Once upon a time, a new being was pulled out of my belly, literally, and after a weighing and a cleaning, she was placed in my arms. I was awake and could feel nothing below my breasts. But my arms tingled with the weight of her, and my eyes watered with her beauty.
She didn’t cry, she mewed. She was the epitome of the lightness of being. Her little pink arms were held tightly up against her body, elbows bent, fists seeming to want to put themselves over her eyes, to block out the light and the noise and, I’m sure, the immense wonder of it all.
Two years later, I was back on that flat operating table, arms strapped down, eyes staring at the mirror above me. This baby inside me was big and bold. He was two weeks late, and he didn’t want to come out into the cold, cruel light of day for anything. I felt him holding onto the umbilical cord tightly, just daring the doctor to pull him out from the narrow incision below my belly button. Despite the spinal that numbed me from chest to toes, I could feel that tug of war, and for a while, I wondered who would win.
Then an aggrieved scream, and he was out, all muscle and sinew and fury. He stared at the doctor with intense bewilderment. What was this place and why the hell was he here? My heart swelled with his earnestness, and I knew my life would never be the same with his presence. His questions alone would keep me up late, never mind the two-hour feedings and later the teenage angst.
And now, once upon a time is 39 and 37 years later.
The secret? They are both exactly as they arrived. The girl is a beautiful mother and wife, a teacher, and the most generous light-hearted being I’ve ever known. But on tough days, she curls her arms up against herself, battling the world, always asking me to join in and help.
The boy is as tough and muscled as an oak. He can argue the bark off a tree. Yet, he’s as soft as a breeze with his three boys. Love is hidden deep inside his heart, but when he smiles, the world flip flops in joy.
“Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart it don’t mean a thing.” – Toni Morrison
Pam, the two miracles in your life described with such love, warmth and tenderness … your capture their individual characteristics from the moment of birth! How true that the child within always lives on, only discernible to a close few. Your description of your son is pure poetry and I read the sentences many times: ‘ He can argue the bark off a tree. Yet, he’s as soft as a breeze with his three boys.’ A beautiful heartfelt post, Pam … my day starts with light and joy! ❤️
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Thank you for YOUR light and joy, Annika. And for all of your support and amazing words and stories. From one mom to another – happy happy.
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Beautiful post! 💛
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Thank you for your comment, for visiting here, and for being The Happy Book Blog. 🙂
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Aww, thank you, that’s lovely. It means a lot. 😊🧡
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I can’t get to your blog hitting on the name here. Could you send me the link? xo
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Right, al let you in to a little secret. I can post, send comments and respond but other than that I’m clueless, lol.
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Damn you t9🤔that should be i’m, sorry i’m a perfectionist. 🙂
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how beautiful, and here you all are, older but still the same –
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I think I find that the most amazing thing of all – that we’re all the same, yet years older and not the same. I don’t think I’ll ever not be astounded at how life ….. moves.
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What a lovely post Pamela. You are all very blessed to have the love of one another. It was really nice to see all the photographs and have an insight into your babies lives.
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Thank you, Brigid. I’m imagining you enjoying your gorgeous ‘flower’ children in the garden right now. xo
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Beautiful, Pam. ❤ Happy Mother's Day to you and your lovely daughter. ❤
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Many thanks, Jill. Hope you’re having a great weekend. Every morning I wake up and race to the window (this is at 5:30 a.m. – I know you get up early also) and sure enough a wee hummer is sipping at our feeder. What a way to start the day! ❤
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What beautiful sentiments, Pam. Your kids are lucky to be blessed with you as their mom. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your daughter. Lots of love, Amy
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I know you know exactly what I’m talking about here, Amy. It doesn’t change no matter how old they are. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day, my friend.
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A Mother’s Day post from a mom looking back. Brilliant! Interesting how those initial moments served as a hint of their future. Well done, Pam … and cheers to your Mother’s Day.
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Looking back, I understand why we can’t look forward. Too much to take in! But as writers, it’s so wonderful to muse and remember and realize how time is actually NOT on any timeline.
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Oh this was so touching! The love practically jumped out of the page and grabbed me, and made me look back at my own experience – though my kids are still young.
Happy mother’s day!
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I released a happy smile when I read that you felt the love jump out of the page here. Thank you! And even better, that my words touched you as you considered your own children, and the journey you all have traveled. Isn’t is an amazing trip? ❤
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Lovely post. Being a child doesn’t end with adulthood, eh? Happy Mother’s Day, Pam.
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In some ways, it’s kind of sweet to know that we’re always a child in our parents’ eyes (although I’m not sure my kids would agree with that). 🙂
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A beautiful, loving, touching post, Pam. Lovely photos, too. Happy Mother’s Day!
