot up. Our property is an acre and they learned to drive a battery powered Go-Kart that each of them drove daily when they were 8-10 years old. Then my son had a dirt bike and he drove on a track in the country. My parents farm was the best of all. My dad let them drive a tractor(with him standing behind on the tractor drawbar). Then he let each of them drive an old car in an open field. They learned all the basics and had a good grasp for steering, braking, turning, etc. When they each turned 16 they took the driver’s test and easily passed. That was in the 80’s and teens could get what was called “hard luck” driver’s license or what ever, if they needed to drive to get to a job after school.
On the other hand getting careless when driving a machine/vehicle that does not allow for errors can get you killed or badly injured. After my son was critically injured when he over turned with the ATV, that vehicle had a different meaning. When he was able to talk he said, “but I’ve been driving an ATV since I was 12 years old. But it really doesn’t matter about how well you can handle any motorized vehicle. What matters is to not take anything for granted and to drive responsibility. Bottom line is that one lapse in judgement can result in disaster
I’m sorry this comment is so long. For some reason I have time to be “wordy.”
PS: My son is doing very well except for depression and needing speech therapy. Some days he speaks very well and other days he has a problem pronouncing some words.
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As a writer, I’m honored that my poem elicited a long response from you. I’m SO happy to hear that your son is still improving (last I read about him was in the late March comment section of your blog). Hope his mood and speech improve; he’s certainly come a long way!
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Thanks, Pam.
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Priceless!
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That’s my description for YOU. xo
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Gosh this took me back to my daughters learning to drive. You packed into that poem quite a bit of the anxiety I remember, I can still feel it.
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Thank you Hilary. I think that’s what’s so great about poetry. We can bring forth all of our angst/joy/anxiety/love/fear from an experience using a few words on some lines.
Now, I haven’t been brave enough to show this poem to my son yet. I think I may wait for 13 years or so until it’s HIS turn with HIS boys.
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Ugh. In less than six years I will be the one breaking into hives.
Maybe I can get my son all environmental by then so he’ll be happy to ride his bike everywhere forever.
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Good luck with that, Mike. I think you have a better chance of getting your son one of those cars that drive themselves. Ha ha.
But actually, you two will make a great ‘learning to drive’ team. I already prophesize that you’ll end up writing a book about it (Mitch Albom style). It will become a national bestseller.
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I’m OK with this — provided the title of said book isn’t “The First Phone Call From Heaven”.
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Always, always you make me smile…
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Yikes! My driving experience was always ok. I did get into an accident less than 6 months after I got my license but no one was hurt. I tried to negotiate a curve going to fast and ended up in a ditch also. I taught my daughter to drive. She did pretty well too and I didn’t have any anxiety attacks! LOL!
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I thought anxiety attacks and driving lessons were a given! LOL back to ya. 🙂
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I’m smiling…remembering those days, long past and having, like you, survived them. 🙂
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Survival is payback, as is poetry about it on blogs. 🙂
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🙂
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We survived it with four kids. One is now 26 and the other three are 19. They’ve each had little “incidents” but nothing major, thank heavens. Drivers ed was interesting to say the least. I wish you well through this educational period where your experience and expertise will be under-appreciated. Oh, by the way, one of our sons has hit two deer and had a speeding ticket after not slowing down quickly enough after going around a drunk driver. All innocent mistakes. The deer made out better than his vehicle. He’s slower now and watches for deer.
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And I bet your son taught that deer to watch out for him! 🙂 I’ve been enjoying getting to know you and your family through your blog posts, from shepherding dogs to a busy empty nest. FUN.
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Thanks so much. I’m enjoying getting to know you, too. You won’t believe this but one of the triplets, our daughter called from college in Western NC yesterday to say she had a wreck. She started crying harder when she said, “I hit a cop.” After I assured her as long as she’s safe, and everybody else is, that’s the important thing. I also said, “How can I fuss at you when I hit a dump truck myself. It happens.”
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Oh noooooooooo. Well, at least she didn’t have to CALL a copy to report the accident. :-0 But I agree – if our kids aren’t hurt, we let out a whoosh and nothing else really matters.
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Haha – it takes nerves of steel! Thankfully my husband has taught our kids to drive. 3 down and 1 to go!
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Your husband has nerves of steel within the steely lessons of teaching your kids to to drive a vehicle of …steel. Good for him!
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Oops…another kind of learning curve I guess! 😉
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I’m so glad I have a few years to wait until we have to face this horror. That said, our eldest is 12 so it’s not a long way off. I think he can get his learner’s at 16. The kids didn’t need to Google that, even though I’d conveniently forgotten!
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