“I can’t quite believe this,” the specialist exclaims.
These are words I like to hear from my agent when she’s scanning my just-written manuscript.
But they are not words a doctor should express to a new patient after he has taken a biopsy of a gland that popped out of nowhere on an until-now rather nondescript index finger.
“What, exactly, can’t you believe?” I ask the doctor, whose mouth is open while he reads the report on the computer screen in front of him.
I met this dermatologic specialist – 50ish, graying hair, kind blue eyes – a week ago at the advice of my GP. My pointing finger, as some call it, had become suddenly swollen over the past 15 days, from hardly noticeable to extremely painful as the size of the digit increased.
At first my GP thought I’d been bitten by a spider or bee, but tests discovered no poison and no reason for the swelling. An x-ray revealed a gland filled with … some purple substance.
The purple didn’t bother me as much as the fact that my GP explained: “we humans don’t have glands in our fingers.”
Thus, I was sent to this dermatologist, who stuck a long sharp needle in the troublesome digit. And here I am, three days later, waiting to hear the results.
Dr. Nomad pushes his chair back from his desk and suggests, “I need you to stay calm.”
I stand up, sit down again, and then stand. “What? What is wrong with my finger?”
The doctor gives me a disappointed glare, “I just told you to stay calm. We can figure this out.”
“Figure what out?” At his insistence, I sit down again, but not until he’s closed his office door.
“It’s not a gland, exactly, that is causing the swelling. It’s more like…” he pauses, then continues, “Have you experienced any other swelling with fingers, or in your hand?”
I explain to the dermatologist that I’ve been ignoring what’s happened in the past three days, in which my middle finger is also swelling, and some skin is growing between the two fingers.
“Yes, just what I thought,” he nods, trying to hide the fascination in his face.
“What?!” At this point I’m ready to behead the man.
“The biopsy of the purple substance indicates that these are the same cells found in lizards.
My tongue snaps out. As quick as a flash. “I did not hear you correctly,” I announce, while at the same time my eyes, narrowing, sharpening my sight, detect more webbing on my fingers. My torso feels elongated. I touch my scalp; yes, it’s somehow feeling more pointed.
The transformation occurs so quickly that I can’t even remember how I slither out the door and find myself at my new abode.
Very clever story, you had me quite worried there and I wanted to comfort
you before it was needed. 😊 . Great work.
miriam
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I wondered if I should have included a little ‘warning’ in the beginning of my story that this is the fictional “I,” but that would have detracted from the reading, I think. But thanks for the good thoughts. 🙂 So far, my tongue is not forked.
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Great story!
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So glad you liked my tail! Ur, tale. 🙂
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Very nice tale…and clever too..o enjoyed it
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Many thanks for your comment on my “transformative” story. 🙂
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Pam, you’re stories often start with me being concerned for you!
A great story and I’m not surprised the statue inspired you … hers was definitely a tale waiting to be told! Loved it! 😀❤️
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I wasn’t sure if I should ‘warn’ readers that this is a fictional “I,” Annika, but I decided it would have more impact being read unawares. I did use the tags “magical realism” and “speculative fiction,” but those aren’t seen til the end. ;-0 I truly appreciate your concern. No webbing on my fingers… yet. 🙂
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Pam, you’re so right not to ‘warn’ readers first … you blend the fictional of the the magic world with the real world brilliantly! Always keep us guessing to the end! 😀
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Okay, THANKS. That helps. ❤
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You stinker! I was really worried about you. Great story! ❤
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I truly didn’t realize the effect the beginning of my story would have on readers. I feel badly, because I really appreciate the concern caused by the opening scene at the specialist’s office. I guess I need to find a way to begin each story with “fiction” or “non-fiction,” since I go back and forth each week. I use the tag of “Magical Realism” but it’s not seen until the end. If you have any suggestions, pass them on please. In the meantime, though, this story seems to have “snapped” reader’s attention. 🙂 ❤
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I was on the edge of my desk chair until I fell into fantasy land with you, Pam. I LOVE how your mind works!
