Winging It

/ roughwighting

https://pixabay.com/photos/pelican-flying-wings-birds-3611850/We’re told by philosophers to “live one day at a time.” To not worry about the future nor think about the past. These admonishments ring true, but that’s not how we humans seem to be wired.

I often hear family and friends reminisce: “remember when we…,” and “I wish we still could…”

 Conversely, I hear, “In a few years, I’m afraid I won’t be able to….” Or “what will happen if…?”

I used to do this useless worrying also, but thanks to meditation and, as Carl Jung would suggest, my current stage of life, I find it easier to release the past and the future (of which we have no control anyway) and live one day at a time. Kauia, Kauai sunset, Hawaiian sunset, short days, aging

Jung suggests that we live four stages of life, starting with the sunrise (childhood); then as the sun rises higher, youth; middle life at the highest peak of the sun; and then old age (sunset).

Well, gosh darn it, my sunset is as bright as a red rubber ball, slowly descending into the ocean. Red-yellow and as strong as positive energy.

So, how do I get from this metaphysical meandering to one of the best days of my summer of 2023?

My guy and I flew to California during the hot New England July, returning our CA grandson after he visited us for 10 days. He didn’t need our chaperoning, but we appreciated his company and his stack of cookies (for the long flight).

On our first full day of vacation, we listed a dozen things we should do, and instead decided to just “wing it.”

on the dock of the bay, Tiburon CA, Sam's Cafe“Winging it” goes along with living one day at a time. My guy and I walked past the old arks, now unique stores; past the S.F. Bay and the Yacht Club; and past the tiny condos that cost millions of dollars. We began the steep climb up the beautiful island of Belvedere where the rich live, their 3-level tiered homes viewing the city, the Bay, and the boats scattered on the sparkling water.

We ignored their gated front doors. Instead, we focused on the hike, the small winding streets surrounded by eucalyptus trees rooted in the slanted dirt and bright bougainvillea climbing over old rock walls.

Belvedere Island, California view,We listened to the sparrows’ cheeps and the hummingbirds’ whispery buzz. When we neared the height of the island, the view opened to the Pacific Ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge.

We gasped at the dozens of pelicans soaring over the Bay and at times, over us. They tilted their wings in recognition of fellow souls who were “winging it.” pelicans, SF Bay

We were winded as we winged it, our leg muscles tight from the exertion, our lungs expanded, and our joy widening to fill the hills and the sea and the sky.

Despite doing nothing “special,” this was the best day of our summer.

I agree with Swedish gerontologist Lars Tornstam’s assessment of this time of life: “There is . . .  a feeling of cosmic communion with the spirit of the universe and a redefinition of time, space, life and death.”

Or, in other words, winging it with grace and gratitude.

CA weather, NE weather, peligansOne day at a time.

 

 

 HOW DID YOU “WING IT” THIS SUMMER?

98 thoughts on “Winging It”

    • Frank – I missed my seashore walking this summer and use YOUR blog and videos to give me the sense of it. I think when we use our imaginations (and wing it in whatever way) we at least get close to that pot of gold.

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  4. Pam, I guess I always consider winging it accepting plan B. This summer my husband had bypass surgery. I definitely had to go with Plan B. I also had agreed to co-chair a Charity Golf Outing and it went off on the hottest day of the year that summer. I also had to go with Plan B when women starting canceling this participation. The funny thing is, I have learned over and over again that when I am presented with Plan B, I am always surrounded by wonderful friends who help me navigate the change in plans. There truly are angels in the world.

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    • “Plan B” yes, another way of winging it – perhaps out of desperation as well as need, but if we have friends and guardian angels by our side, we can make it all fly!! (Thanks so much, Bernadette. I hope your husband is recovering comfortably.)

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  7. I’m a born planner so winging it doesn’t come easy for me but I’m getting better. But living one day at a time can backfire. On one of my visits back to Canada, I decided not to overplan and live one day at a time. While I was visiting my granddaughter and her family, I got a text from my daughter, who lives in another province. “When are you coming to visit me, or are you going to just show up?” Oops. I forgot to let her know my plans to visit her on her island, which requires some organizing. Sometimes you do need to look ahead, especially if it involves another person. We laughed about this later. Your special day sounds wonderful.

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  8. I’m with Ally. Cheers to you for letting the time unfold – unscheduled. It’s a shift I see occurring in myself and I like it! I’ve always been the one who focuses so much on the destination that I skip by good stuff along the way, just as you described the beautiful discoveries – birds, bougainvillea and more. Thanks for taking us along, Pam. 🥰

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  10. Hi Pam – this is an important mindset because both worrying about the future and being too reminiscent about the past can take over our daily thoughts. Living this way requires a lot of mental exercise, though. Your “winging it” trip to California sounds wonderful – and look how much you experienced!

    By the way, I smiled when I read your line about the sun shining “like a red rubber ball.” I have a vivid memory of a family car trip during the 60s when that song came on the radio. I can still see my older sister singing along!