And the Toni Morrison quotation is true–my daughters are grown, but they’re still my children, and I think of them every day.
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Happy Mother’s Day to you, Merril. I can tell by your posts/poems/photos that you are so close to your daughters. Gratefulness abounds. ❤
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Happy Mother’s Day to you, too, Pam. ❤
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What a perfect Mother’s Day post, a heartfelt tribute to motherhood. We are truly blessed to be given the job of birthing, raising and loving our children. I love the Toni Morrison quote too. Happy Mother’s Day!!
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I jumped for joy when I found the Morrison quote. She confirms so perfectly what we all feel (but sometimes are too embarrassed to express). Our kids are always our “babies.” 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day, my friend.
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I like how you’ve painted both sides of them, the sturdiness and the tenderness. Both arising from your belly and blooming into the world. xoxoxo, Mommy-heart.
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My Mommy-heart bows to your Mommy-heart, Kathy. Happy Mother’s Day. ❤
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Love this. It makes me think of my own grown children. Being a mother is the best part of my life.
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It’s true, isn’t it? Being a mom is the best part of our lives, and the most miraculous (not to mention challenging at times, of course). 🙂 Happy Mom’s Day to you.
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I sense pride in the voice. Look what I did; aren’t they beautiful. And it is true, no matter their age, they’re always our babies. A beautiful post
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Belly to babyhood to battling acne and then birthing their own babies. It kind of is astounding, isn’t it? 🙂
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Watching them grow … too easy to forget they were babies
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Pam, you often light up the day with your writing. Today it shines with love
and pride. In those two beautiful beings that are part of you.
A daughter who is ‘the epitome of lightness of being’ and a son who is tough but also soft as a breeze.
And of course they are always your kids. Mine are by their own admittance. 😊 .
Miriam
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It’s rather nice when our kids admit that they can be no one else’s children but ours. Nurturing runs deep, and by that I mean no matter if a child is blood-born or adopted, what we nurture and love, we love into eternity.
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You have captured it so perfectly! They come in with their own agenda and we are witness to it. Such an exciting journey. Happy Mother’s Day, Pam. I’ll join you in counting my blessings. Both of them. 😉
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HAPPY Mother’s Day to you. Yes, I’ve always believed that we do not bring these beings into the world. They are given to us already formed inside in so many ways; we just help them along their path. ❤
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The Toni Morrison quote is accurate for sure. They are older but always our babies.
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ALWAYS. Happy Mom’s Day, Arlene. xo
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My mom traces my innate stubbornness to the womb. “And that’s why you were ten. Days. Late.”
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I haven’t met her, but I love your mom. 🙂 ❤
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The best, absolutely best thing that can happen to a person—to be a mother! Happy Mothers’ Day to you, Pam! Your love for your children shines through in this post.
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A mother’s love shines brighter than the sun. Happy Mom’s Day to you! ❤
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Beautiful words that made my eyes wellie ❤️❤️❤️
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To our moms, and all the moms in this world who nurture and love and keep this world going, god help them. ❤
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Beautiful post, Pamela. Happy mother’s day.
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Thank you, John.
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You were obviously inspired by Mother’s Day approaching. Maybe the birth of royal Archie – – – Windsor this week played into the inspiration too. A lovely tribute to your kiddos. Your son bears a striking resemblance to mine, including the complexion.
I loved reading this. Toni Morrison’s observation is so TRUE. Thanks, Pam!
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In some ways I’ve distained the idea of “Mother’s Day,” a kind of made-up Hallmark holiday. But then I realized, “why shouldn’t we celebrate mothers all over the world?” (And as mothers, how great to take a day aside and celebrate our love of mothering….” So, that said, Happy Mother’s Day, Marian!
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Beautiful post and wonderful picture! I don’t have children but I know the bond so well with my own mother.
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Yes, I set this day aside to thank my mom wholeheartedly and gratefully. Her dementia maybe makes it hard for her to discern my words, but I like to believe she can FEEL my love, always. xo
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This is so beautiful !
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THANK you for enjoying my little “mom moment” of joy. Happy, Happy Mother’s Day to you! ❤
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Forty two years ago today my own son was pulled from a similar incision and my life has been forever better.
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Beautiful comment, Esther. Happy, Happy Mother’s Day! ❤
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Beautiful post! Despite being removed from your belly, they never ever let go the heartstrings, do they?
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Oh, I love your reply here to my post. No, the heartstrings are pulled – always. xo HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
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Ah, such beautiful epressions of love! ♥♥♥
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Thank you, Billy Ray. Truth is, a mother’s love is powerful stuff. ❤
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Hi, Pam – This is a beautiful and very moving tribute to two gorgeous individuals. Wishing you a very happy Mother’s Day!