Honestly, I guess there are worse things than becoming a Water Woman. Ha Ha!
By the way, purple is the color of imagination and fantasy, and you have it in spades. 😀
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I’ve been told I have a purple aura – fantasy swirls around me. 🙂 When I first ‘met’ this statue I knew I’d have to write about her, but I had no idea what her story was until I began to write on the prompt “biopsy.” My guy read this post Friday morning and asked, “WHERE do you come up with these things?” Seems kind of obvious to me – how else would one become a Water Woman?
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You have a GIFT 🎁!
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❤
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Love it, Pamela. I’m so pleased you’re not really a lizard woman. Remember V, the tv miniseries?
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Totally remember V. She was rather frightening. I think my Water Woman is much more serene, as long as she’s near a nice stream. 🙂
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She does look more serene as she lies by the stream. (Nicely rhymed, Pam. 🙂 )
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Gland (I mean glad) you noticed! 🙂
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🙂
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What a whimsical, funny story Pam! I loved the line about the specialist’s mouth being open while he read the results… Hilarious 😉
I once had a dermatologist say to me, “Well, THIS is interesting!” (Insert patient’s *disappointed glare*/slow-blinking-to-avoid-swearing here, lol.)
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Medical training should include the ways doctors must hide their fascination/horror/dismay of a patient’s condition while sitting in front of him or her. :– 0 🙂
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So I start out feeling super concerned…..and end up being grossed out you are a lizard. 😂 You got me immediately! That was great!
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Hey, lizards get a bad “rap.” They’re harmless to humans, eat lots of insects, some of them can change color depending on where they are, and their eyes can move in many directions. Water Woman is finding life rather delectable in her new environs.. 🙂 (But thanks for the concern.) ❤
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And what great writing to pull us in!
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❤
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Clever, but unnerving. What if that really could happen? I don’t want to be a lizard.
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I’m fascinated that my magical realism here, my story of fiction, is also in some ways a horror story for those who don’t like lizards. But as I just mentioned to Chatter Master (above), lizards are pretty cool creatures.
Ahem. But you just made me check my fingers. So far, so good. 🙂
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I hope you have a slitheringly good weekend Pam.
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It’s rather helpful that on a hot hot weekend here in the Boston area (temps will reach 100+), my lizard body is cold-blooded. 🙂 Hope your weekend is cool and serene, Brigid.
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That did not go where I expected it too. Well done for misleading me. Though that could be cos I’m waiting on news of the cyst near my ear.
It’s a brilliant story. Has everything. Love the twist. 🙂
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Yikes – I did not mean to cause concern for those waiting for test results. I am almost positive that you will not find out that you have purple blood, nor that a tail will begin to sprout. I do hope that the cyst is easily removed and not a bother for you. ❤
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It’s been declared non-malign. And apart from sometimes the side of my face burns, it’s no problem. But my GP would like to see it removed, and I wouldn’t complaint. Just cos it’s all right know, doesn’t mean it will continue to be so. 🙂 My thanks for your concern.
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Good news, but I know what you mean. Getting rid of it may help douse the concern. xo
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Yep. 🙂
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Like others, I was feeling concerned.
Don’t you just hate it when you turn into a lizard? 🙂 Clever story!
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I feel badly that readers like you thought it was the real “I” here, not a fictional one, Merril. Should I find a way to warn my readers ahead of time that this is another “I,” and not the me “I”? Complex! But on the other hand, I appreciate the concern and the relief from readers that I am indeed still hot-blooded, with no forked tongue or webbed fingers. 😉
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I don’t think you have to worry, Pam. It was soon revealed. 🙂
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Great twist! Great story! STOP IT! ♥♥♥
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My imagination seems to have a mind of its own! ;-0 🙂
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🙂 ♥
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Well, I wish I turn into a lizard ( ok, maybe not ) and slither away from all the doctors I have seen lately. Great story Pam!
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I don’t wish lizard-like conditions for you, Gerlinde, but I’m not happy that you need to see doctors. May they discover no purple blood, and may you be healthy and whole (and two-footed) for years on end.