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    • Thanks for your comments, Barbara. You’re right, it does take some work to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future. Meditation really helps me.
      And when I began to write about sunrise and sunset, I knew I had include the song, Red Rubber Ball. I’m so glad it brought a great memory to you. I remember being in a church group probably late middle school or early high school and watching a friend‘s older sister flirt with a boy while this song played. It seared in my mind of how to flirt! 🩷

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      • Oh, how timely! My family of ten spent the week on the beach near Ventura as we have done for 21 years. We usually wing it enjoying whatever weather, sea life, surf, food, and beverage is available. This year it was Hurricane Hilary heading directly towards us. After contacting owners who were in New York how to proceed, we battened down the hatches and kept watch not wanting to desert the ship. Unfortunately for the desert folks, the storm turned and we had light rain instead of predicted hurricane. Feeling lucky!

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    • I know you wing it every day and you do such a good job of it! The Marin headlands are amazing. My son bikes there often, which is rather scary for a mother, but he has taken us on his bike route to see those incredible views.

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  13. There are times when “winging it” works best, and other times when it’s not wise. The important thing is having the wisdom to know when winging it is a good thing to do. Looks like you’ve got that figured out. What a beautiful day you had.

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  14. Learning to “wing it” is one of the gifts of age and experience, Pam. It’s something I’m getting better at these days. Just letting go and enjoying the moment. So easily said and yet it involves intention and practice. I’m better at it during vacations (which probably explains why vacations are so fun). The trick for me is to approach every day as if I’m on vacation. Hugs.

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  15. Hi, Pam – This is a beautiful post, and very timely for my husband and me. Winging it is our preferred form of travel and is one of the reasons that we like Caminos so much. And, as we have just experienced ‘the Camino that wasn’t meant to be,’ winging it proved not only important but essential!

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  17. I absolutely loved hearing about your ‘best day of summer’. It sounds so wonderful. Our ‘perfect days’ and moments are often not planned to a T. I think staying open to the possibilities unfolding, instead of planning every minute of every day is so important. They say, ‘good things happen to those who wait’. Good things also happen when our hearts are open to the joy in our midst, and in the guise of the ‘everyday’.

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    • My guy, who loves to ask silly questions, would respond to someone who says “we have everything planned to a T,” … “ why can’t you have it planned to a W, or an R? …”
      His questions are fun and silly, but they do make us wonder. What exactly is planning something to a T? Or is it to a tea? Ha ha. Yes your point, and my point is that sometimes it’s pure joy to have no plan at all. 💖

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  18. I love sunset, Pam. Donald Reagan wanted his CA home memorial service with his coffin facing (head toward…?) sunset. I love hearing about your trip at SF Bay area. It sounds wonderfully relaxing. Just enjoy the moment, winging it is the best way of living our lives. I’m getting more and more into that mindset these days. Thank you for sharing this profound insight, Pam!

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    • You kind of did some winging it when you decided to move. (another blogger below, Barbara, Rogers, did the same thing when she and her husband moved to a different state recently to be near their grandchildren .) It was a big time flight for both of you. And so worth it. I’m smiling about the idea of a coffin facing toward sunset. I’m going to wing it when I’m gone and just let my ashes fly through the sky.

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      • That’s a thought, Pam! My sister’s ashes were scattered in a garden. Another two relatives’ were scattered in the ocean. Not too many people go to the graveyard, especially when they move away. I try to think about what I want to do.

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  19. Winging it with grace and gratitude – I love it, Pam. And I love the SF waterfront so I your wanderings are resonant with fun memories for me too. What I love about your approach is that you can’t be late if there isn’t nowhere specifically that you are going. Thanks for sharing this day and inspiration!

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    • My family and I lived in the San Francisco Bay area for 20 years, so this is a favorite spot. Been away for over eight years but really miss it. And I laughed at your being late quote. Never thought of it that way, but it certainly would help me since I’m never on time when I’m supposed to be on time. 🙄

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  20. There’s a saying: (Wo)man plans, God laughs. For me, it’s fine to have a plan, but I need to recognize that the plan is flexible and may simply fall apart.

    On looking back over the plans I’ve made in my life that haven’t worked out, I’ve found that plan B, or winging it, was the better course of action. I like to believe that things happen the way they’re meant to. It gives me a sense of security and I like that feeling.

    The way you spread your wings is always an inspiration to me, my friend. ❤

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    • You have really made me think back to my plan A’s, and then my Plan B’s, Amy, and I see what you mean. My Plan B‘s usually are better! Particularly when it wasn’t even a plan. 😳🤗

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  22. I tend to be one of those “what if” worriers, though I’ve gotten better about letting that go with age.

    Some of my best trips have been made up on the fly. I’d say that’s a lot easier when it doesn’t involve children—certainly one of the perks of retirement.