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Thanks for reading and commenting and being an all around wonderful blogging friend! xo
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What a beautiful and touching post Pam. You paint so well with your words. Your children, their essence, and yours all shine brightly in this post. Congrats on nurturing their beingness. Happy Mother’s Day!
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Brad, you make me shine inside with your words. Yes, that’s what we hope to do, isn’t it? And I know that’s what you’re aiming for as you individualize your posts and your topics. May we nurture our own being-ness and those we share our stories with, through the essence of our words. ❤
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Thank you and well stated. May we nurture beingness in ourselves and others.
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They will always be our babies, no matter how old they get! My labor was 36 hours. She REALLY didn’t want to come out. And my husband delivered her after being my coach that entire time. (I think I told you he was a dr, right?) My husband always teases her on her birthday and says it is Mom’s Labor Day.. LOL!
Happy Mother’s Day Pamela! ❤
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I so enjoyed reading about your labor of mom-love, Kim. Yes, Mother’s Day IS Mom’s Labor Day, ’cause raising a child is a labor of love, indeed. xo
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This is gorgeous, Pam. And guess what? My children are the same age as yours and in the same order! 🙂
I loved The Right Wrong Man, btw. 🙂
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I’m blowing you a kiss, Jennifer, for our mutual motherhood timing. What a neat connection we have through our children’s birth order and age.
And I’m blowing you another kiss from Meredith, Parker and Gregory. So glad you enjoying their romp of a story. 🙂 xo
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5 stars all the way!
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❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
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What a beautiful tribute to you, your family and motherhood! So poetic, Happy Mother’s Day!
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During the years of raising children, nothing seems poetic. But looking back after they’ve left the nest, it’s interesting how everything comes into place in rhyme and reason. ;-0 ❤ Thank you, Patricia.
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Aww. So lovely, Pam. And the Morrison quote goes along perfectly with your post. I remember the birth of my daughter like yesterday, and she hasn’t changed a bit either. Happy Mother’s Day!
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Isn’t it amazing, how certain times (like birthing a baby) are embedded in our memory like lava to rock? So interesting how you’ve experienced the same as me – the personality and “being” embedded from birth on. To mothering our “babies,” Diana. ❤
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Even though they’re so big! Forever residing at the core of our hearts.
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So beautiful. God be with you all
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Many thanks for reading about my secret.
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Pleasure 😊
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Pam, I marvel at your skill of converting everyday stories into sublime moments…only women can understand those moments of exhilaration, a mother’s pride is an ultimate delight and you have woven those two emotions into such beautiful words that their glow is reaching me, warming my heart, transporting me back to the labor room where I spent 72 hours for bringing my first gem into this world. I opted for a C section for my second one – both proud mothers now. 🙂
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72 hours?!?! Talk about a labor of love! Glad you had a C-section for the second. I was glad I insisted on a mirror above me during both C-sections (and just a spinal) so I could watch the birthing. To our little ones who are now parents themselves. ❤
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Oh yes Pam, I have a story of those 72 hours but not the wit to make it interesting like you do 😊
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🤓
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I totally agree with you, Pam. Grown but still children to you. I remember my tiny baby daughter also.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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Our children may not like it, but they will always be our babies, as well as our grown-up friends. xo
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I know, Pam, like any grown-ups, we want to feel independent and respectful. The trick is to find the right moment to do the motherly things to our “kids.” ❤
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A perfectly lovely post extolling the joys of motherhood and the unique darlings that continue to touch our hearts each day… Happy Mother’s Day, dear Pam! 💞
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Thank you, Bette. To the uniqueness of each new being, from their beginning and on through their lives. ❤
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What a beautiful tribute to your kids, Pam! A proud and loving mother, for almost 40 years. Wow! I’m sure Mother’s Day will be special for you… and for them!
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Fortunately, I still feel like a young mother. It’s only the kids who have somehow aged into adulthood! 🙂
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And how lucky they are go be your children.
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May I tell them you said so? 😝
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A truly heartwarming post, Pam. We mothers are so blessed. The love and gratitude I feel for my son and daughter knows no bounds. Happy Mother’s Day to you.
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And when they reach a certain age, the gratitude is reciprocated! 🥰
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Beautiful Pam, as always. Those kids are lucky to have you and you are lucky to have them. I love the Toni Morrison poem.
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Thank you, Gerlinde. Can’t wait to read about you’re latest trip visiting family!
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Beautiful post, Pam. Every word of it.
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Big (BIG) hug to you. 🤗
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Such a beautiful post, Pam! I loved reading about the arrival of your two very distinct children. Gorgeous beings they both are.
Happy Mother’s Day!