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You got me. I was so worried for a minute. Wait…should I be even more worried now that you’re a lizard?
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Perhaps….. 🙂
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Woohoo! I was wondering if you had an E type Jaguar, as the Lair of the White Worm sprang to mind…..
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I like that your imagination plays with my imagination. 🙂
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Yay!
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I love it. You should have had the “lizardy water woman” bite the doctor for his poor communication skills. Great story, Pam.
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Actually, I kind of left that unsaid (although at an earlier point, she did say “I want to behead the man.”….
Oops! 🙂
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*grin*
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Slick tell, Pam. But I’m with Ally ~> not remotely interested in being reptilian.
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I don’t know, that Water Woman looks pretty darn happy and serene…. But I’m with you. I prefer my blood red instead of purple. 🙂
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Love this story. I was getting worried. Then excited. I like transformations.
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We’re told over and over again that change (and transformations) are good. I think Water Woman soon accepted her new digs. 🙂
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Hi, Pam – I join your other readers in being very concerned for you….until I happily joined them in fantasy land. Wonderful story!
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Fantasyland is so much nicer than reality, and at times, we all deserve a visit there. ❤
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You sucked me right in. I was so worried. Next, I wondered. Then… great ending. Nicely done.
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I’ll admit, I kind of got “carried” into this story with a push by Water Woman. She was quite insistent. I’m so glad you enjoyed it! xo
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Cleverly done! I loved the play on our emotions. xo
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I kind of feel badly about that, Darlene. I mean, I knew that I wasn’t the “I” narrator here, but my readers didn’t. But perhaps that helped with the suspense. ;-0 ❤
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Of course, it did.
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My hear rate is actually higher as I write this Pam. Here i am at the edge of my seat. You definitely had me sucked in with that slithery tale. Wowza!
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The more I got into Water Woman’s head (and webbed fingers and tail), the more I realized that lizards need a voice too. Right? 🙂 Zzzzzzzt.
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Come on, now, Pam!
For a minute there I was worried that your had hand cancer, or whatever.
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Sorry about that Mike. But Water Woman talked to me in her own “I” voice, and I had to keep her words just as she told them. So far, my writing hand is just fine (though it’s been slapped by a few readers). ;-0
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You had me worried for a moment! Great twist to the story:)
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A slithery slimy twist from a purple-glanded narrator. 🙂
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Lol 🙂
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Oh Pam! You are inimitable! Love how you hook the readers and have the last laugh! Outstanding story.
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I LOVE the word inimitable, even though I can’t pronounce it. I bow to you, poet and mistress of words, and thank you for your compliment. Being unique is a writer’s dream. xo
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Excellent. A perfect story. Short. To the point, with an unexpected ending.
Compliments
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Wow! I thank you much for your gracious words. I had quite a lot of fun conjuring up Water Woman.
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🙂
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I agree with the consensus Pam. Great and clever story, but a little unnerving in your use of the first-person perspective. Maybe your nose will grow longer with all this fibbing. 🙂
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Haha. (Holding nose as I respond.) I love writing in the first person perspective and find that I can really dig into a character’s voice by doing so. I didn’t mean to trick my readers into thinking that I was the narrator, but I must say, it seemed to grab attentions and gave a sharp bite at the end. 🙂
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No nose holding required. Write how you want and kudos for grabbing our attention. 🙂
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Great story, Pamela. At least the heat won’t get to you now.
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As Water Woman, I’m finding pluses to being cold-blooded, particularly since it’s hitting 100 degrees here this weekend.
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Positive side of cold bloodedness.
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I’m always amazed at how our creativity and inspirations seem to come out of anything that hits your brain cells like a hammer blow and you just have to write it down! You certainly did suck me in too, but I loved the story twist. . . . 🙂
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Well, you described how it is for me precisely. I can’t stop myself just like one can’t stop a hammer from hitting a nail. Whammo, and out comes the lizard. 🙂 So glad you enjoyed. Thank you.
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Yikes, I was also nervous … clever!
