So, How’d You Two Meet?

romance, couplesROMANCE IS DEAD, the headlines read.

Just like God, and book reading, and carb-eating.

But we all know they never went away.

So I laugh when people squirm after they learn I write romantic suspense.

“Daring!”

“Scary!”

“Inconsequential!” are the comments I hear (or the sneers I detect).

I am unfazed.

The Intern, Robert DeNiro, Ann Hathaway

       Photo Credit:    Francois Duhamel

But still, I’m encouraged when I read articles like a recent Time Q&A piece on Nancy Myers, the writer/director of the new movie The Intern (starring Robert DeNiro and Ann Hathaway), in which Myers addresses the state of romance.*

The interviewer asks her: “You’ve done a lot of rom-coms. . . but there are always headlines, THE ROM-COM IS DEAD.”

Myer’s answer is delicious: “I’ve noticed all my life if I ask, ‘How did you two meet?’ the whole table turns and listens. Everyone’s interested in relationships.”

Bingo. We humans love romance: dreaming/fantasizing about it, searching for it, and if we’re lucky, living it.

And me and hundreds of authors? We write about it. (The Right Wrong Man) (Twin Desires)

So, let’s share our “How did you meet” stories.

Mystic Seaport, romance, travel

© 2015 FrommerMedia LLC

I met my guy at exactly the point in which I promised myself to never date again. Ever.

My friend (and former college roommate) took me for a weekend escape to Mystic Seaport, CT. I didn’t wonder why she chose that destination. I just looked forward to a beautiful fall road trip and some fun girlfriend time.

Suddenly, she took a wrong exit.

“Stop! Why’d you turn here?” I asked.

“Forgot to tell you, I have an important packet to deliver to a work client. He’s just 30 minutes from Mystic – easy drop off.”

I eyed her suspiciously. “You know I told you to never ever again try and ‘hook’ me up with one of your work friends.”

“I know,” she said as innocent as an angel.

We drove up to a condo development. She made me go to the front door with her and admonished me to “be friendly” as she knocked.

The door opened.

And I got knocked down with a W H O M P.feather, romance

Not physically, but when our eyes met – the business client’s and mine – we both later admitted that we felt like we’d been hit with a 25-pound feather.

Within the next hour, my friend suddenly got sick and raced upstairs to the client’s guest room, never to reappear until the next morning.

The man and I talked, walked, popped popcorn and talked more, checked on my friend (sound asleep with a smile on her face), walked under the moonlight, and talked til dawn.

We’ve never missed a daily conversation since, whether by phone or under the sheets, in the kitchen or on vacation, at a grandbaby’s baptism or at home on a snowy day.

Romance is alive.

As is my girlfriend, who’s worn a smirk for 31 years.

So, how’d you two meet? romance, couples

 

 

(*TIME. Dockterman, Eliana; October 5, 2015, page 64.)

100 thoughts on “So, How’d You Two Meet?

  1. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️! I love a great “how did you meet story!” We met at Capon Springs and Farms, WV – a small resort – as teenagers…..since Bruce lived in MD and I lived in Pitman, NJ in an age before (gasp!) cell phones, email or facetiming, we wrote letters – hundreds of letters – and waited for June! Did you know on my 16th birthday Bruce cut school, borrowed his Mom’s Mustang and drove up to see me arriving after school? He never found me….no one was home and I (with you!) was at Color Guard practice on the football field. He left my present (a pretty bottle of Emeraude perfume) and card in our mailbox and had to have the Mustang home by a certain time, so headed south without ever seeing me! We married young – in college – and are in our 44th year of married happily ever after! I think we can safely say we are more than a “Capon Summer Romance!” There is, of course, much more to our early story, but you’re the writer, not me!

  2. I loved reading your story, Pam! Although my guy and I worked in the same building for three years, he was one floor up, we never met. It wasn’t until I was out with some girlfriends and he out with his friends, that we met. Turns out, my best friend grew up with him. It’s crazy what a small world it can be. Enjoy your weekend!