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Thanks, Dale. I do get gushy at times when I write. 🥴💓
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So true – I love that Toni Morrison quote. Because, although we see our children as adults (or getting there), we also see them as they were as little ones. Because of that, we are often the ones who know them best. That’s what being a mother is all about. Great post.
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I’m sure they don’t like it, but I do still see my kids running around as toddlers and going through teenage angst. I notice that as their kids grow through each stage they then want me to talk about what it was like with them. Right now they’re at the “was I this crazy and full of energy at six years old?!” 😆
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Ah yes, there’s a little payback there! 😉
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I loved this! And you know, if your son and daughter were allowed to be themselves, then you did a great job of being a mother. Seriously…..
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That’s not only a great point, Ann, it makes me feel a lot better when I wonder about their choices now and then … 🤔💚
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What a beautiful and touching tribute to the birth of your children and their ongoing journey.
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An ongoing journey that springs surprises at each curve. 🙂
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So, nice to discover your blog. (Thank you for reading my Mother’s Day post.)Your description of birthing your children is lovely and fresh showing us that a mother never forgets the details of her child’s birth–no matter how many years pass. Thank you!
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In many ways the day that each of my children was born seems like a short time backwards, even thought it’s been years. I think because of the bond that is created as soon as that umbilical cord is cut. ❤
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The wonders of you, always …
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❤
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Happy Mother’s Day! Mine is 32 and came out exactly the same way. -hugs-
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I ❤ that!
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😀
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I agree, Pamela. One never stops being a mother. What joy!
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Joy tinged with the greatest challenges in our life! 😉
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True! 🙂
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This is beautifully written! Happy Mother’s Day.
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Cheers to you!
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Hi Pam, I just met your blog through Donna (Retirement Reflections) and I am glad I did. I love this post! It made me laugh and cry. Very relatable. This is the first time I have read this specific quote from Toni Morrison. I will share it with my daughters – 38 and 35. They are also Mothers. Happy Mother’s Day to you:) Erica
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You and I have children much the same age. And all with their own kids. Yes, share the Morrison quote – I think I’ll share it with my kids too. They’re right in the center of raising young kids; it seems to them that their children will be young forever. But you and I know what really happens. I guess we can warn our “kids” what’s coming in the not too distant future. No matter, I know they’ll feel the same way we do now – our babies are always our “babies.” ❤
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Happy Mother’s Day, Pam. I, too, have the joy of two children, a little older than yours, and the greatest thrill for me these days is watching them, as parents, experience the joy for themselves! It’s clear you have much to be proud of in your wonderful children. 🙂
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I would never guess that you have children who are even older than mine. When I tell people I just meet that I have kids in their mid-30s, I expect them to say “NO WAY you have kids that old.” But they never say that! To me, my kids should still be in their teens, or 20s at most. 🙂
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Beautiful post and lovely tribute to your own motherhood Pam. ❤
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Hugs to you, Debby. xo
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Oh my gosh, what a very beautiful post. Filled my eyes. Blessed are they, and blessed are you. Love and life, such wild, wonderful, complex things – in essence all one – but each individual unique expression of life and love manifests that magic in its own way…whilst never losing connection, whether aware of it or otherwise, to the start, the source. Much love Pam, to you and your miracles… 🙂 xxxx
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Your words and description of the mother/child connection are BEAUTIFUL, Harula. Thank you!
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Beautiful post, Pam. I love how you describe your children and express how much they’ve added to your life!
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Hope you had a special and lovely Mother’s Day, Kate. ❤
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What an incredibly beautiful post about your children, Pam. I remember the births of my two lovely boys too.
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From your photos I can tell how close you are to your boys, Robbie. Special…and that bond never goes away. ❤
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So true – they are as they arrived – just taller. Nicely done
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Taller and with their own opinions now. 😆
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This is so touching🤭
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Thank you for finding my blog, reading, and responding. As a writer, it means so much that you read my words and felt them. I just visited your new blog, and was touched also. Best of luck in continuing your blogging endeavor.
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Thank you for loving my blog because I plan to reach great heights with this.
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This might well be my favourite post of yours so far! So beautifully written with so much love and warmth. Here I am in the U.S. having time finally with my three now grown adult sons, and loving every second if it all and even here to celebrate Mother’s Day together ~ a rare treat. Just today I was looking at my sons and marvelling at the wonderful young men they have become and how very proud of them I am as clearly you are too of yours. Beautiful!
Peta
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I have so enjoyed seeing the way you glow in the photos of you with your handsome sons (on Instagram). I think we moms shine our brightest when we’re around our grown-up “kids” and realize, “phew, wow, they turned out good.” 🙂 Many, many thanks for your comments here, Peta.
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Beautifully said Pam…and so true. Your daughter looks exactly like you and your son could be that handsome pirate that we all are waiting for to take us away after dueling for our attention…Love the quote.
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