The Bed Post

monster,  nightmareI wake up in a strange room, sleeping in a strange bed, watching strange shapes shift near me, throwing shadows on the sheets. I do what any decent, imaginative, middle-aged woman would do – I scream bloody murder.

My man, however, does not understand my night terror. From his perspective, he is awakened suddenly, frighteningly, and unnecessarily by his wife, who has been sleeping in the same bed with the same man for the past, well, many many years.

But I have been away for almost a week with friends and family on the other coast. So, naturally, on the first night I return, I wake up at 1:14 a.m., screaming my head off.

“Wha’s the madder?” my guy asks groggily, sitting up stiffly, as if a five-headed monster is headed our way.

“Where am I?” I ask, breathlessly. I am still stitting bolt upright, mouth open and ready to scream again, staring at the figure looming beside me. “What’s that?” I ask with alarm, still not sure where I am.

“The bed post,” he answers unhappily. Then he curls back up in bed.bedpost, nightmare

“Where am I?” I ask again, still partly asleep, looking around wildly.

Where you belong,” he says softly, sweetly, as he snores back into his dream.

16 thoughts on “The Bed Post

  1. He’s lucky. My nightmares usually involve a well-placed slug on his face. Sounds like the witches of the East coast are at it again! Peace, baby!


  2. Oh, I love this. I love the deadpan “Where you belong.” I’m always a fan of words and phrases that have multiple layers of meaning like this one does. Well done! 🙂


  3. “where you belong”…oh, how sweet, roughwighting. You man must, indeed, know how to comfort you at least from the depths of sleep. They say that spiritually, as we realize our true nature, we learn that it’s OK to be nowhere all the time. I wonder what that will do to night terrors when they insist we must be in an identifiable place when we half wake up? (I’m headed downstate to visit my parents next week. Hopefully will not scream upon returning to my husband…but now you’ve got my laughing…and hoping he would say something as sweet as “where you belong.” Sigh…


    • Sigh. But remember, first he’s super annoyed at the screams (!). I can’t say I blame him, since it’s not the first time. But I agree, the more I relax and realize that returning from ‘nowhere’ (or another somewhere?) is not scary…just different.


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