  3. I spied him from the balcony of my apartment, he was on the lawn just below, watching children play in the park. The sun burst through the cloud cover and shone down on him with a neon “This-is-the-one!” sign flashing, which I wanted to ignore, but a twenty-five-pound feather led a mesmerized me down the stairs and out to the lawn to introduce myself, and then that same feather knocked him senseless and we’ve been constant companions ever since that post-resurrection day in April in 1993.

    I love romance, when it’s true, when it retains its sense of “real life, with real love, real crises and real neuroses” happening to “real people.”

    • Dear Mesmerized Tracy: I love your “true romance” story, which includes sun bursts, heavy feathers, a playful park and a post-resurrection. You can write, girl!
      BTW, no romance is possible without crises and neuroses, for sure!! 🙂

  4. Thank goodness your friend didn’t listen to you, Pam! I don’t think it works for everyone, but I’m certainly happy for those that it does. Even those who don’t “believe” in it, like to believe that it exists.

  5. What a great story, Pam! mine is not so interesting. We worked together so there was no big BAM meeting. We just got to know each other and it kind of went from there. Yes, I would be boring retelling that story at a dinner party lol 😉

  6. That’s a wonderful meeting story. No wonder you’re a romance author! My husband and I met many moons ago while working in the same pizza restaurant. Not very romantic, but we’ve certainly had longevity, so that works for me. 🙂 Fun post!

  7. This is one of my most favorite subjects to make a conversation That brings smile to my face and Them both . I was first becam friends with his parents while going to a church retread ,and they arranged for us to meet while they came to Europe ( where I lived at that time) I had no interest in getting married or move to state at the time but went to the Airport to pick him up along with his family.
    The first time I laid eyes at this tired, jet lag guy ,I though to myself ,if I ever want to get married he is the one .and we did a year later .

    • Aha! You experienced that same WHOMP feeling when you gazed at the tired, jet-lagged guy. “If I ever want to get married…” So romantically casual. Who knew you’d want to get married in a year, huh? Great story Nasrin ❤

  8. THAT is a good story – and a good friend.

    I like hearing “how did you meet” stories. To me, one of the most interesting parts of “When Harry Met Sally” was all the little snippet interviews they did with couples.

  9. Oh, I guess I can tell mine…

    I was one of those guys who never wanted to settle down, who enjoyed being a bachelor and being with a different girl every week. I had a great job, a great car, and a great sex life with lots and loots of chapters.

    I started going to graduate school and on the first day I saw the most beautiful girl. I almost couldn’t talk to her, she was so stunning. That was very unlike me. When I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, she said yes, and as I hung up the phone I turned to a co-worker and said, “We will tell our grandchildren about this date.”

    We just celebrated 23 years of marriage.

    One day, there’ll be grandkids to tell the full story to.

    • Your story gave me thrilled chills – a true bachelor who got WHOMPED by love. She was not only stunning, she stunned you into love! Can’t wait for you to have grandkids and see the stunned look in their eyes as they think, “Really, gramps??” 🙂
      Thanks for sharing. I agree, the ‘how’d they meet’ snippets in When Harry Met Sally are such fun.

  10. I have collected love stories from family members, friends and strangers like at a baseball game. My blog ‘ byline is fitting your theme: “Relationships reveal our hearts.” I have been married 3x so I may not be meant to find the “One.” I started my blog with 100 short dates on match.com. I had 1000’s of choices but still did not meet someone that lasted. I have 2 brothers and 3 guy friends but go to movies with my 2 daughters or grandchildren. Maybe when I turn 60, I will join the Senior Center. 🙂
    Pam, ♡♡ I love your happily ever after story! I match made my best girlfriend with a man I overheard talking in a (23 years ago) video store. I called it: “Love Found in a Video Store.”

    • A lovely matchmaker like you WILL find the right love. I prophesize it! And yes, I first found you by your fascinating blog title WITLESSDATINGAFTER50. So clever…and so brave!
      (Your girlfriend owes you big time).