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  23. I loved how you walked past the gated mansions and noticed all the important things around you. Winging it is bravery + happiness. I wing it with children, because what they are doing and noticing is far more important. Thank you for this wonderful post; it put a smile on my face. I haven’t heard “Red Rubber Ball” in decades. I still knew the words. Best to you, Pam.

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  24. Your metaphysical meanderings always lead to a delightful conclusion, wowing me with your wisdom. Now I understand Jung’s sunrise/sunset metaphor a little better.

    I’m certain you are happier than many of the folks that live in Belvedere. And I’m glad you found a lovely day, “winging it” with your man and that clever grandson.

    On mornings when I can eat breakfast on the lanai, I enjoy watching birds “winging it, ” their wings whispering as they come in for a lake landing, splashing down to frolic with their avian friends. Lovely post, Pam! 😀

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    • Birds can certainly teach us a lot about winging it Marian! Great observation. I also love to watch the birds – particularly the finches and the Cardinals and the woodpeckers and others – particularly early in the morning when no one else is around. I never knew until these early morning observations that they play during their flying! May our winging it always be a type of playing as well. 🦅

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  27. The Lars Tornstam quote resonates deeply with me. Your meandering day in San Francisco sounds amazing! I guess you could say we winged it by moving, with open hearts, 600+ miles away from home to be near the grandchildren, putting all our stuff in a Pod, having no idea where exactly we would wind up or what life would be like after so thoroughly uprooting ourselves. It’s been a grand unplanned adventure still unfolding!

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  30. This brought up all kinds of thoughts that rumble around my little pea brain. I love winging it. It fits nicely between the plans I’ve made. Each morning, I take fountain pen in hand and write my morning page as per Julia Cameron. I only have time for one, not three. I write out a detailed list of what I plan or hope the day will bring and most certainly, by the time my feet hit the floor for a second cuppa, the plans have all gone in the bucket. A phone call or text, a reminder on my calendar will tell me that just isn’t going to happen today becomes the norm. I can hear God laugh at my audacity. Winging it or going with the flow is so much easier than trying to stick my vision of today. If there is a social engagement that is on offer, cleaning out the closet will wait another day…or two. 😉 When we realize there is really no past or future, now had better be a really good option. I love how you spent your day. The very best kind there is. Plans are for flights, respectfully showing up for appts., or friends and family. The rest should be on wings of love and peace of mind. You chose well.

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    • “Plans go in the bucket..”” haha. Perhaps that’s where plans are meant to be. But yes, of course, we need those plans for our everyday life. But sometimes, we should consider our lives more special than “everyday,” and just wing it …. HIGH!

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  31. Amazing and brilliant blog post my friend. I absolutely love the title of this blog “WINGING IT” because it is relevant to life overall. We as people need to just live life one day at a time without worrying about the future and letting go of the past because we cannot control those factors. Also, nice pictures there, they are as bright as a red rubber ball🔥🙏

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  32. I am, by nature, a “winger” or is it “winging-it-er”? You have to plan, say, the flights and times I get way (since I’m still a working stiff and have only so many vacay days which I must request). But after that? No plans whatsoever! Your vacation sounds perfect to me 🙂

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  33. This sounds so perfect – good for you!! Carl Jung was a wise man. I see so many memes, postings about the only moment we truly have is “the now” – Echart Tolle, another big one on this. Reminds us to be present, conscious, and happy. Sounds like you’re doing great!

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  35. My Mum was a worrier. She worried about everything, especially things she had absolutely no control over. I think that’s why I grew up with the attitude that I had to deal with the things I could deal with…and not worry about the ones out of my control. Doesn’t always work, but it has allowed me to notice the beauty in the here and now.
    I believe there is a reason so many of us dream that we are flying. 🙂

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  36. What a great post Pam. I definitely need a day or week of winging it.Life has been so busy for me. I created it , I take responsibility for it but I need to learn to relax in my sunset years.

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    • Haha “I take responsibility for” over scheduling. Yes, I do that do. That’s why we need vacations when we aren’t on a schedule and can forget all of the “must do’s” and just DO. And BE. I have a feeling you’re good at that as well, Gerlinde.

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  38. Pam, some of my best adventures, best days have been those where we decided to ‘wing it’ – just seeing where the road, life takes us! I love your heavenly first day and oh, to see the beauty of so many pelicans and just happen upon the view of Golden Gate Bridge! For the past couple of months hubby and I have taken a day a week to ‘mooch’ around a place, nothing specific in mind – in the process discovered a Roman cirucs in the nearby town – how did I not know?! Amazing and such an incredible sense of history.

    Now, hands up, I am the only one to look up the meaning of gerontologist!

    Here’s to ‘winging it with grace & gratitude’, my friend! hugs xx ❤️

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    • That’s a great “routine” for you and your guy – to explore someplace in your neck of the woods each week. We do that on weekends but tend to stay near the areas we most love. Exploring is necessary for good winging! 🙂

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