Have Your Cake and EAT IT TOO

greatgrandmother, birthday, aging

My mom shows her great-grandson how to eat cake.

The subject of aging seems to fascinate my daughter and son and their spouses. Most particularly,

birthdays, grandsons, family

A bd cake, no matter how you slice it.

my aging. And my guy’s.

I haven’t figured out why. Perhaps it’s because of my upcoming birthday on the Ides of March.

They seem to expect some kind of terror in our response to their teasing, asking if we have “chair rails” on our new stairs – ha ha, and telling us that perhaps my guy is eligible to use the town’s “senior center.”

birthday song

A Singing BD Cake Delivery

Never mind that both of us are crazy busy in our careers and our social life.

blowing candles, family birthday


All they see is a number.

But they don’t see the forest for the trees. The trees they view are another birthday, another gray hair, a Medicare card in the not-too-distant future.

The forest they miss is that leaving middle age is no loss.

Leaving middle age is a mystical release of responsibilities and worries, and a determination to not see a birthday as entering a winter of gradual decline, but instead stepping into a spring of new discoveries, of freedoms, and of staring at our kids’ tired, 3-kids in 5 years, 1-big-mortgage faces and saying,

birthdays, aging

Everyone Likes Birthdays!

“ah, but now is the best time of our lives!”

So, we just blow away their teasing and, like everyone, no matter the age, have our cake, and eat it too!


staying young

Years of bd cake, yet I’m better than ever!


86 thoughts on “Have Your Cake and EAT IT TOO

  1. A great philosophy. Despite the passage of time I’ve always approached my own (January) birthday with a childish sense of glee. Here’s wishing you the best of days on the ‘ides’.


    • Hmmm, I’ve never reached the ‘glee’ stage, not even when I was 30 (horrors! I thought I was done for) or 40 or…well, you get the drift. Perhaps if I eat more cake, I’ll get the glee?? Hmmmm, I’ll try that.


  2. Happy birthday! I wonder how I ever had time to work, life is so magically filled now. I often repeat Albert Schweitzer’s comment, “Happiness is noting more than good health and a poor memory.” It is important to take the steps to keep the health.


    • Thanks Bruce. Now, hope you’re staying dry with all that SF bay rain. I listen to the SF classical station while I work during the day, and all they’re talking about is your big rain and wind. Take care!


  3. I got my Medicare card this Oct…..I know what you mean about a relief in leaving middle age, but part of me resents not being considered middle age! I know I’m a grandmother to 3 perfectly wonderful grandkids and to keep up with them, I can’t be old! But, as I’m on my way out to get blood work done – I cannot deny that the clock keeps ticking – thank goodness! I don’t mind getting old as much as I miss the loss of stamina and energy! I resent that I need help getting up from the floor if I was foolish enough to get down on it! I dislike that family and friends tell me to “be careful – don’t fall!” Yet, it’s a very real concern…as they say “getting old is not for sissies!”


  4. Pam, I am way ahead of you on this aging thing, but what you wrote is absolutely true. I’ve taken on a new career – writing and blogging – which has introduced me to so many wonderful people. You are only as old as you feel, and I intend to feel 39 forever.


  5. On a more serious note, maybe your children are looking to you for guidance. Surely they will be as you grow older and less able to do all you want. Growing old “gracefully”, maintaining dignity and sense of self, assuring them that old age, when it comes, is just another stage of life, is one of the best gifts we can give our children. My parents died when I was barely an adult…I miss having their guidance, their examples to follow. While trying to find my way through this stage of my life, I’m also trying to show my children how not to be afraid of it. I hope I figure that out pretty soon!


  6. I just had another birthday too. I guess we are fellow Pisces people but that doesn’t surprise me. Now that we are retired, we are no longer so tired!! Every stage of life is great!! Happy upcoming birthday.


  7. My kids tease my husband and me about getting old all the time. I always tell them it’s better than the alternative. And thank you for showing us there are still wonderful times ahead when those kids move on. Maybe even more so. 😉


  8. I couldn’t agree more! We are just a few years away from retirement and we can’t wait for the freedom! Woot woot! Our full-grown children are struggling with kids, jobs, housework, and a dearth of free time. I think they’re just jealous. Ha ha.


  9. I also look at the busy lives my kids lead and feel happy with mine. In general, I’ve always enjoyed being the age I was.

    Enjoy your birthday. I hope the cake is delicious.


    • I’m learning to not worry about age so much. My mom had a ‘thing’ about never revealing her age, and actually lying about it. I think as a teenager/young adult, I picked up from her attitude that to get older was ‘bad.’ Fortunately, I’m learning otherwise. 🙂


  10. You describe it perfectly Pamela. Even I was a little dubious as I approached 65 and saw myself as getting old. But,in fact I still feel in my head the way I did at 64 and back to my mid thirties. Other people get old but not me, I can’t adjust to it in my head.
    No doubt there will be a day of reckoning when I can’t get out of the armchair but for now , Old? Not me.
    xxx Humongous Hugs xxx


  11. I echo what Carla said – I dislike that I need help getting up from the floor… And falling – two days ago I fell off a step with my 18 month-old granddaughter in my arms. Amazing how maternal instinct still kicks in – I saved the baby but skinned and bloodied my poor knees…

    But I love being where I am, having the precious freedom to spend my time however I choose. 🙂

    Wishing you a Very Happy Birthday, Pam!!!


    • Let’s start falling IN, not down. Falling in love with our life, our adorable incredibly brilliant and cute grandkids, our friends who support us no matter what. And our blogging buddies. What a precious gift – this age of falling Into freedom.


  12. Happy birthday to you! I think the fifties are the youth of old age–you get to learn again and search for new role models and roll forward from there. You go on just being the age you feel and enjoying yourself. And thanks for popping by my blog!


  13. Good for you! That last doctored (it is, right 🙂 ) photo is hilarious! Enjoy, you’ve earned it, so have all the cake and good times and relaxing of responsibility your joy tank can take, and then make it spill over some! Love and hugs, Harula xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Happy belated birthday! Sorry I missed it! I like what you said here: “Leaving middle age is a mystical release of responsibilities and worries, and a determination to not see a birthday as entering a winter of gradual decline, but instead stepping into a spring of new discoveries, of freedoms, and of staring at our kids’ tired, 3-kids in 5 years, 1-big-mortgage faces and saying, ‘ah, but now is the best time of our lives!'” I think it’s also a cultural problem–not just amongst our close ones–that getting older should be the doom of you. There’s so much beauty, wonder, and joy in every decade of your life. Wish all the best to you!


  15. Happy belated birthday, Pam.I haven’t heard this expression, the Idea of March, since I saw “Othello,” a couple of summers ago at Shakespeare in the Park (Schiller Park, German Village, Ohio.) There was a movie with Ryan Gosling called this but nothing like Shakespeare.
    I loved your sexy, shapely and toned body. My oldest daughter is 35 and told me I would “never” find a serious partner “at my age!” She wants me to be “realistic.” Ten years single and 3 boyfriends but no one serious. Oh well! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Happy belated birthday, Pam! You look great and have a great attitude. Just keep eating that cake and celebrating every year of life. I am way ahead of you but still moving along as my children it their fifties. Cheers, my dear!


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