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Many thanks, Susan. I swear, I began the story knowing that I was talking in Water Woman’s voice, but you all (as readers) didn’t know that, so the transformation came rather as a shock, it seems. 🙂
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Yeah – you got me too!
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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt! (that’s lizard for – THANKS!). 🙂
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Good one! Fantastic, in fact…
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Sending you a huge hug and thanks, Bette. ❤
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Hugs & happy weekend, Pam!
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You wretch!
I agree with John… the heat should now be supportable to you, Lizard Woman!
You do these so well…
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I’m off to my lake lair. Ahhhhhhhh, that’s better. 🙂
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I was hoping it was just some of your good fiction and not reality!
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Fiction is so much more fun than reality, wouldn’t you agree? 🙂 Ah, this lake feels soooo good.
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Wonderful story. I was a bit worried for awhile though.
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Awww, thanks for worrying, Cheryl. Sorry about that. All in the cause of “the story.” xo
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You have a lovely twisted mind! Just grand.
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What a wonderful oxymoron: “A lovely twisted mind.” (creepy chuckle here) 🙂
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Wow.
This was cool, like the Spider-Man origin tale updated and gone horribly wrong.
Exceedingly-well done.
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Or….gone horribly right if you like webbed hands and a mermaid’s tail…. 🙂
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Very nice! 🙂
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Glad you enjoyed my tail, er, tale, Kevin. 🙂
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Lol. 😀
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How deftly you unfolded this story. You had me going–until I figured it out!
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The statue inspired me, for sure. ❤
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Well done, Pam. Had me going there for a moment!
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Then I did my job as a writer of suspense/magical realism/fantasy/whatever-the-heck-this-was. 🙂
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This was so believable that I was actually worried for you until you got to the lizard part. Well done!!!
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Thank you so much, Ann. I winced when I got to the specialist pushing that long long needle into ‘my/her’ finger. ;-0 🙂
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Loved this. And have enjoyed reading all the comments and your clever replies just as much. I think you should change behead to bite. Thanks for sharing the starting point and prompt under the photo. Louise
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The comments have been astounding to me, Louise. I didn’t know that most readers would assume it was ME who was turning into the lizard, but my “I” voice worked better (weirder?) than planned. And I know what you mean about using the word ‘behead.” I had tried to change it, but to be honest, some lizards do behead their enemies, and I think Water Woman was beginning to ‘come out’ at that point. ;-0
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LOL ok I will give the thumbs up then.
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LOVE this Pam. At first I was worrying, then you made me think, no, there’s something not quite right here, and then boom! I love the way you did it with just the little details like the quick flick of the tongue so that the transformation seemed perfectly reasonable as a conclusion to the story.
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I admit, I had a darn good time writing about this lizard’s tail, and tale. 🙂 Many thanks, Andrea.
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“My tongue snaps out.” Oh what a gem you have here, Ms. Lizard. You continually inspire me to tell the story, no matter how weird or convoluted or strange it may seem to some. (Slithering away now…)
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My writing muse seems to have no shame, or embarrassment, on where she sends me. In fact, perhaps my muse IS a lizard, a water woman, and I had absolutely no control over the contents of this post. 🙂
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I love that you just “go with it” no matter what that muse says. I’m still a work in progress in that arena.
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You got me again! I was concerned you had some mysterious infection, but Nah – you’re merely a lizard.
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“Merely a lizard,” Love it. Being a lizard has its rewards…. 🙂
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Ok. I love this. Well done! 🙂
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Haha. Many thanks. Sometimes I think I just have TOO MUCH FUN when my stories spout forth! 🙂
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I certainly have alot of fun with your stories. 🙂
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when I started reading I was, uh oh, but then it was purple! Nothing purple human -ish would sprout or swell in the body, unless you were turning into lavender woman. But anyway, great story!
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One would hope to not find something purple-ish coming from one’s body, but then, how often does one get to be a lizard?
Hmmm, now maybe I should write about a lavender woman. 🙂
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I’d like to see that!
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wow
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Hopefully that’s a fun “wow,” and not a “are you kidding me?” wow. 🙂
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Your writing always blows me away and makes me jealous. ……. *sniffle* HIGH 5!!!