  11. I was having a very good time being young and single again when my girlfriend invited me to a party to meet all her friends. She had told me stories about this one friend of hers and she thought I would like him. I had no intention of ever getting married again. Here he was, a rather shy young man talking sports with a friend when I saw him for the first time. What I noticed were his beautiful hands. We celebrated our 38 anniversary yesterday,

    • Ahhh, a girl (woman) after my own heart. We are so lucky in our choice of friends, are we not? Somehow they know us so well, they know who our forever-mate should be too. Happy 38th anniversary!! W O W. ❤

  12. Your story is great, no wonder you write romance. I agree, romance is alive and well. My hubby was in the British Army when we met. Not sure if it was the uniform, the accent or his love of Monty Python but it was also love at first sight. My then husband introduced us, but that is another story. What would hopeless romantics like us do without romance novels!! Keep writing.

    • Ohhh, boy, you certainly have a romance novel inside you waiting to be written. Your ‘then’ husband introduced you to the man of your dreams? DO TELL – someone, somehow, even if it’s in a book of fiction! 🙂 Thanks for sharing Darlene. Thank goodness for romance!!!!

  13. Asking “How did you meet?” is my favorite dinner party ice-breaker question!

    I was in graduate school in New Orleans, desperately homesick for Virginia and planning to transfer back closer to home. One Sunday March afternoon, my apartment complex roommate, who had been out by the pool, came in and said dramatically, “You’d better get out here. There are a couple of guys we haven’t met yet.” Thankfully I took her advice, and within two weeks, I knew I wasn’t going to transfer away from New Orleans. We were married 7 months later (much to my parents’ consternation and no, I was not pregnant :-)). We will soon be celebrating 43 happy years together.

      • Oh my…Elizabeth, I love your story. It’s put a smile on my face this morning. Of course, knowing your Johnny makes it all the more fun.
        I also love Pam’s 25 pound feather…what a good way to describe that feeling!

      • What a fabulous ‘true romance’ story. See? What would we do without our friends? Whether or not there were 100 guys out at the pool that you hadn’t met, or the ‘only two,’ you and your guy were destined to meet. Congrats on your 43 loving years.

  14. Once upon a time, Ellen and I both worked for The Princeton Review, a test prep organization that regularly makes its SAT teachers attend “professional development workshops.” One learns next to nothing at these workshops — and I think that is by design. They are set up a lot like mixers, and present many opportunities to meet other young, outgoing people who all share the same job. It was at one of these pseudo-mixers where I met Ellen. After many years of being together, she continues to be a young, outgoing teacher. I, on the other hand, became an old, introverted writer. I don’t know how this happened, but, somehow, she loves me anyway.

  15. HA!! Mine’s a funny one! Let me start with a month after we were married! Our “best man” and Matron of honor are married to each other and stood up with us when we got married. We had a small wedding. Very close family and a few friends.. 20 People? We had been dating since the summer before (with a 2 month break in the middle) but we decided to get married on July 4th and the decision was made on Memorial Day weekend. So we put it all together in 6 weeks.. give or take. If it hadn’t been for our very good friends (whom my husband grew up with and introduced us) there is no way we could have done this so fast.
    We are sitting at dinner a month after our wedding. We had taken them to dinner to thank them for everything. Our best man is sitting with his menu looking back and forth at us with a strange look on his face.
    I said “WHAT?”
    He said “I can’t believe you guys are married!”
    My husband said, “I know! It’s already been a month and everything was so fast! Thank you by the way!”
    He said, “NO, I mean… I can’t believe you guys are married TO EACH OTHER!!”
    We both said at the same time, “What does that mean?”
    He said… “I can’t believe you guys actually got married because I introduced you as a joke!!”
    SERIOUSLY??? “Yep! I thought for sure you two would go on one date and HATE each other!”
    Well… jokes on him, huh? And don’t forget HE STOOD UP WITH US!! LOL!
    29 years later… and we have told that story a million times! 😛

    • Ah HA!! The jokes on the best man, for sure. I think you should look back at those wedding pictures 29 years ago and see if you detect a look of stunned surprise on his face. GREAT great story, Courtney. Thank you for sharing. I’ve been smiling since I read it… ❤

