Driving with the Top Down

March 2, 2018February 27, 2018 / roughwighting / 76 Comments

In honor of my mom’s 94th birthday on February 28, I’m dedicating this post to her,

I am here again, traveling along the same flat road, watching the tall green maples and oaks turn to scrubby, smaller bush and pine. What is it about my primordial need to return to the ocean – the Atlantic Ocean – every year?

As I breathe in the hot humid New Jersey air, a mixture of dirt, gas, grass, asphalt and salt water, I wonder if it’s just a childhood memory that needs to be rewritten and retold yearly. After all, as a child . . .

“Why is he traveling so closely behind you? How fast are you going?” my mother interrupts my slow, careful thoughts. Continue reading →

The Joke’s on Them

February 16, 2018February 18, 2018 / roughwighting / 122 Comments

When the older man enters the soda shop, Nev ignores him and continues wiping down the counter. The usual customers are teenagers right after school. But it’s 5:30 now, and Nev just wants to finish up his chores and get home.

“Coca Cola, son,” the man says. He must be over 40, and wears a business hat and fedora, carrying a briefcase. Nev fills the glass and takes it over to the bar stool.

They share some incidentals. The man works in the city and takes the train to work every day. The high schooler relates that his mom works two jobs; his dad hasn’t been around since he was 2, so he pitches in when he can.

“That you I see smoking with the Zoot suiters some days near the train station?” the man asks. Continue reading →

Doughnut Karma

January 26, 2018February 7, 2018 / roughwighting / 152 Comments

doughnuts, blogging, “I’m telling you, these are the best doughnuts in town,” my Florida friend claims.

“You know I don’t like doughnuts,” I whine. We haven’t seen each other in several years. Once roomies in college, now decades later Sue lives in FL and I live a thousand miles away. Finally, I find a break from work to visit her for three days. And she wants me to drive with her to a new doughnut shop.

The day is stormy and cool, not what I expect from a Florida winter break. Sue drives slowly and rather erratically in her SUV.

“Um, are driving rules different here?” I ask, putting my foot on the imaginary break as she pulls a hard right into a parking lot. Continue reading →

Missed Perception

January 12, 2018January 12, 2018 / roughwighting / 181 Comments

Boston, flying to Boston On one of my hold-my-breath-until-we-land flights a few months ago, I was the last passenger to enter the plane (my normal routine) and sat next to a nice-looking man who barely looked up.

But I looked him up and down, gauging how well the flight would go. Not garrulous, check. Not nervous, check. Not a drinker, check. All good to go.

But as I placed my purse under my seat and opened my book, I took offense. Perhaps this man – mid-30s – dismissed me already for being one of those things: a talker or a nervous flier or worse, just an “older woman” who was – dismissible. Continue reading →