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Can you feel my hug? xo
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yes, luv, I can…thank you!
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Oh my. Your excellent writing had me at the edge of my chair, Pamela. Terrific story and much enjoyed.
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So glad you enjoyed my surprisingly slithering story, Jet. 🙂
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Okay, you shouldn’t scare us like that, lol. So glad it was fiction, but you had me till the very end. 🙂 xx
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As both you and I know, fiction and non-fiction are extremely interconnected; sometimes, both reader AND writer can’t tell one from the other. ;-0 ❤
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So true Pam. ❤
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Wow, you got me on that one too, Pam. Who knew you were so slithery? 🙂
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I’m afraid the more I write, the more my secrets slither out, Elizabeth. 🙂
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Eek! Reincarnation in a hurry! 🙂 🙂
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Now THAT’S a creepy crawly thought! 🙂
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I LOVE this. What a riot. Of course, I thought it was a true story at first. Is it? What a fun tale. Thanks for the laugh. ❤
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Is it a true story, you ask. Zzzzzzzzzzzzt!!
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You never know!
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🙂
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You got me – I thought this had happened to you! Phew! Great story, Pam 🙂
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You have quite the imagination, Pam. And it seems fun to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, even though it is a statue without shoes. 🙂 Being a lizard last weekend would have been more enjoyable than being a human in that heat. Great story!
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Perhaps the heat also inspired me when I put myself in “Water Woman’s” shoeless tail, Liesbet. 🙂
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Kafka would be proud! Good story with a twist.
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Haha. I’m not quite as dark as Kafka. And I’d rather be a lizard than a cockroach any day. 🙂 Many thanks for reading.
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Oh, to be a lizard for the day. Might be fun. 🙂 Great story!
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Oh my, you had me going for a minute there Pam, lol right until the “My tongue snaps out. As quick as a flash.” lol then I twigged, took me a while as I hadn’t seen the last picture until I scrolled down to it while reading.
Thank you for my belly laugh today, I really did Laugh out LOUD.. 🙂
Big Hugs and many thanks my friend, Laughter is food for the soul.. ❤
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I am floating with joy because my transformation gave you a belly laugh. Which makes me wonder….do lizards laugh? ;-0 🙂
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🦎🦎😁😂🤣😁🦎🦎
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Well you had me going.
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You were in Austin, TX? Lately? In the Summer???? OMG! I hope this was a while ago? NO one wants to be in Austin in the summer! Actually, the weather hasn’t been terrible in the past few weeks but a few days. But wouldn’t you know it? The very week there is a heatwave in New England, it’s in the 80s in Texas! Ugh! The first two days we were in Boston, it was a blistering 97 with a heat index over 100! What the?? However, it was wonderful in Maine by Monday when we arrived to 78 degrees. Not enough for me to wan to deal with the weather you guys get in the winter though!
The trip up North was wonderful (if you don’t count the sore throat that hubby and I both got) *groan* But it didn’t interrupt the trip too much. Saw some beautiful places. Hope you are having a good summer too!
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I visited a good friend, who had just moved to Austin, in early April. Weather was perfect and we walked for miles. Austin is such a walkable city! (But not in the summer, for sure.) You choose the ‘wrong’ week to get to Boston this summer. We don’t have many ‘horrid heat’ spells like that one, but it was pretty horrid. Average days it’s in the 80s with up and down humidity. Hoping you blog about your visit – would love to hear more. ❤
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We were only in Boston the 20th and part of the day the 21st in Salem. It WAS the wrong days to be there, but fortunately only the first 2 days were hot. The cool down happened as we made our way to Rockport Sunday evening and the rest of the trip was awesome! ❤
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All places not that far from me (35 minutes to Boston, 60 min to Rockport), so next time, stop by for a cuppa tea (or iced tea if it’s too hot!) 🙂 60 degrees here this morning. xo
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Oh! So close!! I wish I had time! We ran everyday and still didn’t scratch the surface. It is a beautiful place indeed! 😉
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