      • I know, right?? No, no stunned looks. But I will tell you something that happened the day we got married. I was careful NOT to look at my mom or my MoA because I just KNEW they would make me cry. So, what did I do? I looked at the best man! Great big crocodile tears sitting in his eyes! Seriously! So, HE was the one who made me cry at my wedding! Hmmm… now I have a whole new thought about that!! HA HA HA!! 😛

  16. Pam this was a brilliant idea for a post. I so enjoyed reading all the comments. A “25 pound feather” sounds like a genius quote for your first meeting. Loved every word. I met my late and only husband of 47 years when he and I worked on the same unit. His blue eyes stole my heart. 🙂

    • Thank you, thank you for enjoying this post and adding the story of your ‘blue-eyed’ love. How wonderful to have had 47 years together – that’s about as romantic as you can get. ❤

  17. My favorite line in this story, the one that speaks so loudly in such a quiet voice – we both felt like we were hit with a twenty-five pound feather 🙂 That is such an authentic description of what it feels like when you come face to face with that person that is meant to become your other half, the one who helps to complete the puzzle you are piecing together. Well done, Pamela, and I have actually been interested to see that movie. Thanks for the reminder. I’ve enjoyed the array of romantic comedies over the years, some of my favorites being You’ve Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, and One Fine Day. Sorta makes me want to start a new story of my own now, thanks for that bit of inspiration 🙂

  18. What a lovely story! And, yes, people do like stories about relationships, so true. I won’t tell you my story because I’m on my iPad which doesn’t lend itself well to long stories 😉 But I will someday 🙂

  19. Romance is alive, indeed. I think some people may say it is dead because they think of romance as something that is like a grand gesture. But simple things and actions can be romantic. And what is romantic for one may not be romantic for the other. Everyone shows their romantic side differently. That is amazing how you guys met, how it felt for the both of you as your eyes met each other, and how years later your love is as much alive as it was the day you met.

    Before I met my husband, I dreamed of him. One month later. Some man adds me on FB who knows my best friend from NY (I resided in Montreal at the time). I ask her about him. Apparently this person saw me in her wedding album and got curious about me (I was a bridesmaid for her wedding). So we started writing to each other, then talked on the phone a few times, until he said–“So how about we come see you in Montreal?” And so in the end of June two years ago, he came with my friend and her husband and another couple I know to meet me and spend the few days we all had together seeing Quebec City. And then we started going out and gradually building our life together :).

    • You have an incredible romantic story! And I admit, I totally believe in the dreaming part – I did that also. Additionally, you are very wise about what makes something ‘romantic.’ My guy goes out and buys my favorite tea latte every morning at 6:15 a.m. and brings it home to me; can’t get much more romantic than that.

      • That is so wonderful. Dreams can tell us so much. Partially, our intuition/presentiment resides there, I suppose! That is so sweet of him to do that! I find it so adorable and loving when my man takes out the garbage the next day or at some point he fixes stuff around the house and doesn’t say it, but I suddenly notice. And I am feeling all gooey inside :).

  20. This is a fabulous post! Romance is dead? I think not.
    Dave and I met when I was 17 and he 19. At a mutual friend’s birthday party we were college students. I in nursing he in engineering. We drawn together by very deep reasons such as we thought each other ‘cute’. A superficial base that grew and now some 36 years later we remain best friends. Possibly not quite as cute. 🙂

  21. loved your story! david and i met at work and then went to a company party which had a cruise for a grand prize. he came over and said, “if you win, i go with you, if i win you go with me–either way we win!!” i agreed and he won a caribbean cruise on, of all things, the love boat!!! we sailed away into a 26 year great relationship. he sailed into the sunset 4 years ago and i miss him like crazy!!! but i have so many wonderful memories. thx for asking…i love our story, too.

    • Oh my, Pat. YOU WIN with the best story. All the years I knew you and David, somehow we never shared ‘how we met’ stories. But I can just see David saying that to you, and of course he won the prize (no, not the cruise — YOU). David was a winner and a giver all of his life. He certainly loved you to distraction. xo

  22. I really enjoyed reading everyone’s tales. Love really does show up many different ways. My story goes like this; I was 27 and had been divorced for over a year. I was sick of being fixed up with everyone’s cousin or best friend and I’d had more than enough of the club scene. This was in the ’80s, a bit before computer dating but we did have personal ads I our local papers. I was so frustrated with the men I had been meeting that I picked up the paper and read through the ads. One caught my eye so I wrote a 3 page letter and mailed it out before I could change my mind. He called, we talked for an hour. We met for dinner and the rest is history. The crazy part is that it was the first and only time he had placed an ad (a female friend he worked with talked him into it) and it was the only one I ever answered. That was 25 years ago. We didn’t tell my mom how we met for a long time after because she swore only lunatics and axe murders ran personal ads! She would have gone crazy if she knew I’d answered one!

    • I smiled through every word of your story. PERSONAL ads??? Yikes, yes, I remember them. I never heard of anyone who had success, and yet here you are living proof that it worked. Actually, this seems so much more than a personal ad. This is fate, obviously, and the ad just helped make happen what was going to, anyway. Excellent ‘how we met’ story. And I really had to laugh at you not telling your mom for a long time. Ax murderers, indeed. 🙂

  23. We arrived at the same university the same semester—he was working on his Masters while I was an undergraduate. We got to be friends but didn’t really start dating until we both ended up at the same university for a doctoral program two years apart. It’ll be our 25th anniversary next May. 🙂

  24. Our paths first crossed when I was in a deteriorating relationship with one of his friends. We became friends first and he was kind of hanging around waiting for the inevitable end of that relationship. When it finally fell apart he came over and swept me off my feet. We were married two months later and have been together for 40 mostly happy years. I still get butterflies when he flirts with me. 🙂

  25. Pingback: Friday Pick 174 | talktodiana

  26. I love your story! What a wonderful, and romantic, way to meet.

    In April of this year, I married my beloved after 8 years of deepening relationship — our four in their 20’s children walked us down the aisle. The year before, when we announced our engagement his son said, “Yeah! Now we’ll be family again.”

    We met at a corporate function. We’d known each other through business for years, but had lost touch. I’d like to say it was ‘love at first sight’ but it was more a deep dive into relationship — learning about each other, figuring out how to blend two families, learning how to balance hearts and minds and not lose our way in the challenges of two full lives coming together to create something new and wonderful that embraced our children and left lots of room for us to be us.

  27. Diana sent me and I’m glad she did! I met my boyfriend Michael on the dating site OkCupid. While I had been searching for love through online sites for several years, Michael posted one day on a whim and his profile was immediately sent to me as a potential match. He said he disliked beets in his adorable write-up and I messaged him that I hated beets too. We emailed each other every day for over a month. When he suggested we meet, I had mixed feelings because I didn’t want to risk losing his daily funny, empathic, and delightful messages. I overcame that fear and we met in Harvard Square, Cambridge Massachusetts on
    Halloween five years ago. He was even better in person and we’ve been together ever since.

  28. This is a wonderful post! Diana sent me and I’m sure glad she did. Nothing gets me smiling more than “how we met” stories. I know romance is far from dead. How do I know? Two of my romantic posts got lots of love too.

    My husband and I met when a game of scrabble got cancelled. If you’re interested in reading more, here are my links:
    https://jenniferkellandperry.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/the-day-we-met/
    https://jenniferkellandperry.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/first-date/

    I write Young Adult with romance thrown in, so we have that in common. 🙂

    • Love love your Scrabble story. These unexpected meet-ups, when the chemistry sizzles and burns into love, are the best, aren’t they? 🙂 I kind of wonder, though, if your sister and brother had a plan all along..!

      • They certainly are the best, especially when it lasts! As for my siblings, no it was all happenstance, believe me. In hindsight though, I think they were almost as pleased as I was. 🙂

        Thanks for following back!

  29. Diana Schwenk sent me. I love your story. I met my husband of 31 years when I was going thru a divorce. We worked at the same place. He was a great listener and friend. Over time, we began to date. A couple of years later, he asked me to marry him and became step-Dad to a ready made family. He is a great guy who is very supportive of my goals and who cares about me and our family. 😉

    • Those are the ones that made the best mates: friends, listeners, and then perfect spouses forever. Thanks for your story – wonderful. My guy and I are also 31 years now and counting…<3

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